Friday, March 16, 2007

How I Want to Spend St. Patrick's Day

This is the way that Chicago celebrates St. Patrick's Day.

They claim that they "dye the Chicago River green," but as a longtime resident of the Windy City, I gotta tell ya that it looks pretty close to that color all year round.

It's not quite so "emerald" up close - - it's more "bile mixed with cabbage throw-up."

Not pretty. Not pretty at all.

Here's how I would rather spend St. Patrick's Day...


Oh, yeah...

You know...

... a little change of angle and this boy could be Spider-Man.


Ooooo... yum...
That's what I'm talkin' about!

Forget Spidey Back in Black,
Give me Spidey in Tighty-Whities!

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I'd rather celebrate St. Paddy's Day with Tighty-Whitey Spidey than this Dick Cheney-lookin', Lucky Charms-eatin' freakazoid...


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But he would be better than St. Pat's with "The Hoff"

Can you imagine Hasselhoff as a Leprechaun?

The Hoff: "Catch me and you'll win my Pot o' Gold!"

Stephen: "Seriously, don't touch me. Keep your "Pot o' Gold," dude. I'm outta here."

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Of course, the caption of the picture below should read...

"Kiss me! I'm Martian!"

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Ah, yes. I've found it.

Here's how I want to spend my St. Patrick's Day...

A boy...

A beer...

And some cheese.

His green boxers would look so much better on my floor.

Don't you agree?

8 comments:

Haunted TUNA said...

Haha Steven your a genius flipping that guy making him Spider Man :-)

Stephen Rader said...

Haunted Tuna - Well, "genius" might be stretching it... but of course, you're right! :)

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I'm with you on "the Hoff". Ewwwww!

Stephen Rader said...

Whim - Was "The Hoff" cool in KNIGHT RIDER or were we just young and uncritical?

(Were we ever uncritical?)

Maybe the Turbo Boost diverted our attention away from the idiot male lead with the bad 80's man-doo'...

Master Aaron said...

Davey Hasselhofster, or whatever his name is, happens to be a very nice boy. For those of us in the senior citizen category with parts that continue to work - and we have the science and we have the money so we are a, 'er, growing concern - he is still a pretty boy. Get up off My boy, child. Please don't make Me call you the truth.

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - The Hoff "happens to be a very nice boy?" WTF?!?!? How do you know?

And if you tell me that you had him one night at The Eagle, there is no God.

Master Aaron said...

Those eyes are that color even in bar light, my friend.

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - Thanks for the info on "The Hoff."

THIS JUST IN!: THE HOFF SUCKS COCK AND IS WAY INTO WATERSPORTS... AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SURFING WITH HIS BAYWATCH BUDDIES EITHER!!!