Thursday, August 02, 2007

"Maxine Funny"

My mother just sent me a fax.

A fax featuring her favorite cartoon character - - Maxine, the bitchy, old Hallmark lady.

Correction: It's not a cartoon. It's a "funny." Because on the subject line of her fax coversheet, Mama wrote, "Maxine funny."

Since my mother doesn't usually talk like Frankenstein, Tonto or Captain Caveman, I assume that the verb of this sentence isn't missing.

Therefore, "Maxine" is describing "funny."

Sort of like when my grandmother used to call my comic books my "funny books" back in the day.

Anyway, also on the coversheet, my Mama has written, "I thought of you on this one."

The faxed copy of the "funny" has Maxine sitting on a bus or subway train seat.



The caption reads...


"The only thing wrong with public transportation is that it involves the public."


Now, why would that remind my mother of me?

9 comments:

Aaron said...

I was reminded of that sentiment during my cattle run--er, I mean commute--on the 147 bus this morning...

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - It's not the public I dislike so much; it's their public phone calls discussing life, love and their last bowel movement that I detest.

These days, if they're really talking in their outside voice, I just close my book and start at them. Not in a mean way. Just in a way that says, "I'm paying attention to every single word that comes out of your mouth." Usually, they lower their voice... or flip me off. :)

khbronson said...

I am loving your mama more and more!

My mama used to call them funny books too, back when we lived "down south".

And I'm so pleased to know that I'm not the only one whose pet peeve is people talking on the phone loud enuf for everyone on the bus/el car to hear! Guess what ya'll....I don't care about your love life, what your other half did to piss you off, etc. etc. You're just not that important in my world! LOL

Aaron said...

If they flip me off, I'll flip them back off in return. Smiling the whole time. (It's a skill. I learned it in high school.)

Stephen Rader said...

khbronson & Aaron - I read somewhere that the thing to do with loud cell phone talkers on public trans is to listen to their conversation and then, if you're lucky enough for them to end the call while you're on, you go up and ask them a very personal question about what they were talking about. Something like...

"You said your ex gave you an STD. Do you still have it? Cause I know a great doctor..."

Master Aaron said...

Dear, dear Stephen, do you remember when we first met each other and I told you that I didn't really care for people, particularly, in a general sense, that I found them mostly annoying unless, of course, I was sexing them up or they were paying to watch me in a show of some kind, and doing so respectfully, full of the realization of my superior intellect and talent, and responding only when appropriate, and then in such as way as to be perfectly in sync with my needs? Do you remember the look of shock on your face, expressing sheer horror that such a sentiment could be expressed in a calm, matter-of-fact tone, (rendered all the more effective when produced through a Kentucky/West Virgina drawl), presented as truth despite the complete lack of PC-ness? Well, come to Daddy, sugar, I just KNEW you were one of us! ...now I want to know where your Momma got that picture of me...

Stephen Rader said...

Master Aaron - You did find me. You know I was one of the few, the proud, the "Ones Who Don't Give A Good Goddamn." How blessed I am to have met you in... where did we meet, anyway? :)

Master Aaron said...

Initial read of Collette Collage. And then nothing else nice happened there. You see, it involved people...

Stephen Rader said...

Master Aaron - My God! We proved our point of disliking people - - as early as our first encounter!!! We ARE good!!!