Saturday, May 24, 2008

Facebook in Reality

I slightly despise Facebook.

Last summer, my delightful and charming, 20 year old intern at Season of Concern was talking about Facebook. I told her that I wasn't a member and without thinking, she said...
"Yeah, you're too old."

Then, the realized what she had said and started backtracking, but I just laughed and said, "No, thank you. You're right and I need to know these things."

Sometime this past winter, one of our supporters at Season of Concern sent me an email inviting me to join Facebook, and since this person helps us raise a considerable amount of money, I felt that if I didn't join, it would appear rude. So, I joined. Oy...

I signed up and for longer than I would like to admit, I had absolutely no friggin' clue what was going on. Someone "Wrote on My Wall?!?" Someone "Poked" me? Someone is sending me "Karma?" Over the internet? What the fuck is going on?!?!?

I have friends who use their cell phones to update their status on Facebook. "So-and-so is eating a fancy dinner and loving it!" Or, "So-and-so is in line to buy a ticket to the new Indiana Jones movie." Like I give a fuck. Get a life.

I was sent over the edge this week when I was looking for information about my friend Page's death and someone wrote to me...

"Didn't you get the announcement of Page's death
that someone sent around on Facebook?"


Let the record show that when I die, if anyone decides to announce my death over Facebook, I will haunt your ass. And not Topper haunt your ass. I'm talking Poltergeist haunt your ass.

I saw this video a few weeks ago and I think it hysterically shows just how ridiculous this whole Facebook phenomenon has become. This is "Facebook in Reality."



P.S. Facebook is still a great way to find and catch up with old friends. It's the large, swimming pool-sized pits of bullshit that I can't stand. "Poke!"

9 comments:

Peter Mavrik said...

A very wise man once told me "On the internet you either evolve or become vestigial. Nobody wants to be an online appendix just lying around waiting to be removed"

For better or worse, social networking online can have an immensely positive bearing on business.

It ain't ideal, but really, what is?

Aaron said...

The difference is that in real life we can WORK towards "ideal," because we can be completely involved, whereas online, we're reduced to an icon and maybe an annoying sound or two. The Internet is a tool, and only a tool. It does not define us, or determine whether or not we get to "exist." It also does not replace our real lives (unless we're seriously maladjusted).

It can have a positive effect on business, but it can have a terrible effect on one's sanity if they start getting addicted to throwing sheep at people...

seriouslyflippant said...

I deleted over 70 "friends" this weekend. I'm tired of wasting so much time!

whimsical brainpan said...

I'll just announce your death on my MySpace page. :-P

Danifesto said...

At the risk of getting FLAMED (and hello- already a flamer so not too fussed about that at the moment) I want to say that I actually enjoy FB. Students add me and I severely limit what they have access to. I limit who can view my pictures. If I find someone to be mean and obnoxious I merely delete and them block them if it gets worse. I love playing chess and scrabble with my cousin, brother and BF. I love that I don't have to send a mass email of pictures. Love that I can post things and this eliminates stupid forwards that no one wants in their email boxes anyway. Yes there can be way too many stupid applications but you can always chose to delete them. Resistance is futile! Join the collective!

james said...

Oh my gawd, this made me laugh out loud! It's nice when you see cool, smart, with-it folks who could care less about the facebooking/spacing/friendstering thing.

Doug said...

I have loved using Facebook to locate old friends. I found a guy I haven't seen since summer camp... I had a huge crush on him. He's long since come out. He lives in Denver and happened to be passing through Chicago on business recently. We met up for cocktails and had a lovely romp in the sack.

So, for important reasons like this, Facebook is really handy and useful.

The games, the quizzes, the "are you hot?", the writing on the wall, the sending stupid things to people who aren't really your friends... well, that's all so much bullshit.

Meh.

michaelvankerckhove said...

Still don't have FB, but of course have Myspace. Am I uncool then? And poor poor Friendster while we're at it. Some day I may fall victim to FB, though. Now that American Idol is over.

Raven said...

I just don't get Facebook. Seriously. Elz loves it but then he likes the games which I can't stand. I joined because my friend invited me saying we could keep in touch this way! I haven't heard from her in almost half a year. I thinking on deleting my account cuz it's boring!