...or rather, I was "enjoying the view" over at WetBoxerGuy and scrolled down to this picture of not "an" underwear model - - "THE" underwear model who is not only hotter than a 4 dollar Prada bag, but also happens to be my one-and-only soul mate (That's right - - I called dibs on him, so take a psychic message from Dionne Warwick and "Walk On By")...
...wearing the Dragon Brief from Papi, and I immediately was reminded of my newest and strangest piece of bad, public behavior.
The same thing happens on a daily basis. I see a hot man - - pretty much any age, but usually it's a big, hot and handsome, hairy hunk of man meat - - and before my brain can send a "Don't say it, Queen!" message to my mouth, each and every time, I immediately blurt out the same two-word phrase... loudly...
I'm not making this up. I do this. A lot. Honestly.
And my voice transforms into this bizarre accent as I'm saying it.
It's sort of a cross between Jessica Rabbit and one of "Girls from Mt. Pilot" - - the one who says, "Hello, doll."
Yeah, it sounds like that.
Not exactly sexually enticing.
Let's face it, this little involuntary vocal impulse is... well...
- Bizarre? Yes.
- Frightening to children and passersby? Definitely.
And yes, you guessed it. When I saw the "Papi" picture, I did it again. I said, "Hello, Daddy." Out loud. To no one. As I sat here at my desk drinking my morning 2 liter of Diet Coke.
However, I looked up the word "papi," and The World According to Wiki declares "papi" to be the plural form of "papa."
So, does that mean I get TWO of this Dragon Brief-wearing bad boy?!?
And if the answer is "yes," don't even think about it. I'm not sharing either one of them.
Trust me. I definitely have some openings where they can... ahem... fit.
Besides, if they keep me busy at home, I won't be out walking the streets of Chicago yelling "Hello, Daddy" at every Tom, Harry and Dick.
Q: Is that the first stage of tourette's syndrome or am I just a little overdue to get laid? Hmmm...
P.S. Hottie-Patottie Papi Model (say that three times fast and you'll master the art of cunnilingus) is DEFINITELY My New Imaginary Boyfriend!