Tuesday, November 20, 2007

TMI Tuesday

It's TMI Tuesday during the week of Thanksgiving, so you know what one of the questions is going to be, right?

1. what's the sexiest gesture a woman can make?

She can introduce me to her gay brother who thinks I'm hot, has penis like a python and says things like, "Who needs turkey on Thanksgiving. Let's say home and fuck."

Not that I don't find women sexy. I do. I just don't deign to know what a woman's sexiest gesture might be. For that, ask my father.

Of course, my father wouldn't think of a woman's sexiness in terms of "gesture." He'd probably just say "huge tits" and call it a day.

2. what are 3 inevitable things about you?

1) I live in chaos. I can try to categorize things, label my life, put everything in their proper drawer and color code my closet but at the end of the day, I thrive in chaos.

2) No matter what miracle product may hit the market, I am going to be bald for the rest of my life. And if you don't like bald men, you've obviously never had my freshly shaved head rub against your balls. Everybody comes back for that.

3) Before I die, I will move back to Tennessee. If something happens before I move back, I will be buried there. And if any of you bitches even THINK of burying me here in Chicago, I will haunt your asses. And it won't be like TOPPER. I'll be full-out POLTERGEIST!

3. what do you want . . . . now?

A boyfriend. And a best friend. Preferably, the same person.

4. what asset do you have besides the physical and the material?

"Besides the physical and the material?" You mean, I HAVE assets that are either physical or material? Who knew?

My asset, I believe, is my humor. I may go overboard at times, but I went from being a kid who wouldn't talk to anyone and who no one knew to finding my humor, finding my voice and finding my opinions. And with that came the ability to, little by little, not give a good goddamn what other people thought about me and my opinions.

Not caring what other people think is hard for everyone, but when you're a Southerner and an actor, it's nearly unheard of not to care if people like you or don't like you. But I'm getting there. Bit by bit.

5. describe a sexy mind.

Anyone who knows that fantasies are fantasies and allows sex to go wherever it wants to go without judgement or condescension.

And in my experience, it's always been the guys who look like they were members of their high school math club who have the sexiest minds.

If you've never had sex with someone you think of as a "geek," try it. Trust me. They will flat throw you down and take you to places you didn't know you could get to on a Sealy Posturepedic.

Being a comic book geek, I know this to be true. We're Number Two. We try harder.

Bonus (as in optional):What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

That's a toughie this Thanksgiving. I'm not in a good place emotionally, so it's hard to count my blessings this year.

But I have blessings. They are my friends who fill my life with light. They are my family who fills my life with love and laughter. And I am also blessed to be able to do what I fell in love with doing when I was 19 years old. Acting, singing, performing.

I'm thankful for that.


Shirley Heezgay! said...

Haven't done this in awhile...Let's examine, shall we:

1. "Who needs turkey on Thanksgiving. Let's say home and fuck." Very hysterical, and I agree. I'd still get that turkey, though, right?

2. It must feel like velvet.

3. God Willing.


5. I think there's nothing hotter than a geeky, preppy animal. They DO try harder. I should know.

Bonus: Nice answer...no matter how hard things seem, there is always something! As Patti LaBelle said, "Don't block the blessings!"

Anonymous said...

5. Totally agree. My biggest crush ever was my algebra professor in college. He had the black framed glasses AND the pocket protector...swear to God. But I thought he was the hottest thing since sliced bread. I wanted him soooo bad...um, I think I need a glass of water. Sorry. Anyway, I concur.

Rob said...

5. OMG...do Tax Geeks count? If I'd had only known, I'd have been going to the bars with my Internal Revenue Code instead of wearing an uncomfortable tight T-shirt. Alas, there is probably a 'loophole' or 'exemption' that prevents tax geeks from being sexy.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

Rob, I am totally into tax geeks, especially if they can get me a refund!

Aaron said...

# 5: so true! My favorites have been the so-called "geeks." They let me do ANYTHING (within reason, of course)...;-)

Stephen Rader said...

Shirley Heezgay - I love your responses to my TMI's. Absolute heaven! You still get the turkey. and it IS like velvet. :)

Dana - Pocket protector = "Do me on the linoleum. Love me those science boys.

Rob - I'm with Dana on this one. A hot tax man who can get me a refund. Yum. I'm talking MARRIAGE yum!

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - Trust me, when it comes to the so-called "geeks," the limits are few and far between. God bless them!

Polt said...

Um, where does the line begin for those who want to experience the "shaved head/on balls" thing???

i want to be first...I'll shove that closet at the front into the street...


Mark in DE said...

Great answers! You are so entertaining, Stephen Rader!


Bunny said...

I totally agree re: geeks - they try harder and they've often got something very surprising hidden in those high-water pants! I've always had a thing for the dorky ones myself.

Excellent answers. Hope you find your way to a better place emotionally very soon. I'm trying to find it too . . . let me know if you get there.

Happy TMI and Happy Thanksgiving!

JOE * to * HELL said...

its all so very fucking hallmark card.

Bob said...

Happy thanksgiving! Gobble gobble, etc.

dirk.mancuso said...

As if you weren't funny and adorable enough, your answer to #3 just cemented it.

Stephen Rader said...

Polt - For the shaved head on balls treatment, just take me to dinner. Or say I'm hot. Or just say, "Hey, fag, rub your head on my balls." That'll do it.

Mark in DE - Thank you! I appreciate your kind words.

Bunny - Here's to you and I getting out of our funks and getting back to a good place. Soon. :)

joe*to*hell - Yeah, and you know you love it, sexy man!

Bob - Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!!!

Dirk - Thank you. Funny and adorable is exactly how I would describe you. Have a great Thanksgiving.

Catty Bitch said...


I'm around. If you're not in a good place, let's have a nosh and talk. Let a bitch be there for you, OK?

Stephen Rader said...

Catty Bitch - Thank you. I will definitely take you up on that. The nosh part is being taken care of with Thanksgiving being tomorrow, but if things get dark, a nosh and a talk with you sound like the perfect remedy. Thank you!