Tuesday, May 20, 2008

TMI Tuesday

An almost Wednesday version of TMI Tuesday...

1. How many credit cards do you own? Are they paid off?

Two. Are they paid off? I wish that they were paid off and I'm working on it. But it's slow going. Very slow going.

2. Can you be in love with someone you don't trust?

Never. Or I guess I should say, "Never again."

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, the souvenir mug and official tour poster signed by the entire cast.

A relationship without trust is like a production of Dreamgirls with a cast full of 22 year old, skinny blonde white girls. Sure, you could do it and it might come together, but really - - why bother?

3. Should prostitution be legal?

Absolutely. The way I see it, you could keep the sex workers and their clients safer and possibly could cut down the spread STD's.

It's going to happen regardless of laws or fines or prison time, so why not protect everyone involved and also divert the revenue stream to the sex workers? This might help them find other jobs and advance their education; help them leave the sex worker profession.

I'm sure this would bring up a million other issues, but honestly, why not shed our Puritanical ideas about sex in this country and try a different approach? Thoughts?

4. On a scale of 1-10, how good of a lover do you think you are? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)

I'd say a 7. Maybe a 6. Perhaps those I've slept with should answer this question.

Boys, what do you say? And remember, be kind with your rating. I know where you live.

5. What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

Referring to me as "fat ass," talking about how you used to keep your ex in line by "knocking him around when he needed it" and asking why I'm currently single by saying, "Wow, you must really be fucked up if you don't have a boyfriend by now."

Yes you guessed it, all of those things have happened to me on a first date. Luckily, all three didn't happen on the same first date. That would have killed me. Or him. Probably him.

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us about your worst date ever.

Well, it wasn't a first date (and I've talked about this before), but I remember dating a very good looking, younger guy about 10 years ago who broke up with me after a few months by saying...
"You're just not good looking enough to date."

But that was not the worst date. Believe it or not.

No, the worst date came about a year later when he started calling me and asking for a second chance with me. I wasn't too keen on jumping into a relationship or bed or anything at all with him after what he had said to me, but after a little while, we started dating again.

Almost immediately, he told me that he loved me. I would always tell him that I couldn't say "I love you" to him because he had hurt me so badly. And I didn't love him. Not at the time. I only say "I love you" when I mean it. Still, he kept telling me that he loved me and trying to get me to open up to him again. And he was persistent. And charming.

Months went by and we had a date scheduled for one weekday evening. I had had a horrible day for some reason that I now can't remember, so when I opened my door and saw him standing in the doorway with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, I started to cry.

I told him that I wasn't sure what I would do without him. I told him that I needed him. I told him that the flowers meant so much to me. More than he could know.

I told him that I loved him.

The next day, he called to tell me that he couldn't see me anymore because he couldn't date someone who looked like me. He needed to date someone better looking. Someone who looked like him.

That was the worst. And probably has kept me from opening up to more guys than I care to admit. All because of what one guy did to me. Twice.


Shirley Heezgay! said...


Just, holy shit on a stick! Mama put dimes on my eyes, I don't believe what I'm reading!

His name. Tell me his name. Shall I smack him for you, Stephen?

Anonymous said...

The guy was a jerk and you're well rid of him. There's no way to make a relationship with someone that shallow (not to mention stupid.) Just sayin'.

khbronson said...

Re your worst date....where is he so I can kill him!!!!!

Anatomicsd said...

Give me his name and I will arrange for his permanent removal.

If they legalize prostitution we won't have any scandal material for our politicians!

cb said...

Wow, you must be really REALLY fucked up if you don't have a guy by NOW! :-)

just me said...

Sounds to me like you're better off without him. He also sounds like an asshole. Unfortunately, I've encountered one or two of those myself.

A wonderful post, Stephen. I appreciate your honesty.

carlnepa said...

People say some ridiculous things to justify their own crappy behavior, don't they???? Sometimes we just need to call ourselves whatever we are; shallow, material, cruel..whatever. However, what you were thinking to see this guy again anyway? After wallowing in the gene pool of dating I decided they get one chance to screw me...No, most never got *that* chance...they stand me up, they're out, they lie to me, they're out, they're involved with someone else, they're out. Too brutal? Too bad, who needs more than one asshole anyway???
I hope you get a % of all the stuff I buy because of your website. I can't wait for my Evita t-shirt to get here.

unokhan said...

lawd have mercy on us all. perhaps time will be unkind to the cunt-o-tron, and quicklee

EMikeGarcia said...


And here I was thinking I had the market cornered on dating guys who's definition of love was "until I find someone cuter."

whimsical brainpan said...

Sweetie you know how much you mean to me and I say this with all the love in the world...

Damn you make my disaster of a love live look like a freakin' fairy tale!