Monday, November 05, 2007

Pie Hole

Last night, before we hit "Showtunes at Sidetrack," my good friend Kevin Grubb and I shared a pizza at one of my favorite pizza joints, Pie Hole.

Their ad should read, "Come for the Pizza, Stay for the Crazy" because while we were there, our ultra-cool server - - a tattooed lesbian with a faux-hawk wearing a t-shirt that said "It's Not Easy Being Easy" - - kicked out a drunk gay guy who then called her a bitch 482 times, demanded his money back and then threw it in her face, which did nothing but make her laugh.

I adore her and now hope to be her.

Right before we left, she was serving a pizza to four homos behind us and when one of them asked for a fork, she said...

"Yeah, usually the bottoms want silverware."

If I don't find a man soon, I'm going to ask her to marry me.

19 comments:

Mike said...

I totally use my hands, even when it's deep dish. Does that make me versatile after all? Yeah, probably not.

Aaron said...

With deep dish, you sort of NEED silverware, because it's so full of sauce and stuff and you'll wear most of it if you don't use a fork.

Somebody should do a sociological study to see how many people who order deep dish are actually bottoms. Maybe "deep dish" is some kind of obvious-sounding code...

Stephen Rader said...

Mike - If you're like me, that makes you "versatile," spelled "B-O-T-T-O-M." :)

Aaron - Deep Dish ABSOLUTELY equals "bottom." I think you're on to something here!!

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

LOL! I like that woman. :-)

Stephen Rader said...

Whim - You'll have to meet her when you visit. I would LOVE for you to visit me in Chicago. We would paint this town red!

Polt said...

Get in line, man. I've got a man, but I still want to marry her!!! :)

HUGS...

Stephen Rader said...

Polt - I'll fight ya for her!!!! :)

supertiff said...

is there a hamburger mary's in chicago?
i just ate at one in denver and it was the best hamburger i ever had in my whole entire life.

also, the gay bartender bought all my drinks and told me i was pretty...in my opinion, this may be the most meaningful compliment i will ever receive.

i'm considering packing up my stuff and moving right into that restaurant.

mrpeenee said...

If you don't marry her first, I want her. Maybe we could all get married and have a wacky sit-com.

Stephen Rader said...

supertiff - There IS a Hamburger Mary's here in Chicago and the first time I walked in there, a man rushed up to me and said, "Stephen Rader! You shouldn't have to wait for a table! You're a great actor and FAMOUS!" And he meant it. I was stunned.

I'll be moving into the Chicago restaurant as well.

Now, who are you, supertiff? And if you have a blog, how do I get to it?

mrpeenee - I love the "all get married" idea. Let the wacky sit-com BEGIN!!!! God knows the networks could use a good one these days. :)

supertiff said...

actually, it's very easy to find me:
supertiff.com

whee!
as for the 'who am i' question: i'm still working on that one.

tiffany said...

although, i suppose if you wanted a blogger profile or something, you'd have to click my name on this comment.
it will take you to my old blog.

i think.
maybe.

Stephen Rader said...

supertiff - I found you today right after I asked this question! Just call me Jessica Fletcher. :)

Steven said...

I'll definitely have to make a stop there soon! Thanks for the "recommendation." However, I may be a bit too timid for that server. At least I'll know who I got. :-)

Stephen Rader said...

Steven - If you go, let me know. I'll pop over and have a slice with you. I live half a block away!!!

Pie Hole said...

Ha! That was Rockstar Rachel, our loose cannon! Not everyone appreciated her genius but I'm glad some of us do! Send her some love... www.myspace.com/rockstar068

Stephen Rader said...

pie hole - Rockstar Rachel is aptly named! I love her and definitely appreciate her genius. :)

Rockstar Rachel said...

Steven, I accept your marriage proposal with a proper ring ofcourse. You Steven, have officially been "favorited" in my blogs to read daily!! (right next to Perez Hilton ofcourse, you know every gay needs their Britney fix)
Much love and thank you for the props!! I DO I DO

Stephen Rader said...

rockstar rachel - What kind of ring do you want, baby? You deserve the best!!

Thanks for "favoriting" me. I'm beside Perez Hilton, huh? I love it. I'll look SO friggin' thin beside him!!

Hope all is well and thanks for one of the biggest belly laughs I had had in weeks when you said, "
"Yeah, usually the bottoms want silverware." That is an instant classic.