Saturday, May 31, 2008

"Grace Kelly," Mika and "The Point" of Coming Out

At tonight's Semi-Finals for the Windy City Gay Idol that I judged, one of the contestants sang this song - - Grace Kelly by Mika - - and I couldn't quite get it out of my head.

After checking it out on YouTube, I am now officially in love with the song. Even though the singer, Mika, apparently doesn't want to talk about his sexuality. As he says...
"I never talk about anything to do with my sexuality. I just don't think I need to. People ask me all the time. But I just don't see the point."

You want to know what "the point" is? Quite frankly, "the point" is being honest with yourself and your soul. "The point" is being a role model to young gay men and lesbians who need to know that they are not alone in the world. "The point" is to admit your homosexuality BEFORE you're arrested for giving blow jobs in the Men's Room at Macy's.

So many gay male pop stars and Hollywood actors pull that shit - - "I just don't see the point." It disgusts me.

So, I probably won't download his song or his album on iTunes. But I will post the song here. Because I enjoy it.

I'm a fickle fuck, aren't I?

"Who's Pretty?" Missy Young's Seasons of Love for Season of Concern

For those of you in and around Chicago, the fabulous Missy Young, who recently raised over $1,600 for Season of Concern in audience donations collected after her performance in "Urinetown" with Big Noise Theatre Company, is hosting a one night only concert benefit for Season of Concern this Sunday, June 1st at 7:00 p.m. in the Bailiwick Studio Theater.

For those of you who don't know, I am the Executive Director of Season of Concern, the Chicago theatre community's fundraising effort in the fight against HIV/AIDS and other life-threatening illnesses.

Missy's concert is not just a benefit, it's also her birthday party.

The concert will be selections from a well loved Broadway musical soon to be closing.

In addition to Missy, the concert also features Jon Cunningham, Rob Smith, Barbara Myers, Vallea E Woodbury, Sean Walton, Aaron Holland, Jayson Brooks, Gerald Richardson and Bethany Thomas.

The incredible Rick Frendt is at the piano.

And the best part is the concert is free! Missy will asking for donations during the intermission and hopes to raise $500 for Season of Concern that night. I have a feeling she's going to go well beyond her fundraising goal!

See you Sunday! This is one birthday party you won't want to miss!

Miss Young's Birthday Concert for Season of Concern
Sunday, June 1, 2008 - 7pm
The Bailiwick Studio Theater
1229 W. Belmont Ave.
Chicago, IL 60657

Friday, May 30, 2008

Harvey Korman

Harvey Korman is sadly gone, but his comedy will be with us for a long, long time.
This is one of my favorites. If you want to know what it's like when my family gets together to play "a simple, little parlor game," just watch this. And thanks to Harvey for all the laughs.


"There's a little yellow fellow that's just dyin' to be landed on."

"You got splinters in the windmills of your mind."

Fratboy Friday


If he's artsy enough to take pictures of himself in black & white,
shouldn't he be artsy enough to figure out how to use his camera's self-timer.



A shirtless boy in work gloves. Ain't nothing sexier than that.



The guy on the left in the front must be packin'.

It's Hell when you're mooning the camera, turn to your left and find that your friend with an I.Q. equal to George W. Bush's approval rating has a cock the size of a baby's arm.



Next stop, Three-way.

Or Four-Way, since I assume the person taking the picture is drunk enough to join in.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Name That Queen

You got the perfect Bedazzled dress, the highest of high heels, a wig teased to Jesus and you just spent more money on Mac makeup than your parents spent on their first house.

You've studied every lyric, every beat, every breath of Pat Suzuki's version of I Enjoy Being a Girl so that your lip syncing will be flawless. You just need one more thing: a drag name.

But with so many great drag names already taken...

... Bera Breast, Sofonda Cox, Kaye Wye, Iona Trailer,
Wisteria Lane, Lois Carmen Denominator, Zsa Zsa Lahore

...where can you go for inspiration in the naming of your own, personal drag beast?

The movies.

While I was at the theatre, Philip sent me an email telling me that his new drag name is...

"Crystal Skull"

Coincidentally, the floor manager at Aladdin told me this morning that he watched the movie Teeth, which is about a teenage girl with vagina dentata.

Yep, you guessed it. That's my new drag name...

"Vagina Dentata"

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the vagina...

Sukie de la Croix

For awhile, I never missed one of his columns. Never.

Every week, I would grab a Chicago Freepress mag before I stepped onto the bus, turn immediately to Sukie de la Croix's column and embarrass myself by laughing out loud while everyone else stared at me and thought to themselves...
"Jesus. What's she reading?
Calm down, Mary. It can't be THAT funny."

Wrong. It is. Consistently. Sukie de la Croix is one of the funniest writers around and I'm not quite sure why I stopped picking up a Chicago Freepress once a week, but after my friend Don passed on this particular column of Sukie's to me yesterday, I am back on the Sukie bandwagon with a vengeance.

As always, this week's column is wild and wonderful, but this is the sentence that just says it all...

"After years of successfully impersonating Judy Garland, it comes as a terrible shock to look in the mirror one morning to find you ARE Judy Garland."

I love and worship me some Judy Garland, which is why I can say that truer words have never been said.

My solution? When life gives you lemons, add vodka. When life gives you Garland, same thing.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

My New Favorite Caption Contest #24

The holiday on Monday, combined with a hectic 4-day work week and the ongoing task/delight of painting myself blue and putting on a burka at 9 a.m., has delayed my announcement of last week's caption winner.

I wish this delay was the result of my being tied up - - metaphorically and literally - - at IML this past weekend, but no such luck. Blue makeup and chaps just don't go together. Who knew?

Anyway, there were SO MANY hilarious options that I had to award a couple of runners-up. Just in case the winner can't fulfill the duties of the office.

First is this caption from my buddy Alanda Coon over at It's Coon Time! Simple and so brilliantly funny...

"THIS is why we can't have nice things, Dick!"

Next is this caption from my friend Lance at Yokel Boy Makes Good. This one strikes a little too close to home...

"Betcha ya Stephen Rader could take it!"

It's funny, Lance. It's funny because it's true. Gives a new meaning to a porn produced by Hot Desert Knights, doesn't it?

But my favorite caption came from Philip's friend Brad. Whether he's a "friend-friend" or "euphemism-friend" is anybody's guess, but either way, Brad's caption is fantastic.

"Professor Plum
In the Desert
With the cactus dick."

So congratulations to the dlever and witty Brad. Philip, if he's gay, single and has a trick pelvis, have him call me STAT!

I'm hungry for love. Set the table. Which brings me to this week's picture in need of a caption.

It's a little bit - - no it's a WHOLE LOT - - less obvious than last week's picture, but the look on the boy in the middle's face is BEGGING for a caption to help us understand what's causing his tongue to loll so damn far out of his mouth. I mean, I his tongue hanging out like a dog in heat, but...

Whatever he's staring at, he wants it. BAD. It's like Hilary gazing out over a pack of "as yet undecided" Super Delegates. Yeah, THAT badly. "Want" turned into serious "Need."

Since it's rather late in the week, the deadline for possible captions is this Sunday, June 1st at noon (CST).

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Minutemen

This was released yesterday and I just saw it over at Ain't It Cool News.

These are The Minutemen, the Golden Age superhero group that precedes The Crimebusters or The Watchmen in The Watchmen movie.

L to R we have Silhouette, Mothman, Dollar Bill, the classic Nite Owl, Captain Metropolis, the classic Silk Spectre and Hooded Justice. Kneeling is The Comedian.

Non-fanboys probably could care less about this pic but hey fanboys - - how friggin' cool is this?!?

The Boys of Summer

Even though it's 45 degrees here in Chicago...

...or actually, BECAUSE it's 45 degrees here in Chicago...

I'm starting a new picture series that I'm slightly naming after a Sondheim song.

Because that's just how gay I am.

I call it The Boys of Summer.

The reason is, hopefully, self-explanatory. And the pictures are, hopefully, enjoyable.

Enjoyable enough to help warm Chicago up to some much needed summer temperatures?
We'll see, but even if they don't, the view of these boys will make sitting in the cold in Chicago a Hell of a lot more fun.

Blog and Ye Shall Receive

Be careful what you blog about. You just might receive it.

I just received in the mail the "Please cry for me Argentina" t-shirt that I blogged about last week, sent with love from my friend Karen.

The note reads...
"After reading about this on your blog, I couldn't resist!

I expect you to wear it when you & I go to Sidetrack on Showtunes night!"

Absolutely, Karen! And thank you! You are truly the best.

Oh and Karen - - earlier today, I blogged about a big, black double headed dildo.

Just sayin'...

TMI Tuesday

An "It's the day after Memorial Day and it's 45 fucking degrees in Chicago" version of TMI Tuesday.

1. What lines have you used to let someone down gently.

What "lines" have I used? Well, a line of coke rarely helps someone be let down gently. But if you mean "feeding them a line of bullshit," then I have to say that honesty is always the best policy.

No lines needed. Just tell the truth. Not that I had the problem of having to let anyone down lately - - gently or otherwise.

2. If I gave you $10K to waste, what would you buy.

I have no idea if this would cover it or not, but since we just had our first near-80 degree day here in Chicago and the lakefront is spectacular on those days, I'd have to say that I would buy a boat. A fun, speed boat of some kind.

And I'd name it The African Queen. And I would insist that everyone on board refer to me as Charlie Allnut. But who will be my Rose Sayer?

3. If I gave you $10K, but you had to spend it all on someone else, what would you buy.

I would make a down payment on a house for my mother. Something nice that I could handle the payment for her from then on out. She deserves that and so much more.

4. If your partner brought a double dildo to bed, you'd be ____________?

"...hoping it was the big, black one and that he has that 'Let's see who can take the most' look in his eye."

5. What sounds do you make during sex.

If it's a sound that can be made with the human voice, then I make it. "What sounds do I make during sex?" All of 'em.

I love moaning and groaning and talking dirty.

To quote the play, As Is...

"Talking dirty makes it feel like Spring."

Bonus (as in optional):
Tell your worst break up story.

I did. Last week. Unfortunately, my worst break up story coincides with my worst date story.

It's the bitch of living, isn't it?

Sydney Pollack

In honor of the passing of the incredible Sydney Pollack, here's my favorite scene - - acting or directing - - by Mr. Pollack.

"No, no, no, Michael Dorsey is a name.
When you want to send a steak back, Michael Dorsey is a name."

Genius. Mr. Pollack will be missed.

P.S. To the young, female newscaster on MSNBC this morning who was listing Mr. Pollack's achievements and said...

"And one of his best was 'The Way We Are.'"'s The Way We Were, dear. Rent it sometime. You might learn something. About art. And love.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

"Respect Are Country"

I just saw this over at Voenix Rising and, I may be wrong about this (and I hope that I am), but something tells me this picture was taken in my old stomping grounds of East Tennessee.

Hell, that dude is probably related to me in some horrible way or another.

As the coal miner in Hazard, KY said to my father when my dad asked if the miner and his friend were kin...
"Well, up here on the mountain,
you just don't know, now do you?

Yep, cousins marry and not only do their children have teeth growing out of their chins and breasts with 14 nipples, they also can't spell.

Tell you what, Goober - - we'll make English the official language of the United States when you finally learn how to speak it and spell it at an 8th grade level. How's that?

Until then, you are kind of a hot bear, so stick it in. But don't speak. At all.

The Ting-Tings

Last night, I saw the video below over at eMackinations - - The Ting-Tings #1 hit in the UK entitled "That's Not My Name" - - and I immediately had to download it from iTunes.

So on my walk back home from the theatre today, I had the song on repeat. Now, I know that my body moves to music even when I don't realize it's moving to music...

...frequently, people will say to me, "Why are you dancing?" and I'll realize that I've been moving so much that I'm mere inches away from step-ball-change...

...but apparently my body REALLY LIKES this song.

You see, as I was bopping along, a very attractive, young African-American woman tapped me on the shoulder. I stopped the song, took out one of the ear buds and she said to me...
"I love your model walk!"

Yeah. I guess The Ting-Tings are turning me into America's Next Top 'Mo Model.

Let's see what they'll do for you. Here's "That's Not My Name."

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Facebook in Reality

I slightly despise Facebook.

Last summer, my delightful and charming, 20 year old intern at Season of Concern was talking about Facebook. I told her that I wasn't a member and without thinking, she said...
"Yeah, you're too old."

Then, the realized what she had said and started backtracking, but I just laughed and said, "No, thank you. You're right and I need to know these things."

Sometime this past winter, one of our supporters at Season of Concern sent me an email inviting me to join Facebook, and since this person helps us raise a considerable amount of money, I felt that if I didn't join, it would appear rude. So, I joined. Oy...

I signed up and for longer than I would like to admit, I had absolutely no friggin' clue what was going on. Someone "Wrote on My Wall?!?" Someone "Poked" me? Someone is sending me "Karma?" Over the internet? What the fuck is going on?!?!?

I have friends who use their cell phones to update their status on Facebook. "So-and-so is eating a fancy dinner and loving it!" Or, "So-and-so is in line to buy a ticket to the new Indiana Jones movie." Like I give a fuck. Get a life.

I was sent over the edge this week when I was looking for information about my friend Page's death and someone wrote to me...

"Didn't you get the announcement of Page's death
that someone sent around on Facebook?"

Let the record show that when I die, if anyone decides to announce my death over Facebook, I will haunt your ass. And not Topper haunt your ass. I'm talking Poltergeist haunt your ass.

I saw this video a few weeks ago and I think it hysterically shows just how ridiculous this whole Facebook phenomenon has become. This is "Facebook in Reality."

P.S. Facebook is still a great way to find and catch up with old friends. It's the large, swimming pool-sized pits of bullshit that I can't stand. "Poke!"

Friday, May 23, 2008

Fratboy Friday

For this week's Fratboy Friday, I was inspired by a picture I saw at Polt's Palace featuring a boy in a cap posing in front of a large picture of Superman.

I knew that I had to steal Polt's boy for this week's "Boys in Caps," but I thought it would be fun to try and find Fratboy Friday pics with a superhero theme.

I know. I thought it would be "fun." I really need to get out more.

As we can see, this dude is as muscular as Superman, as "Apple Pie All-American" handsome as Superman and he shares Kal-El's taste for tightly-fitted and simply-colored clothing.

But is it me, or does he come across as a vain twink with a bloated ego when he boldly positions himself in a picture in front of and in comparison to the Man of Steel?

Then again, if I looked like him, I would show off my body every friggin' second of the day. I would have been shirtless in the picture. And I probably would have showed my junk.

Let's face it, heat vision is great, but if your package is comparable to or larger than Brandon Routh's much talked about bulge, people will want to see it. A lot. There are some days that I can barely walk a half a block without someone asking me to show... them... but I digress.

So on second thought, go ahead and give us the gun show, Supertwink. You'll have to break down and eat a carb at some point and then your ass will look and feel just like mine.

After that, love handles, "When did I eat corn?," grey pubes and posing beside a picture of Bouncing Boy are just around the corner. Enjoy!



After seeing this, those Joel Schumacher "nippled Batsuits"
don't seem quite so faggy, now do they?



Looking for the superhero connection? Well...

This is Triplicate Girl, as played by the three finalists for the role of Maria Von Trapp in the all-gay, "gender-blind casting" production of The Sound of Music.



Batman & Penguin: On the Down-low in Crime Alley

What's gayer than two guys named Bruce and Dick who fight crime by sliding down two poles and donning fierce, skin tight costumes (consisting of basic black with a cape and yellow highlights for one and green shorty-shorts with matching green elven booties for the other) and then telling the neighbors that the younger one is the older one's "ward?"

He's your ward? Yeah, right. And NAMBLA simply brings teenage boys together with older, mature men to serve as their mentors and role models. Oh, and to fuck them. No biggie.

The only thing than might possibly be gayer than Batman and Robin as a whole (pun not intended) would be Batman and The Penguin getting drunk on Bat-tinis and having what they later referred to as "an encounter" in Crime Alley at 3 in the morning.

From the picture above, I think I can piece together what happened. Batman and Penguin started out the evening in one of those "Marion Ravenwood drinking competitions," which quickly devolved (as it does at every Frat party) to an intense game of "gay chicken," and in no time, Pengy's biting the pavement like a pillow and they're both covered in Bat-Lube.

They may say that they don't remember what happened, but there's no way they didn't have sex. Come on, two men, lots of alcohol and a wide assortment of "over-sized, trick umbrellas" in an alley at 3:00 a.m.?

Been there, done that, walked funny for a week.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Jackie & Debra

It's been a long day and I'm tired.

Tonight, I attended the opening night of Nunsense at the Marriott Lincolnshire Theatre and before that, I had a normal day at the office followed by a committee meeting to evaluate my performance in 2007.

Yes, it's a little late for my 2007 annual review seeing as how we're nearly through the fifth month of 2008, but since my raise is retroactive from January 1, 2008, I'll be receiving a nice little bonus to my next paycheck. That makes this review well worth the wait.

What will I do with all that money? Well, let's just say that with this amount of money, the next time you and I go to the Olive Garden, the salad and the bread sticks are on me!

No, my raise is better than that, but in this economy, is any raise really enough? Everyone says that we're entering into a Recession. I think we passed "recession" quite a few months ago and we're sliding into a good, old fashioned, "Black Tuesday 2: Electric Boogaloo" Depression.

People in the 30's went to the movies to escape the Great Depression through the glamor of the silver screen. In the 21st century, people will be able to escape the coming Depression in the privacy of their own homes. On YouTube. ("What modern efficiency! Who needs a communal experience when you can laugh and cry at home all alone! Real life contact is so over rated!")

So before I drag my tired, evaluated, financially strapped, "Nunsense'd" ass to bed, I treat myself to what has quickly become my favorite video by John Roberts. The 30's had Fred & Ginger. We've got "Jackie & Debra"...

Nothing describes the text message generation quite as perfectly as Debra when she looks at her phone and says...
"It's my ex-best friend Jackie calling me for the eighteenth-hundredth time. I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU! But I will text you and I will let you know that I'm not talking to you."

Brilliant, Mr. Roberts. Absolutely brilliant.

P.S. Yes, this is the same John Roberts behind the Mother's Day video I recently posted. I'm friggin' in love with this man.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

TMI Tuesday

An almost Wednesday version of TMI Tuesday...

1. How many credit cards do you own? Are they paid off?

Two. Are they paid off? I wish that they were paid off and I'm working on it. But it's slow going. Very slow going.

2. Can you be in love with someone you don't trust?

Never. Or I guess I should say, "Never again."

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, the souvenir mug and official tour poster signed by the entire cast.

A relationship without trust is like a production of Dreamgirls with a cast full of 22 year old, skinny blonde white girls. Sure, you could do it and it might come together, but really - - why bother?

3. Should prostitution be legal?

Absolutely. The way I see it, you could keep the sex workers and their clients safer and possibly could cut down the spread STD's.

It's going to happen regardless of laws or fines or prison time, so why not protect everyone involved and also divert the revenue stream to the sex workers? This might help them find other jobs and advance their education; help them leave the sex worker profession.

I'm sure this would bring up a million other issues, but honestly, why not shed our Puritanical ideas about sex in this country and try a different approach? Thoughts?

4. On a scale of 1-10, how good of a lover do you think you are? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)

I'd say a 7. Maybe a 6. Perhaps those I've slept with should answer this question.

Boys, what do you say? And remember, be kind with your rating. I know where you live.

5. What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

Referring to me as "fat ass," talking about how you used to keep your ex in line by "knocking him around when he needed it" and asking why I'm currently single by saying, "Wow, you must really be fucked up if you don't have a boyfriend by now."

Yes you guessed it, all of those things have happened to me on a first date. Luckily, all three didn't happen on the same first date. That would have killed me. Or him. Probably him.

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us about your worst date ever.

Well, it wasn't a first date (and I've talked about this before), but I remember dating a very good looking, younger guy about 10 years ago who broke up with me after a few months by saying...
"You're just not good looking enough to date."

But that was not the worst date. Believe it or not.

No, the worst date came about a year later when he started calling me and asking for a second chance with me. I wasn't too keen on jumping into a relationship or bed or anything at all with him after what he had said to me, but after a little while, we started dating again.

Almost immediately, he told me that he loved me. I would always tell him that I couldn't say "I love you" to him because he had hurt me so badly. And I didn't love him. Not at the time. I only say "I love you" when I mean it. Still, he kept telling me that he loved me and trying to get me to open up to him again. And he was persistent. And charming.

Months went by and we had a date scheduled for one weekday evening. I had had a horrible day for some reason that I now can't remember, so when I opened my door and saw him standing in the doorway with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, I started to cry.

I told him that I wasn't sure what I would do without him. I told him that I needed him. I told him that the flowers meant so much to me. More than he could know.

I told him that I loved him.

The next day, he called to tell me that he couldn't see me anymore because he couldn't date someone who looked like me. He needed to date someone better looking. Someone who looked like him.

That was the worst. And probably has kept me from opening up to more guys than I care to admit. All because of what one guy did to me. Twice.

Page Hearn

I found out last night that a good friend of mine, Page Hearn, has died.

Chris Jones of the Chicago Tribune wrote up this beautiful obituary. All that I can add to it is that there was no one sexier or funnier than Page Hearn. And very few people with a bigger heart or a more joyous smile. He will be missed.

Obituary: Page Hearn, longtime City Lit Theater Company actor

"Page Hearn was the consummate Jeeves.

"Each Chicago winter for nine years, this elegant actor would fine-tune his laconic delivery, temporarily acquire a pitch-perfect English accent, trot out his impeccable comic timing and become the very model of the discreet men's valet.

"Audiences at City Lit Theater Company's seasonal series of adaptations of the P. G. Wodehouse stories showed up mostly to see the much-loved Mr. Hearn in the role.

"Mr. Hearn, 48, died Saturday, May 17, after suffering an apparent heart attack while crossing a street in Jersey City, according to a statement from City Lit, where he was a longtime staffer.

"A native of Baltimore, Mr. Hearn lived in Chicago for more than 20 years before moving to New York to further his acting career. His extensive list of Chicago credits covered more than two decades at theaters big and small.

"Mr. Hearn acted at the Commons, Bailiwick Repertory Theatre, Oak Park Festival, Court Theatre, Raven Theatre, Buffalo Theatre Ensemble, About Face Theatre and many others.

"He directed for companies such as New Tuners and The Free Associates. And he wrote pieces such as 'Descent into the Maelstrom,' a one-man tribute to Edgar Allan Poe he performed every Halloween in Chicago between 1987 and 2006.

"But Mr. Hearn was synonymous with City Lit, a small but long-lived theater company that he deeply loved. Without Mr. Hearn, its longtime managing director and the man who kept the place going for years almost single-handedly, often with the help of his personal credit card, City Lit would almost certainly have ceased to exist.

"Mostly because of his efforts, City Lit now has a stable staff and home in the Edgewater neighborhood.

"'He had this light behind his eyes,' said Mr. Hearn's partner, Steve Gutierrez. 'He was just an amazingly funny and supportive person. And I can't tell you how many times we'd go out to dinner in Chicago and people would call him "Jeeves." '

"In addition to Gutierrez, other survivors include his parents, Beau Hearn and Brooke Pacy; a stepmother Ellie Hearn; a stepfather Bill Pacy; two brothers, Biff and Gibson; and a sister, Dana Hark.

"A memorial service will be held at 7 p.m. June 30 in City Lit Theater, 1020 W. Bryn Mawr Ave., Chicago."

My New Favorite Caption Contest #23

A few weeks ago, Michael over at Side Effects Include WHAT now? refused to submit a caption for the contest. His reasoning...
"Oh no no no no....I'm not falling for that again. Philip keeps winning......"

So, at the risk of pissing Michael off even more - - even though there were some BRILLIANT captions submitted - - I have to crown Philip the winner once again with his caption for #22...

"Kinda makes Beyonce's mom look tame, doesn't it?"

It was between that caption and two others that Philip submitted...

"It looks innocent enough until you realize they're at a church bake sale."


"Jesus take the wheel!"

All incredibly clever and hysterical. But what would you expect from a talented playwright like Philip?!? All that and he's hung, too. It's just not fair...

Now, let's see who can knock Philip out of the running with a caption for this pic...

This picture was actually embedded in a spam email that I received. Oddly enough, the spam was about penis size and not gardening. Fascinating...

Deadline for possible captions is this Friday, May 23rd at noon (CST).

Monday, May 19, 2008

"Please cry for me Argentina"

I just saw this image over at Betty Bowers and I kinda love it.

This t-shirt would be perfect to wear to Sidetrack on Showtunes night.

They play the Madonna version of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina"...

...I know, I know... There's no accounting for bad taste...

...and at the very end of the song, all the homos grab paper cocktail napkins and wave them furiously in the air.

Then just as the music swells, everyone throws their napkins in the air and we all squeal like the school girls that we are.

And you thought it was the cornholing that made us sissies. Think again, baby. Think again.

Alex, Honey, Jackie and "Natasha"

Last night, I went to see my friends Alexandra Billings and Honey West sing at 3160.

Since Alex lives in L.A. these days - - shooting pilots with Venessa Redgrave and guest starring on Grey's Anatomy and E.R. - - we don't see very much of her in the Windy City. So when she comes back into town to sing with Honey, the room fills up very fast.

And little did I know as I watched their set that sitting behind was Jackie from THINGS according to me. When she introduced herself to me as I was about to leave, I was thrilled. Not only is Jackie a fabulous blogger, she's also an incredibly charming and beautiful woman who lights up a room with her smile. Meeting her was the perfect ending to a wonderful night.

For what it's worth, I just learned that I share a little something with Alex.

We've sang together at different events here and there and she directed me in a kick ass production of Vampire Lesbians of Sodom a few years back, but that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about our "Google Connection."

If you do a Google image search for the words "drunk fratboy," the first picture that comes up is this picture of Alex as Natasha from the play Cannibal Cheerleaders on Crack.

Similarly, if you do a Google image search for the words "naked fraboy," the fifth picture that comes up is a shirtless hottie from one of my Fratboy Friday posts.

Unfortunately, that's as far as the connection goes.

She gets to act with a Redgrave and I get to paint myself blue at 9:00 a.m. and pop out of a lamp like I'm Barbara friggin' Eden or something. Oy...

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Benefits, Boys and Raging Stallions

After attending last night's fabulous benefit for R.O.T.C. (Chicago's Righteously Outrageous Twirling Corps), I'm in the benefit mood.

Maybe because Bea introduced me to a cute boy last night who also thought that I was cute.

And for the record, being thought of as "cute" at 21 is nothing; everyone is cute at 21. But being thought of as "cute" as 38 is an accomplishment. I deserve a friggin' medal or something.

So to continue in the benefit spirit, I think I just might go to The Lucky Horseshoe (not the first place you think of when talking about fundraisers, but go with me here...) this coming Friday night to support one of Chicago's best AIDS service organizations, Test Positive Aware Network...

...and to be in the same cramped bar with the hottest porn stars from Raging Stallions Studios.

I mean, up close and personal with Ricky Sinz. I can't think of a better way to start IML weekend.

Actually, I can think of a better way to start IML weekend, but it would shock the children.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Jeffery and Cole on Gay Marriage

My friend Eric Reda sent this to me a little while ago and I love it.

If any straight person is afraid of what will happen if gays are allowed to marry, show them this video and they will quickly realize that gay marriage will not destroy the institution of marriage. No, gay marriage will simply make the lives of gay people much more dramatic!

And contrary to anything Mary J. Blige sings, a large percentage of the gays LOVE the drama. Yeah, yeah... myself included...

Here are Jeffery and Cole's take on Gay Marriage...

Friday, May 16, 2008

Fratboy Friday

Fratboy Friday, you're such a tease.


Teasing me with your shirtless gun show.



Teasing me with hot twins... AND the fact that they do yard work.

(I could be Gabrielle with John on the top AND the bottom. Heaven. Sheer heaven.)



Teasing me with nearly a half moon.



Okay, that's it. Seriously. Don't write checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The JLA in the AARP

Superheroes-R-Us just turned me on to these hilarious pictures by Donald Soffritti of elderly superheroes.Since most of these DC superheroes were introduced in the late 30's and early 40's,
I think these are absolutely appropriate.

That little dog Wondy's got on a leash looks terrified, doesn't it?

'Atta girl, Kara Zor-El. Who says belly shirts are just for teens and tweens?

This one of the Flash just says it all, doesn't it?