TMI Tuesday #7. And before you read any further, you should know that whoever came up with the questions this week seriously needs to get laid - - big time! For example...
1. What’s the deal with blue balls?
See what I mean? The TMI writer is hardcore horny and doing a lame-assed Seinfeld imitation. Like THAT ever got ANYONE laid. Oy...
What's the deal with blue balls? Well, let's see... hmmm... oh, yeah... they hurt like a MoFo, that's the deal!
Now, get down there and finish the job. Use puppets and Silly String if you have to, but let's make it to the "Happy Ending" already! I'm not laying here for my health, you know!!!
2. What is the hottest vehicular sex scene in a movie?
I hate to say it because it stars Tom "Closet Craz-ay" Cruise, but...
That scene in RISKY BUSINESS with young Tom and Rebecca De Mornay having sex on the EL at night is the hottest!
And since I live in Chicago, it's tempting...
Ever so tempting to try and... recreate...
3. Strap-on? yes, no, give, receive?
One look at my "Toy Box" - - okay, it's more of a "Toy Closet" - - and a question like this is easily answered.
Not that I have a strap-on in there - - I'm not that much of a lesbian Dominatrix... yet... - - but anything that adds to the fun, I say "Bring it!!"
Bring two if they're small.
So, the answer is: Yes. Give. Receive. Request. Demand. Now!
4. What is the average penis length?
One and one half inches shorter than mine.
5. How do you stimulate his prostate? Guys, do you like it?
How do I stimulate his prostate? With anything long and cylindrical that I can get my hands on!!
Yes, for certain men, this does include the occasional Extra Large Thermos.
Do I like it? Baby, pack a lunch and stay in there for the day!!
Note: The "pack a lunch and stay in there for the day" part is where the Thermos comes in very handy.
Bonus (as in optional): Confession Tuesday... tell me a secret!
Okay, here's my little secret: I'm blonde.
No, it's true. Check it out...
Nothing says "Future Homosexual of America" quite like white knee socks with brown dress shoes.
Add the canary yellow shorts with matching v-neck pullover and you can spot my Kinsey number a mile away.
Oh, I miss my blonde hair.
Hell, I miss my hair.