Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm 50!

Today, in a way, I'm 50. I love saying that!

It makes me feel like that Molly Shannon character on SNL, "Sally O'Malley," who keeps saying "I'm 50!" over and over at dance calls and auditions.

My favorite of her riffs of "I'm 50!" was when she looked right at the camera and said...

"Book 'em Dano, I'm Five-Oh!"

If I have to explain why that's funny, we can't date.

And by the by, "I'm" not 50.

Contrary to the belief that I'm so old, Alexander the Great once said I was, "a good fuck," I'm not 50.

But The Cat in the Hat IS 50 - - today!

Note to Nicole Kidman:
1) The Cat in the Hat has had no work done.
2) He was never married to Tom Cruise.
3) And he would never have made a movie as wretchedly heinous as BEWITCHED.
I'm just lettin' you know...

Here's the deal. Today, March 2nd, is Theodor Geisel's birthday.

Theodor Geisel = Dr. Seuss.

This article just dips a toe into how uber- cool all things Seuss were, are and will continue to be!
"It was his publisher who first involved Geisel in creating entertaining children's books with a limited vocabulary for beginning readers. In May 1954, Life magazine published a report about illiteracy among school children. Among the factors cited by the report was the fact that children were bored by the books that were available at the beginning reader level. His publisher sent Geisel a list of 400 words and challenged him to come up with a book that would use about 250 of the words. Geisel used 236 of the words for The Cat in the Hat, and it was an instant success."

Did you know that we have Prohibition and a "
drinking party" to thank for the name "Dr. Seuss?"

When young Theodor Geisel was at Dartmouth, he worked on THE JACK- O- LANTERN, a humor magazine at the college. He became it's editor- in- chief, but the school insisted he resign from the magazine when he was caught throwing a "drinking party" right smack dab in the middle of Prohibition - - you gotta love that!

From that point on, his work on THE JACK- O- LANTERN was signed "Seuss" - - his middle name and his mother's maiden name. The name "Dr. Seuss" came just a short while later.

And did you know that "Seuss" isn't pronounced like "goose" with an S?

With his German ancestry, Mr. Geisel pronounced his pen name "soice" and not "suice." This rhyme from one of his Dartmouth classmates proves it...

You're wrong as the deuce,
And you shouldn't rejoice.
If you're calling him Seuss,
He pronounces it Soice.

I guess I have to call my show SOICICAL THE MOICICAL from now on...

...which is odd, makes no sense whatsoever and I actually prefer over SEUSSICAL THE MUSICAL.

Look at me in that picture. Dear Lord. It's over for me, isn't it?


Master Aaron said...

Dear, DEAR "expletive deleted," you think it's humorous to write about Being Fifty because, (trumpets here) dum dumdum dum Dum DUUUU-U-M!, you're not. Call me when you get your first free copy of the AARP Magazine and let me hear those laughter bells peel. Being Fifty is realizing that farting is a way of life, and not simply a post-coital remembrance. Being Fifty is making peace with the fact that your bladder will now awaken well prior to your knees, so if you weren’t into watersports before, you’d better walk toward the Flexibility Light. Being Fifty is the year that a man realizes he needs the double truss - the balls hangs so low in the front and the ass hangs so low in the back, if one bends over suddenly the two now identically-sized sets can knock together like double-Clackers and cause one to fart oneself right off one's Dr. Shoal’s. But wait, I’m not quite ready to downshift from Rant to Sweet Daddy. I highly suggest, which is all I can do since OBVIOUSLY I “have no power here,” that you stop peppering your postings with statements that end in “we can’t date.” Stop the potential scare-off of the boyfriends. Hazing is Not Good College. Do it for Me. Do it for Wanda. Get a really great partner and watch your brother squirm. Being Fifty, I’m already too old to dance at your wedding. Let’s try to get the event up and running before I will be forced to wear Depends. No matter how much you iron ‘em, those things make you look like your ass is made of golf-ball material.

Ahem. Nice job on the Suess story. Hurray for Dr. G. Nice picture, your lower teeth look great.

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - Everything that you list about "being fifty" is hilarious and makes me laugh in places I didn't know I had.

Why, oh why, is everyone so damn concerned with me getting a boyfriend ASAP? I'll get one when I find the right one. I'm not going through another wrong one like I did with The Skank.

Isn't that picture from SEUSSICAL the best. Part crazy and part "I don't know what." I love it. :)

Master Aaron said...

Sniff. As if it's all about you. Sniff, sniff.

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - Well, I don't know if it's all "about" me, but I definitely have gotten quite a bit of it "in" me from time to time...