It's TMI Tuesday during the week of Thanksgiving, so you know what one of the questions is going to be, right?
1. what's the sexiest gesture a woman can make?
She can introduce me to her gay brother who thinks I'm hot, has penis like a python and says things like, "Who needs turkey on Thanksgiving. Let's say home and fuck."
Not that I don't find women sexy. I do. I just don't deign to know what a woman's sexiest gesture might be. For that, ask my father.
Of course, my father wouldn't think of a woman's sexiness in terms of "gesture." He'd probably just say "huge tits" and call it a day.
2. what are 3 inevitable things about you?
1) I live in chaos. I can try to categorize things, label my life, put everything in their proper drawer and color code my closet but at the end of the day, I thrive in chaos.
2) No matter what miracle product may hit the market, I am going to be bald for the rest of my life. And if you don't like bald men, you've obviously never had my freshly shaved head rub against your balls. Everybody comes back for that.
3) Before I die, I will move back to Tennessee. If something happens before I move back, I will be buried there. And if any of you bitches even THINK of burying me here in Chicago, I will haunt your asses. And it won't be like TOPPER. I'll be full-out POLTERGEIST!
3. what do you want . . . . now?
A boyfriend. And a best friend. Preferably, the same person.
4. what asset do you have besides the physical and the material?
"Besides the physical and the material?" You mean, I HAVE assets that are either physical or material? Who knew?
My asset, I believe, is my humor. I may go overboard at times, but I went from being a kid who wouldn't talk to anyone and who no one knew to finding my humor, finding my voice and finding my opinions. And with that came the ability to, little by little, not give a good goddamn what other people thought about me and my opinions.
Not caring what other people think is hard for everyone, but when you're a Southerner and an actor, it's nearly unheard of not to care if people like you or don't like you. But I'm getting there. Bit by bit.
5. describe a sexy mind.
Anyone who knows that fantasies are fantasies and allows sex to go wherever it wants to go without judgement or condescension.
And in my experience, it's always been the guys who look like they were members of their high school math club who have the sexiest minds.
If you've never had sex with someone you think of as a "geek," try it. Trust me. They will flat throw you down and take you to places you didn't know you could get to on a Sealy Posturepedic.
Being a comic book geek, I know this to be true. We're Number Two. We try harder.
Bonus (as in optional):What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?
That's a toughie this Thanksgiving. I'm not in a good place emotionally, so it's hard to count my blessings this year.
But I have blessings. They are my friends who fill my life with light. They are my family who fills my life with love and laughter. And I am also blessed to be able to do what I fell in love with doing when I was 19 years old. Acting, singing, performing.
I'm thankful for that.