The world just got a little bit gayer.
No, Clay Aiken didn't record "Dark Lady," but you're close. Because what I'm talking about also seems like one thing on the outside when it's really something quite different underneath.
Look what the boys over JockstrapCentral.com are offering to the masses. Just in time for Jesus' birthday...
"Want to surprise someone with a jockstrap? Well now you can do it in style with our signature gift wrapping service. Your purchase is carefully wrapped in black tissue paper and sealed with a silver medallion then placed in a perforated metal box. Finally to finish it off - a handsome black ribbon tied into a bow. This is pure class! All this for one low price and the box is reusable."
Yes, nothing really says "The Birth of Our Lord and Savior" quite like a well-wrapped, yet discreetly masculine athletic supporter.
The Wise Men gave the baby Jesus frankincense, myrrh and gold.
The little drummer boy gave Him his music.
But it was that clever A-list fag in the Dolce & Gabbana sandals who presented the baby Jesus with His very first jockstrap. Inside a silver medallion. Inside a metal box. Surrounded by a simple and stylish black ribbon.
Oh and hey, Jesus - - you can reuse the box!!
Reuse the box. If I kept that box in my house, I know exactly what would happen...
Guest: "This is the cutest container you're using to plate the tapenade. Where did you get it?"
Stephen: "Oh, you know that jockstrap I wear to all those watersports parties at the Eagle? Yeah, it came in that box."
Guest: "Wow. That is classy."
It's come this far, has it. Gift wrapping for jockstraps.
If I find a bottle of poppers in my stocking this Christmas, I will no longer be a Friend of Dorothy's.
Thanks to UndiesDrawer.com for informing of this gay development.