Tuesday, August 21, 2007

"I Need You For My Film"

I didn't know about this. How did I not know about this?!?

Rob Marshall - - the genius who was robbed of a Best Director Oscar for his work on CHICAGO - - is bringing NINE to the big screen!

For those of you who don't know, NINE if the 1982 Tony Award-winning musical version of Fellini's 8 1/2 with music and lyrics by Maury Yeston and a book by Arthur Kopit.

Of course, those of you who don't know, probably don't care, but trust me on this one: Rob Marshall directing a musical starring one tall, dark and smoking hot man alongside SCORES of beautiful women - - it's a Showtune Queens Paradise!

And the while Marshall's "first picks" for the lead female roles are sexy enough to make a straight man buy a ticket to a musical on Opening Night, check out the man who's been offered the lead role of Guido Contini...

Javier Bardem.


What I wouldn't give to play Carla... writhe all over that man and sing...

"Who's not wearing any clothes? I'm not!"

P.S. My buddies at Porchlight Music Theatre are producing NINE this coming season. After their incredible success with RAGTIME this year, you definitely should make plans to check out their production of NINE

Perhaps Porchlight might cast a shaved-headed blogger as Guido Contini. I know I can pass for "nearing 40" (don't say it...); it's the "Italian" part that my smooth-chested-self will have to work on!


Lance Noe said...

Since you seem to love Nine, I have a story, ok stories.

In the original cast of NINE was a lady named Shelly Birch. She sang "Unusal Way" Well... she is from orlando and moved back there in 2002. I was in a play with this crazy ass bitch in 2003.

Girl, that bitch is insane! I love her but she is NUTS.

story 1: there was a 21 year old hotty in our cast and she looked at him one night backstage and said, "god what i wouldn't give to bend over this piece of wood and have you shove your cock in me!"

story 2: she showed up in our dressing room one night, with out a bra and only panties with a question to ask me about 1776.

story 3: she was on stage, ON STAGE! oh yeah, i should mention, this was a childrens show, and she is about to sing a song and she scooted forward and her dress scooted up with her. the man on the front row noticed and she noticed he noticed and said and i quote, "hey mister, this is a childrens show, you shouldn't be looking at MY HOOCH!"

STORY 4: same scene different night, the little girl playing the lead was on stage her mrs. certifiable and screws up her line. crazy looks at the child and says, completely out of character, "don;t worry muchkin they don't know you fucked up."

story 5: opening of act 2, party scene at the barn dance, yes the barn dance, i am on top of a platform and cuckoo for cocoa puffs walks out and up to me, puts her hand on my crotch and says into a hot mic, "looks like your packing a big one in that hoster tonight!" and begins to sing!

Story 6: after show met and greet. one of the biggest agents in town comes to see the show. the deranged diva walks up to him and says "if you sign me you'll find out that singing and acting are not my only talents." then she licked her lips

story 7: backstage ready to enter, mic on, "my pussy itches!"

THE BITCH IS CRAZY! but she CAN sing!

Michael said...

The odds of YOU getting cast in NINE are as good as the odds of ME getting cast in NINE. And I mean that in the nicest, cattiest way!

Master Aaron said...

Gents, let's make a pact: We attend opening night of the PL Nine together and sit in the first row in red tee-shirts that say, "I'm not Guido."

Lance gives good story. Has to be said.

Stephen Rader said...

Lance - You are brilliant. Simply brilliant.

Michael - Anything is possible, baby. Anything.

Master Aaron - You're on!!!!!