Monday, August 06, 2007

Desperately Seeking Campaign Funds

Well, The Onion has done it again. Check out this headline...


However, in my online research I have found that The Onion is slightly late in it's coverage of the McCain bus-and-truck tour. That story is SO "last hour."

You see, due to the problems with Greyhound, McCain is now hitchhiking from town to town - - a rugged and also cost-efficient mode of transportation.

"I need to get to Exit 12. Anybody goin' to Exit 12?"

McCain is doing quite well hitching from truckers. He's even learned a few tricks "on the road." Here he is promoting his new "McCain Sucks For Bucks" fundraising drive.

"Sucky, sucky? Five dollar?"

But oddly enough, that's not his real money maker. Here's McCain doing his now-famous impersonation of Katharine Hepburn. This one's always good for a few fives and tens when the hat is passed.

"Norman, the loons, the loons! Lion in winter, pussy in summer! The loons!"

Hey, McCain. That's great! Can you do a PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN impersonation for us?

"Arrggghhh. I be Johnny Depp! Give me all yer booty fer me campaign! Arrggghhh!"

Desperate times call for desperate campaigners.

*Special Thanks for Alex for stealing her "Lion in winter, pussy in summer" joke.

2 comments:

Aaron said...

I wondered where you got that "pussy in summer" joke. I thought to myself, SURELY demure little you couldn't have thought that up on your own!

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - In my life, I have been called many, many things, but "demur" has never been one of them. Thank you!!