Saturday, March 31, 2007

Whitney Houston Speaks Out About MC Karl Rove

For those of you who might have missed Karl Rove's debut as a rap star at the Radio and Television Correspondents' Association dinner...

...and if you did miss it, all I have to say is...

...well, Paul Lynde would put it like this...

Do you live in a cave?"

...I give you "White & Nerdy" MC Karl Rove...

Soon after this blasphemy was televised, Whitney Houston issued this statement...

P.S. I laugh out loud each and every time Whitney sings the words, "I'm not doin' this with him TODAAAYYYYY!" Folks, THAT'S quality television!!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Bowling for Dollars

This past Monday, Season of Concern held it's 15 annual bowling fundraiser...

Bowl-O-Rama! event where theatres around Chicago put together teams and raise a great amount of money for our organization.

"Bowling fundraiser."

combination of those words just sounds silly, doesn't it?

It's like putting the words "
Karl Rove" and "rap star" together... just start to giggle...maybe you even pee a little...

But unlike "K-Daddy Rove DAWG!!!," Bowl-O-Rama actually knows that it's wacky and we celebrate our wackiness to the utmost extreme.

For example, teams bowl in wild costumes based on that year's theme.

This year's Bowl-O-Rama theme was "Motown Madness."

Sure, it may not be the most brilliant theme we've ever chosen, but check out these guys from Steep Theatre.

Now, don't ask me how their costumes tie in with "Motown Madness"... ...I'm a white trash, musical theatre fag - - "The Motown Sound" is not present in my iTunes.

However it ties to Motown, these boys were my favorite costumed team of the night. Friggin' brilliant!!

Also, how one bowls in an alley only lit by black light WHILE WEARING SUNGLASSES is intriguing to me - - and makes me worship these guys even more!

I am now officially a Steep Theatre Bowling Team Member Wannabe!


There was also an incredible matching ensemble sported by the team from Remy Bumppo Theatre.

Remy Bumppo always, Always, ALWAYS is at the head of the pack at Bowl- O- Rama with their cool costume ideas.

This year, they sported matching t-shirts. Check out these women. Aren't they FABULOUS?!?!

A closer look at the logo on the back will show you just how fabulous they are!

"Remy & The Bumppos" and their single "Seriously?" Hilarious!!


Adding to the wacky factor, I give out bowling medals key individuals at the event.

A medal is given to the bowler who raises the most pledges for Season of Concern.

This year, the lovely Leslie Shook won the honor.

Here's Leslie, front and center, surrounded by her team from DePaul Unversity.

Leslie ain't playin' when it comes to raising money for SOC!!! She's really amazing.

I also give out a medal to the person who has the highest score in the first game that is bowled.

I knew this guy was going to win.

He came with his own bowlin
g shoes!!

Me bowling next to him would be like Tyra Banks standing next to Oprah - - the former is "playing at it" and failing miserably, and the latter is kicking ass and taking names!!

My favorite medal of the night, however, is awarded to the person with the lowest bowling score.

This year, the adorable Heather Schmucker from About Face Theatre (bowling on team sponsored by Victory Gardens Theatre) received this honor.

See? How cool we are? Did the Chicago Bears get a fun medal when they lost the Superbowl? I think not!!!


Finally, "The Wacky" is kicked up a notch by the bowling alley itself, Waveland Bowl.

You see, during our event, Waveland Bowl provides us with their "Cozmic Bowl" experience, where the lights turn off, the black lights go up and a laser light show accompanies the music videos projected at the end of the bowling alley.

This picture really doesn't do the "Cozmic Bowl" justice, but it's my way of including a pic of one of The Goodman Theatre's teams.

Notice their trucker caps announcing them as "Diana Ross & the Supremes."

Heaven. Sheer heaven.

Thanks to all who participated, pledged a bowler or sponsored a team for our little, wacky "bowling fundraiser." Your donations are vital to the success of our mission...
Season of Concern is the Chicagoland theatre community’s fundraising effort in providing compassionate care to those in our community who are experiencing the effects of catastrophic illness.

This effort supports the fight against AIDS, contributing to programs that provide direct-care support (funded programs provide personal financial support, housing care, meals, medications, legal assistance and a variety of other services for people living with HIV and AIDS) to members of the theatre community and others in Chicago and the Midwest; and emergency needs expressed by theatre community members in their struggles against other life-threatening illnesses.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

An Important Race

My beautiful friend Alanda is a force of nature.

As I wrote about awhile ago, she is currently performing a wonderful kid's show, THE TRUE STORY OF THE 3 LITTLE PIGS!, at Lifeline Theatre.

She is remounting, for the second time, her kick-ass, MUST SEE cabaret show of the music of Bruce Springsteen entitled TRAMPS LIKE US!

If you've not seen TRAMPS LIKE US, check out the link and make plans to see the show at Mary's Attic or Davenport's.

If you have seen the show, see it again! - - I've seen it 4 or 5 times and just like sex with Mario Lopez, the more you do it, the better it gets.

Oh look, he heard me.

Yes, sweetheart, I'm talking about you.

Don't be embarrassed.

Awww... your dimples are so CUTE when you're embarrassed.

Ok, just finish soaping up and I'll be over to do your back when I finish this post.


Yes, that IS what I mean when I say "do your back."

Oh, look how happy that makes him!!

Anyway, not only is Alanda an incredible artist in a myriad of ways, she also has a huge heart.

I received this message from her today...
I have teamed up with Bohemian Theatre Ensemble and Catalyst Ranch to help lasso a cure for breast cancer! I have always wanted to walk in this event and am happy that it is becoming a reality this year!

Won't you help us ensure that no one faces breast cancer alone? On Mother's Day, I will be participating in honor of my mother, Arleen Coon, in Y-ME's Race to Empower. My mother is a constant inspiration to me and a wonderful person. She does not have breast cancer, but I walk because I am grateful she is healthy. I walk because she is a strong force in my life. I walk in hopes that she will never know the pain of this horrible disease. My goal is to raise $100 (But my personal goal is to raise much more) to help Y-ME continue providing its indispensable programs and services to anyone touched by breast cancer. Please support me if you can. Every little bit helps! If you can spare even $5 or $10, it will make a difference!
Well, since Alanda is Alanda, she has already busted through her first goal of $100...

...that she accomplished in a matter of hours...

...but if you have a few bucks to spare, follow this link to her personal donation page and sponsor her the race.

Earlier today, I made a pledge of $25 to sponsor Alanda in her Race to Empower and here's my challenge:

For every 5 people who read this blog and make a gift of $25 or more towards Alanda's participation in this race via her Y-ME personal donation page, I will make another $25 gift.

That may not sound like a lot, but that means if the ARE YOU THERE, BLOG? readers give $125 to Alanda, I'll give another $25 to make it an even $150.

I know that's easy math, but you never know when Dubya is reading this thing...

My only stipulation is that you have to email me or leave me a comment on this posting informing me that you have made a donation towards Alanda's participation in the race. Once 5 of you have made a $25 donation (or more) to her, I'll ante up!

And if you can't give $25, give what you can. And if you aren't in the financial position to give at this time, send Alanda a "shout out" of encouragement for the race. That good energy will go a long, long way.

I love you, Alanda. You are truly one of my heroes.

Now, back to Mario. Have Mercy, I hope he drops the soap...

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Keeping Informed

Similar to a point she made back in February, Rosie O'Donnell brought up another interesting disparity in media coverage on THE VIEW this past Monday...
"This has been all over the news. It really started on March 16 and since then 15 cats and one dog have died, and it's been all over the news.

And you know, since that date, 29 soldiers have died, and we haven't heard much about them. I think that we have the wrong focus in the country.

That when pets are killed in America from some horrific poisoning accident, 16 of them, it's all over the news and people are like, 'The kitty!' It's so sad.' Twenty-nine sons and daughters killed since that day, it's not newsworthy. I don't understand.
I'm sure that pet owners all over the country have already written hate mail to Rosie for bringing this up....

...and some quick research I have done online brought me to a web site which makes a strong case to attribute hundreds more dog and cat deaths to pet food contaminated with the rat poison, aminopterin, which was distributed by Menu Foods...

And by the by, am I the only person on the planet who immediately thought of 9 to 5 when I heard that the pet food was contaminated with rat poison?

I kept thinking tha
t Menu Foods would issue a statement saying...

"I thought it was "Skinny & Sweet." It looks just like "Skinny & Sweet." Except for the little skull & crossbones on the label.

Yeah, that's sort sick... and not a funny enough pay off. I'll get back to my point.

I understand that the word needed to get out to save more pets from being killed by this company's insane mistake, but Rosie's point is valid - - we don't seem to care very much about our own troops being killed or wounded in this senseless war. Or maybe more to the point, it seems as if we care MORE about other issues than our own men and women dying half-way around the world.

And I am just as guilty of this as anyone else.

The media is a mirror displaying our cultural interests. They thrive on supplying us with stories, pictures and video clips featuring the people, places and things we demand to see. And it works in reverse - - if we don't want to see it, they won't supply us with it.

If they aired AMERICAN IDOL and it's ratings fell below a syndicated re-run of MAMA'S FAMILY, you can bet your sweet ass that IDOL would be cancelled faster than you could say, "Seacrest out!"'

And four years into this war, America has lost it's interest...

...what little interest it had in the politics of war entered into through lies and falsified information, but I digress...

Since a draft is not in effect for the Iraq War, it seems that only certain sections of the country are truly experiencing it's full effects. Those communities are dealing with the death of loved ones. They are taking care of their sons and daughters who have been injured in a war that the vast majority of our country no longer supports.

The rest of us read scattered reports or see brief news stories about the number of U.S. troops killed this month in Iraq, but since so few of us read a full newspaper or sit down to watch the 6 o'clock news in 2007, we click away from the news that holds no interest for us. The news we don't care about.

And I'm at the front of pack - - incredibly guilty of not keeping myself informed.

So, I informed myself.

I found a couple of web sites - - Iraq Coalition Casualty Count and - - both of which provide tons of information about the war and what is happening to the incredible men and woman serving our country in Iraq.

And to make sure that I don't lose track of the fact that our nation is at war, I am going to do something that some might find too morose for this blog...

...but then again, if those people don't like it, they don't have to read it, now do they?

I am going to try my damnedest to post a small amount of information about each U.S. soldier killed in Iraq from now until the end of the war. At the very least, I will post their rank, their age and any information about how they died.

Hopefully, it will help me remember that we're at war, that good people are fighting and giving their lives for our country and that I need to do everything in my power to make sure that our government is working day and night to end the war, stabilize the horrific mess they have made of Iraq, mend relations with the other nations of the world, and above all else, that they bring our troops home as soon as possible.


Since the War in Iraq began in March of 2003, 3,244 U.S. soldiers have lost their lives.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Powerboy Revealed

Ok folks, here it is. The truth about me. And a warning sign that might - - just might - -send me back to my therapist for few "mental tune-ups."

Back in January, I mentioned that my longtime imaginary boyfriend, TiVo, and I were on the out's and a new man had captured my fancy.


I went on and on about his massive arms, his hunky yet fabulous costume and his expertly clipped chest hair...

I haven't had a crush on a two-dimensional character like this since I fell in love with Prince Eric when I watched THE LITTLE MERMAID.

I remember watching that movie with a bunch of my gay friends in college and afterwards, we could talk about no one else except the cute, charming, well-mannered Prince Eric with his buns of steel.

Truth be told, we kind of fought over him. And by "him," I mean "an action figure OF him," but still - - the fights were vicious!

Finally, one of our straight girlfriends turned to us and said, "Guys, he's a friggin' CARTOON!!! Get a life, ok?"

I think I might have called her "Ursula the Sea Witch" under my breath, but I knew she was right.

Still, there's much to be learned from these 2-D infatuations.

Where my crush on Prince Eric was indicative of my idealistic belief in the White Knight who enters your life early, says all the right things, wears all the right clothes and bravely slays dragons and foils the plans of evil witches... crush on Powerboy is indicative of how and who I date.

It's simple. You see, if there's a serial killer in a room full of nice, eligible single guys, I go right for the serial killer every friggin' time. Now, I haven't done this in years, but my choice of Powerboy as my first New Imaginary Boyfriend speaks volumes, doesn't it?

You see, in the latest issue of SUPERGIRL, we find out that Powerboy has not only created a huge, eerie "Supergirl Collage" on his bedroom wall (which, by the way, is the size of Rhode Island), but he also starts to "hit" Supergirl because he "loves" her and he can make her "perfect" if she will just calm down and "listen."

Some of the fan boys find this issue and this plot twist too "After School Special" for them, but...

Since I've had a boyfriend call me "pathetic" and "stupid" night after night in his drunken rages...

Since I've had a boyfriend hit me - - in my own bed - - with the first punch being thrown when I was asleep...

Since I've had a boyfriend go through my intimate, personal belongings without my permission only two or three weeks after we started dating - - and then brag about what he did and what he found...

Since I've had a boyfriend lie to me so often that his lies start to become my truth - - which leads to the loss of friends and the distancing of relatives, so that the only person I had in my life was the person lying to me and hurting me...

Since "evil Powerboys" exist, I find SUPERGIRL #15 to be truly incredible!

For example, when Supergirl starts to fight back after being knocked down by Powerboy again and again, she towers over him and says...

"You hit me.

You said you loved me... and you hit me.

No one who says he loves you should hit you. Ever."

I'm sure there are number of tween and teen girls reading SUPERGIRL these days. What could be better than empowering those young women with that idea?

No one who says he loves you should hit you. Ever.

Monday, March 26, 2007

D&G: WTF?!?

Jockohomo posted this pic on his blog yesterday and needless to say, it caught my eye...

...yeah, it's hot and all...

...ok, ok... as we say in the gay community, it's "Fuckin' Hot!"...

...but what the Hell is going on in this picture?!?!

It reminds me of another pic I posted recently of Reb Brown from that spectacular motion picture, YOR, THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE...

Except, there are subtle differences.

Reb is at least wearing SOMETHING in his picture. Granted, all he has on is a prototype of the "Beastmaster" loincloth and some hairy Ugg boots, but still - - it's SOMETHING!

The guy in the D&G ad isn't even wearing a smile.

And while we're at it, Mr. Dolce & Gabbana isn't even strapped down to that chair- table- thingy. He's just laying there. Looking bored by it all.

God, I hate pushy bottoms. (Not a word, Aaron. Not a word.)

And what IS that chair-table-thingy the blithely bored bottom is perched upon? Is it some sort of lounging crucifix? What is this - - a fucking Madonna concert?!?!?

And last but certainly not least, WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY SELLING, ANYWAY?

I guess they're selling jeans. Jeans that retail for approximately the same amount of money that my parents spent on their first house.

Or maybe they're selling those snappy leather flip-flops sported by the man on the left whose abs, apparently, are also used by Rachel Ray to grate cheese.

Or maybe they're selling those huge-assed, retina-burning examining room spotlights they have hung throughout the room...

"Strong enough for an air raid.
Made for your living room!"

Whatever the Hell they're selling, and whatever the Hell they're saying with this ad, turns me from "sexed up" to "weirded out" in milliseconds.

Which is odd, because that's the same reaction I had every time I saw my ex naked. And believe me, his abs could NOT grate cheese. His abs might have looked like cottage cheese, but that's about as close as it got.

A link from Jockohomo's posting took me to Modellaunch which informed me that certain European governments have been protesting recent D&G ads that they believe to be "violent and degrading to women."

Well, if the ad below isn't violent and degrading to women, I'm not quite sure what is.

Question for Anyone at Dolce & Gabbana: What does rape have to do with couture?

This ad doesn't weird me out. It pisses me off. It's disgusting. Who the fuck approved an ad like this anyway?

I admit beforehand that I'm stealing this thought from Dixie Carter's Julia Sugarbaker, but if that ad featured a black man being held down by five white men, there would be rioting in the streets. Why is it ok if it's a woman being held down?

It's not ok. It's just disgusting.

I enjoy your homo-eroticism, D&G, but your treatment of women, for lack of a better word, sucks. Shape up or fuck off.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Does Whatever A Spider Can

The Guru Gods of the Internet have once again correctly recognized my symbolic self.

I know that the debate over which superhero I am has been raging on and on in the press, so I decided to buckle down, take the quiz and post the results.

Ya'll, I'm Tobey Maguire!!!

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Green Lantern
The Flash
Wonder Woman
Iron Man

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility!

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

I can't wait for my third movie to come out on May 4th!

A week or so ago, Ain't It Cool News posted a few production pics from SPIDER-MAN 3 that were almost immediately removed at Sony's request - - probably because the pics are mostly of Venom and Venom hasn't really been featured in any of the trailers.

For you non-Spidey Fans, the black Spidey suit is really an alien symbiote who takes over Peter and when Peter rejects it, it latches onto Spidey-hater Eddie Brock who...

Ummm... did you just snore? You know, this is very important... to me... and other men who either A) love spandex, B) live in their parents' basements or C) have never kissed a girl.

Well, even though Sony wanted them pulled, I downloaded the pics to share with you... and even if you're not a comic book fan, there is a damn hot reason to check them out.

If you're a woman or a gay man, that is.


Artwork for Venom


Artwork for the Transformation into Venom


Scary Venom Mock-Ups

Ummmm... ok... that's scary as Hell...


Venom Pre-CGI


Topher Grace as Eddie Brock / Venom

Ok, when he's pulled like that, he's not attractive, but this next picture of Topher is hot on so many levels - - most of them wrong and all of them delicious.


Topher Grace

My New Imaginary Boyfriend!

Hello arms!!

Topher, you're so sexy, it doesn't even bother me that you lost the first part of your name. We can find the "Chris" later.

Right now, just come back to bed and don't take off the latex. No baby, leave that on.


Sam Raimi with My Boyfriend Topher

Topher, don't stare slack-jawed at your director like that. It makes you look a little "re-re" if you know what I mean.

May 4th cannot come soon enough!

Note: These pics are dedicated to the little boy who saw SEUSSICAL today dressed as Spider-Man. He was in full Spidey red and blue from head to toe and yes, I was jealous of his outfit.

I asked him if they made those Spidey suits in my size. He stared at me... much like Topher is staring at Sam in the picture above. I think his stare was either astonishment or pity, I'm not sure which...

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Thinking Blogger Award

I've only been a blogger for a short five months, but so much can happen in so little an amount of time.

I mean, Britney Spears successfully completed rehab in a mere month...

Promises Malibu Treatment Center

"Give us a month,
We'll take out the crazy!"

And at a religious retreat, Ted Haggard was de-gayed in a scant three weeks!

Unfortunately, that victory over the demons of homosexuality was short lived. Ted received an Undergear catalogue in the mail a few days later and by page 4 (jockstraps and g-strings), he was once again registered as an official "Friend of Dorothy."

And in five months, I won an award as a blogger, ya'll!

Many, many thanks to Whim, an old and very dear friend, for awarding me with a Thinking Blogger Award.

The Thinking Blogger Award originated here. I guess it's sort of a tag like the one that Bea threw my way a little while ago, but a "Tag with Benefits." And being a person who revels in "Friends with Benefits," I accept and am honored by Whim's recognition of my blog.

And the best part of this award is that I get to pass it on! Each blogger who receives a Thinking Blogger Award then recognizes the 5 Blogs That Make Me Think and awards them a Thinking Blogger Award as well! It's the gift that keeps on giving. Just like that shampoo...

"And she told two friends, and she told two friends, and so on, and so on, and so on..."

So, here are my choices for 5 Blogs That Make Me Think:

It's Coon Time - She may not be posting a lot these days, but that's just because she is singlehandedly changing the world as we know it. Alanda is the yen to my yang, the Lester to my Earl, the Cagney to my Lacey and she keeps me informed both politically and socially. She is quite simply amazing.

Ono - This blog is by a friend of mine and it is brand, spankin' new. He discusses everything from Korean grocery stores to McDonald's and each post is filled with info that this redneck is still trying to wrap his mind around ("You mean Velveeta is not a real cheese?"). And his rants on Food Network Star Rachel Ray are Di-Voon!

Seoul - ful - What happens when a young Southern boy who happens to be gay and fabulous moves to Korea to teach English? No, it's not a CBS sitcom (they wish), it's the actual life of my good friend Lance and it's all written down in his amazing blog. The pictures and stories are really incredible. You'll want to keep track of Lance - - he will rule the world someday, I have no doubt.

Side Effects Include What Now? - Since the beginning of the year, the amazing MK has given out his own unique award via this blog - - The FYYFFies. That stands for Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck -ies and believe it or not, this award is given out primarily to Republicans. But don't worry, if Hillary and Obama keep avoiding questions about gays in the military or gay marriage, I'm sure MK will throw one their way.

Stillettos and Sneakers - Because not only is she one of the most talented people I have ever met, she is also the most caring and the most passionate. Her stories, but past and present, are poignant and hilarious. And she was on GREY'S ANATOMY - - how friggin' cool is that?!?!

That's my five, but I could easily list 5 or 10 others. Hell, Mike's blog constantly makes me think "How does he KNOW all this computer crap, anyway? And where did he get that Dr. Who action figure? Hmmmmmm."

Thanks again to Whim. Check out her blog and learn more about her and her life before and after the fire. Her stories are inspiring and I am proud to call her my friend.

Friday, March 23, 2007


A little while ago, I posted about how the local gay and lesbian health center, Howard Brown, does not have the word "gay" or "lesbian" or "homosexual" on any of their advertisements that they plaster all over the city's buses and trains.

My lovely friend Angel, who has provided more HIV/AIDS prevention programming for young people in this city than almost anyone else I can think of, left this comment...

"You're so ACT UP! Once an 80's fag, always an 80's fag."

I laughed so hard because it is so true.

At 37, I am at a strange age in the gay community. I remember my friends dying so quickly from AIDS that I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. And I also have lived a full decade with protease inhibitors keeping my HIV-positive friends alive for far longer than any of us thought was possible.

I have lived to a point in our history when television has hits like WILL & GRACE and QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY. I've lived to see an out lesbian host the Academy Awards and I've seen her girlfriend attend the ceremony - - as her girlfriend!!!

Hell, other than Jim J. Bullock on TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT, there WERE no gay people on television when I was growing up!

I know that we've come far, but I feel like I'm living in a world surrounded by folks in The Mattachine Society and I'm aching to throw bricks at the cops outside of The Stonewall Inn.

Gays today are so concerned about people calling them a faggot. How about raging and screaming when gunmen bust into a room full of gay men at a New Year's Eve party on Chicago's south side and open fire and no one calls it a Hate Crime?

Gays are worried about Ann Coulter calling a straight Presidential candidate a faggot. How about rioting when Andrew Anthos is beaten to death with a pipe?

This is Andrew Anthos. Andrew's death angers me.

Just a few weeks ago, he was a 72 year old gay man living on disability who had been working for years and years on a dream of his...

To light the Dome of the Michigan State Capitol.

To make it glow red, white and blue once a year to honor veterans and police officers.

On February 13th, he was riding home from the library on the bus, quietly singing along to the music on his headphones, when a young man asked him if he was a faggot.

Andrew ignored him and got off the bus, but the young man followed him. Andrew then started helping a friend of his in a wheelchair who was stuck in some snow and the young man again asked him if he was a faggot.

Andrew said yes. Then the "young man" hit Andrew in the back of the head with a pipe as Andrew's friend yelled for him to stop.

Andrew then slipped into a coma.

Andrew died 2 days later.

One of the articles I read about Andrew's murder said...

"The Capitol dome should be lit to honor what Anthos, in his death, has come to symbolize: the patriotic ideals of peace, inclusion and tolerance."

Of course, the Capitol Dome should be lit in Andrew's honor. Money should pour in from gay and lesbians across the country to make Andrew's longtime dream a reality.

But as for those "patriotic ideals"...

Peace? Absolutely.

Inclusion? Alright. I've give you that one.

Tolerance? Fuck No!

I don't want to be "tolerated."

I "tolerate" the long line to get a drink at Sidetrack. I "tolerate" seeing my ex in public. I "tolerate" the sucky lyrics to WICKED.

I don't want to be "tolerated" and Andrew's death should not stand for "Tolerance."

Andrew's death and the death of Matthew Shepard, Harvey Milk and all of my friends who died of AIDS before Ronald Reagan would even say the fucking word must lead to Acceptance.

And if gays won't be accepted by straights, then we gay men and lesbians need to get angry. And scream and yell and rant and rage until no one else can ever be bludgeoned to death for admitting, openly and honestly, who he is!

Thank God, Larry Kramer is back. But sadly, what Larry said about AIDS years ago is still true to this day.

"Who cares if a faggot dies?"

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Cap's Statement from the Grave

I've given the guys at Graham Cracker Comics a some Hell on this blog recently...

...actually, most of the guys in there are ok - - it's just one guy who I think is running for the Office of President Douchebag of DickWadd Lane...

...but yesterday, as I walked up to the store to go in and by my weekly Wednesday stash, I noticed that they had added a word bubble beside the Captain America that graces their front window.

Those of you who know me know that I have a very loud, guttural attack of a laugh that comic book fans might think is similar to Black Canary's
"Canary Cry"...

...well, I let out my Canary Cry and people were staring.

But this was just too funny to not celebrate with a good laugh.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007


Today, Suzanne Plunkett donated a photo shoot for new headshots as a prize for one of the bowlers at this coming Monday's Bowl-O-Rama, Season of Concern's annual bowling fundraiser.

Yes, a "bowling fundraiser." Don't judge.

After watching REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER last week, I think I know the person who needs this prize the most. This is from Bill's NEW RULES section...

New Rule:
Khalid Shaikh Mohammed must get a new head shot.

Dude, I don't care how long your resume is; with this photo, you'll be lucky to get a gig blowing up a dinner theater.

Look at you. You're like the Arab Nick Nolte. You look like Ron Jeremy with a hangover!

You think you were tortured before? Wait until we start waxing off that chest hair!

And, by the way, "Shaikh" -there's nothing chic about that outfit. That shirt doesn't say "Death to America." It says, "Flashdance, What a Feeling."

I can't believe we have the same agent.

Funny stuff, but guys, does anyone actually believe that this man was the "mastermind" behind the 9/11 attacks?

The news has been all atwitter about KSM's (Khalid Shaikh Mohammed's) "confession"...

...and can I just say that our use of the English language is both lazy and ridiculous when "foreign" names are shortened so we won't have to be bothered with difficult tasks like "understanding someone else's culture" or "learning how to spell."

...and yes, I did put quotation marks around the word "confession" because it is utterly idiotic to believe anything KSM "confesses to" after being tortured by waterboarding.

I chose to display this picture of waterboarding because the pictures I've seen of actual waterboarding make me feel sick and disgusted - - with the picture and my country.

If you waterboarded me, I would say anything, I would do anything, I would confess to anything because I would think to myself...

"If I tell them something, even if it's a complete lie, they won't kill me. And I don't want to die."

A year or so ago, I was watching the episode of SIX FEET UNDER where David picked up a hitchhiker who pulled a gun on him and took him through a city-wide terror ride of stealing and drugs and violence. Near the end of the episode, the hitchhiker pours gasoline all over David, has a lighter in one hand, a gun in the other and asks him which way he wants to die.

Usually, when you watch a television show that is airing in the middle of the season, you know that a major character will not be killed off or die. It's like watching a highwire act and knowing that the acrobats won't get hurt because there's a saftety net below them.

But watching that episode of SIX FEET UNDER, I didn't relax because there was no safety net. If any television show would have killed off a major character out of the blue with no rhyme or reason, it would have been SIX FEET UNDER.

So, I was terrified as I waited to see what would happen next.

Until recently, Americans all shared a safety net - - the Constitution, the Bill of Rights - - and while we knew that there were people in other countries who may want to harm us, but we didn't fear our own government.

Now, we have Torture. We not only have it, we condone it. We rationalize it. Some people even praise it for the "information" that we are receiving.

But how much of that information is legitimate? How many tortured prisoners are saying anything, lying and confessing to things they have never done, so that the torture will stop?

And what if you're innocent, but you won't create a false story or you won't confess to an crime you did not commit just to make the torture end? I guess the U.S. will simply continue to torture you - - dumping water down your throat - - until you die.

Before, American citizens, as well enemies of the American people, knew in their hearts that the United States would never kill someone "out of the blue with no rhyme or reason."

Now, KSM and others like him know that America will hurt, maim, torture and quite possibly kill you if you don't tell them what they want to hear. It seems like America doesn't want the truth, they want you to tell them what they want to hear.

So, KSM is waterboarded and later on confesses to being the brains behind 9/11 and many other planned attacks.

A CNN online poll shows that 74% do not believe all of the claims made by KSM.

That what happens when you no longer have a safety net and don't trust the government of your own country.

So here I am again, terrified as I wait to see what happens next.