Friday, August 31, 2007

HERE YOU COME AGAIN: Dolly vs. Clay

I just found this and there are so many things wrong with it, I can't quite sit still.

This is Clay Aiken singing his version of a song made popular by Dolly Parton, HERE YOU COME AGAIN.



I chose that clip because it's short. I couldn't bear to listen to his ENTIRE version of that song.

What's wrong with it? Well... let's see...

1) It sucks.

2) He's in what Sally Mayes refers to as "Singer Land." He's up on stage and singing and he's so in love with the sound of his own fucking voice that he isn't even LOOKING at the people in the audience. He's looking OVER the people in the audience. Or THROUGH them. Do us all a favor, Clay: if you're going to perform like this, STAY HOME AND SING IN FRONT OF A MIRROR, you narcissistic fuck.

3) It really sucks.

4) Check out the untucked button-down shirt. Know who else used to (and probably still does) dress like that? My ex-bf - - Skanky Bob. And just like Clay, he dressed like that for a reason. Check out Clay when he turns to the side. Clay dresses like that because he, like my ex, is a "Fat Skinny Guy." Gross.

5) It severely sucks.

HERE YOU COME AGAIN was the first big pop-crossover hit for Dolly Parton. She recorded it and that entire album in L.A. - - far away from the country music capitol, Nashville, TN. She was highly criticized for this move, but as Dolly said, "I'm not leaving Country behind, I'm taking it with me."

The success of the song catapulted Dolly into the pop music scene and soon after into movie success with 9 TO 5. When talking about the success of HERE YOU COME AGAIN, Dolly likes to tell the following story...

"People would say to me, 'Well, a monkey could have a hit with that song,' and I would say, ' Well, a monkey did!'"

However, after watching Clay's version, I beg to differ with Dolly. Not just ANYONE can have a hit with HERE YOU COME AGAIN. Clay has proved that.

Yeah, Clay, I said it. Suck it, Clay... and don't you DARE come near my cock!

Check out Dolly's version of the song in a fabulous montage of Dolly pics - - check out the wigs, boys - - CHECK OUT THE WIGS! This is how it's DONE!

15 comments:

Michael said...

Note to self: NEVER wear button-down shirt untucked around Stephen.

Stephen Rader said...

Michael - You can wear whatever you want around me, sexy. I like you and YOU are talented... unlike Clay and Skanky Bob...

Anonymous said...

Nope. I'm going to go with Clay. Sorry. I like him. The song is not supposed to be Dolly's version.

Anonymous said...

Sorry that you're such a stick in the mud that you can't appreciate a song not being a carbon copy of the original, Stephen. Not that it's easy to tell how the song sounds anyway, what with it being mostly drowned out with screams from an audience who is obviously a lot more able to appreciate change than you are.

Alex said...

For a raging Homo, Clay sure dresses like a farm boy.

And that voice? Good Lord. You could drive a truck through that vibrato.

...or should I say...tractor?

lance's friend said...

Hey, anonymous -
It's Stephen's blog. He can write his opinions here (no matter how vulgar or redneck). That's kinda the point.

Lance Noe said...

Ok, all I have to say about it is this...

Clay don't look like he has missed many southern breakfasts since losing on idol.

AND I don't respect any comments from anyone who hids behind the moniker "anonymous". If you are going to be rude and spiteful, at least have the decency to say it a southern accent. That way it does SOUND rude and spiteful just - well... SOUTHERN!

Stephen Rader said...

Anonymous 1 & 2 - Ummm... I'll allow Mr. Lance Noe's & Mr. Lance Noe's Friends comments to speak for me on this one... you spine-less critic who can't seem to type his or her name and won't stand behind, beside or in front of your opinions. Wait a second... is this Karl Rove?!?

Alex - Haven't you heard? "Farm boy" is the new Closet Fag Couture!!

Lance's Friend - "Vulgar and Redneck." I think I just found the title of my memoirs.

Lance - Any Southerner worth their salt would have the decency to SIGN THEIR NAME to a comment, don't you think?!? But I can take the E-Bitchslap. Hell, Southerners survived Sherman's March - - we can definitely handle The Wrath of the Claymates!!! (Or is the Gaymates?)

Dovajorth said...

Unfortunate belly on Clay. And like Michael, I'll be thinking twice before doing the button-down un-tucked thing.

This has nothing to do with Clay covering a Dolly classic. He can sing what he wants. (I won't criticize that-- although the spunky, up-tempo original defined an era for many of us... this ain't a ballad, Clay!) The performance and his look are shiteous and fugly.

P.S.-- Are those bleachers in the background? Playing low-rent venues of late, huh, Clay?

Stephen Rader said...

Dovajorth - I know!! He went from selling out 10,000 seat theatres to performing in my high school gym?!?! WTF!?!?!?!?

lance's friend said...

I want to be the first to read "Vulgar and Redneck". It's sure to be a bestseller. When does it come out? :)

lance's friend said...

Oh, by the way, Anonymous, I realize you also have the right to your opinions on Clay Aiken as well. It's probably just safer to express them on a Pro-Clay Aiken website as opposed to a Pro-Dolly site. (I think it's a red state/blue state thing.)

Stephen Rader said...

Lance's Friend - "Vulgar and Redneck" comes out on the same day that Larry Craig comes out. Oddly enough...

Oh and the "Red State / Blue State" comparison - - sheer perfection!

P.S. When are you going to start your own blog? I know Lance and I would be reading it EVERY day!!

lance's friend said...

I'm only clever playing off other people. I'm not at all clever on my own.

Stephen Rader said...

Lance's Friend - I heartily disagree! You're clever always!!!

Besides - - you already started your blog!!! WOOHOO!!!! I must have sensed it or something!!! I love it!!!