Sunday, March 25, 2007

Does Whatever A Spider Can

The Guru Gods of the Internet have once again correctly recognized my symbolic self.

I know that the debate over which superhero I am has been raging on and on in the press, so I decided to buckle down, take the quiz and post the results.

Ya'll, I'm Tobey Maguire!!!

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man
80%
Superman
75%
Supergirl
75%
Green Lantern
70%
Batman
65%
The Flash
60%
Robin
55%
Wonder Woman
55%
Iron Man
55%
Hulk
50%
Catwoman
35%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility!

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz



I can't wait for my third movie to come out on May 4th!

A week or so ago, Ain't It Cool News posted a few production pics from SPIDER-MAN 3 that were almost immediately removed at Sony's request - - probably because the pics are mostly of Venom and Venom hasn't really been featured in any of the trailers.

For you non-Spidey Fans, the black Spidey suit is really an alien symbiote who takes over Peter and when Peter rejects it, it latches onto Spidey-hater Eddie Brock who...

Ummm... did you just snore? You know, this is very important... to me... and other men who either A) love spandex, B) live in their parents' basements or C) have never kissed a girl.

Well, even though Sony wanted them pulled, I downloaded the pics to share with you... and even if you're not a comic book fan, there is a damn hot reason to check them out.

If you're a woman or a gay man, that is.

Enjoy.

Artwork for Venom


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Artwork for the Transformation into Venom



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Scary Venom Mock-Ups



Ummmm... ok... that's scary as Hell...

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Venom Pre-CGI


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Topher Grace as Eddie Brock / Venom



Ok, when he's pulled like that, he's not attractive, but this next picture of Topher is hot on so many levels - - most of them wrong and all of them delicious.

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Topher Grace

My New Imaginary Boyfriend!


Hello arms!!

Topher, you're so sexy, it doesn't even bother me that you lost the first part of your name. We can find the "Chris" later.

Right now, just come back to bed and don't take off the latex. No baby, leave that on.


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Sam Raimi with My Boyfriend Topher


Topher, don't stare slack-jawed at your director like that. It makes you look a little "re-re" if you know what I mean.

May 4th cannot come soon enough!
________

Note: These pics are dedicated to the little boy who saw SEUSSICAL today dressed as Spider-Man. He was in full Spidey red and blue from head to toe and yes, I was jealous of his outfit.

I asked him if they made those Spidey suits in my size. He stared at me... much like Topher is staring at Sam in the picture above. I think his stare was either astonishment or pity, I'm not sure which...

19 comments:

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Your results:
You are Green LanternGreen Lantern
Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.
75%

Wonder Woman
72%

Supergirl
67%

Hulk
65%

Superman
55%

Spider-Man
55%

Batman
50%

Catwoman
50%

The Flash
45%

Robin
40%

Iron Man
25%

I'm looking forward to 3 too. I must admit that I wasn't too fond of 2 though.

Lance Noe said...

JUST TO PISS YOU OFF I THOUGHT I WOULD LET YOU KNOW, Spiderman 3 opens in Seoul, or according to the signs that blanket the city on April 20th here.

This is not odd since we get many of these types of movies first! We got superman, the other spidey movie, all the rings trilogy and king kong about 2 weeks early.

I will be there and will give a full report!

Lance Noe said...

P.S. Would you like a Spiderman Korean poster? They also have lobby cards here too! Just let me know your addy.

Stephen Rader said...

Whim - You are GL! Hot! Especially since Hal Jordan is back and beef cake-ier than ever!!!

Lance - Am I going to have to buy a ticket to Korea so I can be the first boy on the block to see Spider-Man 3?

And Hell yeah, I want a Korean Spidey poster and lobby card.

(It's not in Korean, is it?) :)

Lance Noe said...

OF COURSE IT IS IN KOREAN!

Stephen Rader said...

Lance - Well, don't those people know how to speak English yet? Geez...

Lance Noe said...

I'm the green lantern, who the fuck is he?

Lance Noe said...

p.s. when you going to get messenger like you promised?

Stephen Rader said...

Lance - I'll get on the MSN Messenger. I suck. Literally and figuratively.

Now, you asked, "Who is the Green Lantern?!?!" Are you seriously asking who is the Green Lantern? My dear, my dear...

Go here for DC Comics 101 regarding The Green Lantern: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Lantern

And remember his Oath:

In brightest day, in blackest night
No evil shall escape my sight
Let those who worship evil's might
Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!

And baby, he's hot in that green spandex. HOT!

Anonymous said...

I think the Raimi-Venom is a great deception for all that Venom fans. It seems Sam Raimi had an accurate perception about what thing Venom should be for Spiderman Universe. Unfortunately, in its very own creativity, Sam eliminated all the symbolisms that many drawers, despite small changes, knew to preserve.

GREAT WHITE LOGO IN CHEST. Contrast between white and black means danger, “be careful”, poisson. Just look at the nature, any bug with this color pattern is saying “hey, buddy. Stay away”. Instead, Raimi-Venom has a tiny grey spider, barely visible.

GREAT TEETH ALWAYS EXPOSED. This means aggression and violence at extreme and permanent. Is not Venom this, always?. Instead, Raimi-Venom has a couple of big lips covering mostly time tiny teeth. Just look at the production photos.

HEIGHT. Size matters. It means power and implicit domination. Instead, Raimi-Venom is almost a dwarf.

GREAT TONGUE. Sadism and cruelty, they are basic in Venom’s personality. If it has, Raimi-Venom doesn’t shows anything like that.

After this, any doubt that Raimi-Venom is a great deception?

Master Aaron said...

Alright, here's what I need to know: can one read one of these comic book-things on an elliptical trainer? Because I cannot take up ANY ADDITIONAL HOBBIES OR INTERESTS that do not involve weight reduction. I'm not startin' this if it won't stay open on the The Beautifier...

Stephen Rader said...

Anonymous - Hell to the Yes! Excellent points, all. I absolutely agree. But I guess I'm excited that Raimi got a least SOME of Venom right - - because after sitting through DAREDEVIL, you realize that SPIDER-MAN could go horribly, horribly wrong.

Aaron - Of course, you can read comics when working out... just not my comics... because I don't want the spines broken or sweat stains on the artwork. It decreases the value. :)

Master Aaron said...

If you promise to play nice I'll let you sniff Mine when I'm done sweating on them. For free. I'm planning on charging everyone else so that I can afford to send friends blow-jobs via Lance's new "service."

khainajr said...

Holy cow that kid in the audience was incredible. Did you see him dancing along with us? Unreal!

Stephen Rader said...

Khainajr - I didn't see Spidey in the audience, but he definitely caught my eye in the lobby. He stood in line to get my (The Cat's) autograph and I believe he got more attention and praise than I did.

Of course, he can crawl on walls and catch thugs with his "web-shooters" and I'm just a big fag in a funny hat, but still... Attention Must Be Paid!!!

Lance Noe said...

i have said this before but, you need to get out more!

Stephen Rader said...

Lance - Either get out more or make it a rule not to compete for an audience's attention with a young boy dressed as Spider-Man.

Dora the Explorer could have shot out of my butt and everyone would have still kept their eyes on Lil' Spidey. Oy...

Anonymous said...

I knew there was a reason we got along.

You are Spider-Man

80%
Supergirl

80%
Green Lantern

80%
Superman

70%
Iron Man

70%
Wonder Woman

50%
Robin

50%
Catwoman

50%
Batman

40%
Hulk

40%
The Flash

25%
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.


And when did Topher get hot? He was a skinny geeky guy from the 70's show and fit that mold to a T.

Kristie

Stephen Rader said...

Kristie - Of course, we're both Spider-Man. That makes perfect sense.

And while we're on the subject, since we're BOTH Spider-Man, would you mind if I changed a chromosome and became Spider-Woman? Her costume is the hottest thing this side of JLo on a Red Carpet!!!