Thursday, November 08, 2007

What's Next? "The King of Kings ON ICE?!?"

roborange over at Seduced by the New posted a picture of this and I hope he doesn't mind me passing on all the super-huge goodness.

This is the "King of Kings Statue" at the Solid Rock Church in Monroe, OH.

According to their site, it... or It... or he... or He...

...I'm not sure what p
ronoun to use when discussing a statue of Jesus...

...is 62 feet tall, weighs approximately 16,000 pounds...

...and is reportedly, "...the largest sculpture of Christ in America."


1) The bitchy fag in me wants to say...

"Ya think?"

2) The musical theatre fag in me wants to say...

Here's a rare picture of Jesus from when He replaced Patti LuPone for two weeks during the run of the original production of EVITA!

...or...

Jesus sings: "This won't be easy. You'll think it's strange."

...or...

Jesus sings: "Have I said too much?"
Stephen: "YES!"

...or...

Jesus sings PAPA, CAN YOU HEAR ME? from YENTL!

3) And the fashion conscious fag in me DESPERATELY wants this t-shirt of the statue...

Redneck Religion meets Country Couture.

I love it.

I want it.

I have to have it.

21 comments:

UprightGuy said...

OMG. I've been by that. I think they want to scare the hell out of you.

Not that Type of Raven said...

....ahem....

Stephen Rader said...

uprightguy - Isn't that nice? And wasn't it Jesus who told us to love one another? Not "scare" one another. Oy...

Stephen Rader said...

Raven - Oh. My. God. I LOVE that picture! "I once caught a fish..." :)

javajones said...

Who says Jesus even looks like that? And which America are they talking about? Brazil, formerly known to be in South America, has a bigger Jesus overlooking Rio de Janeiro. A few Wiki facts:Christ the Redeemer (Portuguese: Cristo Redentor), is a statue of Jesus Christ in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The statue stands 39.6 metres (130 feet) tall, weighs 700 tons, and is located at the peak of the 700-m (2296-foot) Corcovado mountain in the Tijuca Forest National Park overlooking the city.

A symbol of Christianity, the statue has become an icon of Rio and Brazil.

Beat that, you King of Kings touchdown Jesus!

ayem8y said...

Drop kick me through the goal post that is Jesus...

supertiff said...

i have to drive by that statue every time i drive to key west...about once a year.
i pass it relatively early in the drive: it takes about 25 hours to get there, and i see the statue after about two and a half.

and then i say: "sweet humongous jesus statue, please forgive me for all of the sinning i'm about to do in 23 hours."

and then i think: god, that statue is scary as all fuck.

Renee said...

I've never seen this before. Hmmm. My first thought was of him saying 'it's this big'. I'm sure to spend eternity in hell - if I believed in hell. ;)

Steven said...

I had a more morbid thought when I saw the picture. It looked like he may have been drowning in the water and he was flailing his arms up in the air. :-O

40 Forever said...

You're so funny! :)

the joy said...

Oh my God.

Not this thing, but the real one.

Seriously? Could you not have used your time and money better than this? And he is really giving me evita.

the joy said...

One more thing. Here's what I get from the picture.

Jesus in the outfield: "I got it, I got it!"

Palm Springs Savant said...

Most religious statues SCARE ME. I remember being a kid seeing a statue of jesus with the sacred heart burning and I was freaked out.

just me said...

I think he's singing "And I did it myyyy way!" That is the most atrocious looking statue of Jesus I have ever seen. It looks more like Zeus to me. Only in the south....

Stephen Rader said...

javajones - Preach it, Sister, PREACH! And wouldn't you rather visit a statue of Jesus in Rio de Janeiro instead of Monroe, OH? I mean, if you would rather go to Monroe over Rio, you're probably somewhere in that 25% of the U.S. population who believe Dubya is a GOOD PRESIDENT.

ayem8y - I love that song. DROP KICK ME, JESUS, THROUGH THE GOAL POSTS OF LIFE. The only song better than that one is the classic, HE BROKE MY HEART, SO I BROKE HIS JAW. :)

supertiff - Not even a 62 foot tall giant Jesus can keep you from Key West!! I love that. You are now my idol!

renee - So, is Jesus describing his penis when he's saying "It's this big?" Or is that just where my filthy mind went?

steven - Well, if he's flailing around in the water and on the verge of drowning, then HE'S NOT JESUS, now is he? Jesus walked on water, turn some other water into wine and would seriously kick Pat Robertson's ass if He came back today! Sort of like the Salem Witch Trials, if you sink to the bottom, you ain't Jesus!

40 forever - Thank you very much. You're sweet. And I'm stealing the name of your blog. Well, not really "stealing" it. It's just going to be my life motto in three years. I will turn 40, celebrate it, tell everyone "This is what 40 looks like!" and then repeat that experience every year. Until I die or I get to have my face on one of those Smucker's Jelly Jars for my 100th birthday shout out on GOOD MORNING AMERICA.

the joy - Amen that this could money could have been MUCH better spent. Feeding, clothing and housing the homeless, for instance. And "I got it, I got it!" made me pee my pants!

Rick - I don't know. Some religious statues get me hot and bothered for marble. Ever seen THE DAVID up close? Friggin' HOT!

just me - Jesus sings MY WAY!! That's SO what this statue is doing! And you know, Sinatra would be pissed. I can hear him in Heaven - - "I don't CARE if it's Jesus or Pontius Pilot or Mother friggin' Teresa. That's MY SONG!!!"

Lance Noe said...

I think the poster should read

Jesus IS Evita!

Stephen Rader said...

Lance - As usual, Mr. Noe, you are absolutely correct! Now, for the tough casting question: If Jesus plays Evita, who plays Che? :)

Mark in DE said...

Hmmm, interesting. And which commandment is it that states "You shall not make a graven image..."???

Mark

Stephen Rader said...

mark in de - Oh, you hit the nail squarely on the head with that one!! Excellent point!

Elizabeth Mora said...

OMG how funny. I saw this thing last year, and it creeped me out completely. It came to mind recently, and I found it on line and emailed it to Doug, who forwarded me your blog on it. HOW FUNNY. In real life, it is the creepiest dang thing. I'm studying to be a minister, and I ran crying in fear for my life when I saw it. Yuck, creepy, weird, gross. Did I mention creepy?

Stephen Rader said...

Elizabeth Mora - WAY creepy!!!! It reminds me of a church in my hometown that has a huge, towering light-up steeple that you can see for miles and miles around, which my father calls, "Six Flags Over Jesus." :)

Thanks for the comment!!!