Wednesday, April 16, 2008

How Big Am I? I'm 144, Baby

I saw the "What Is Your Sexual I.Q." quiz over at Life and Times of a Guy and when I saw his score - - an incredibly impressive 157 - - curiosity got the best of me.

Was I that sexually smart? What if I took the quiz and found out that I my sexual I.Q. and George W.'s current approval rating are actually the same number?!?

That would mean that all of those men that I've slept with from birth to now...

...and trust me, the number is either impressive or shocking, depending on your sexuality, promiscuity and your classification as either a Democrat or a Republican...

...that me scoring with all of those men had nothing to do with my knowledge of how to breath through my nose, loosen my jaw and keep my teeth from touching any skin, while simultaneously bobbing my head up and down, generating just enough (but not too much) saliva, spelling out the alphabet with my tongue and making sure that the whole operation looks effortless, incredibly enjoyable and something I could continue doing for the next four to six hours.

No, a low sexual I.Q. would mean that I scored with all of those men out of sheer luck. Or pity. Or some horrific combination of the two.

It would also mean that I would have to buy and might possibly have to actually read Kim Catrall's book, Sexual Intelligence. Dear sweet Jesus...

Happily, that is not the case. And while I didn't match nor did I surpass Uprightguy's sexual I.Q., my number ain't nothing to sneeze at neither...





You have a Sexual IQ of 144
When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends.

'What is your Sexual IQ?' at QuizUniverse.com

Isn't the language of the 21st century wonderful?

It took that careful combination of sentences to politely describe someone who members of my family, as little as ten years ago, would have simply referred to with one simple word: "Slut."

16 comments:

Polt said...

Luck or pity? Yep, sounds like most of my fucks. :)

HUGS....

cb said...

Only 144?? well, I guess I know what you are (and AREN'T) doing...

emeraldcityguy said...

A slut is anyone who's getting more than you are...

Project Christopher said...

I got a 157 also! I think if they'd had a question like
- Do you own a sling?
or
- is your sling leather in need of re-tacking due to use?

I might have broken 200.... of course I could not answer yes to EITHER of those questions..... :)

Romach said...

Thanks for posting that buddy, all good fun. I have put it on my blog too. I am shocked at the amount of people that don't know what "snowballing" is lol

Stephen Rader said...

polt - I doubt you need either luck or pity to score with any man, sexy.

cb - Yep, it's obvious isn't it? See below for details.

emeraldcityguy - Amen to that! Truer words were never spoken.

chris - Okay, now you're just bragging. And how can your sling be over-used - - I've never been in it! :)

romach - Believe it or not, I did not know what snowballing was. Now I do. Which of course means that my education is complete.

Scooter said...

I got my score...and I don't think I can post it. Yikes.

Anonymous said...

This test, while fun, is FAR too easy. We need to form a committee to design a more PROBING exam. And then we need to find a way to charge proud sluts to take it. Because this is AMERICA, PEOPLE! ...I need a cocktail...

Michael said...

I got 138. And I am SHOCKED you didn't get 274.

Lance Noe said...

There is something wrong with that calculator because

I BET YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!

160~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brent said...

I'm proud to say that I have taken the exam and that I've scored a 142. I wonder what questions/answers bumped you 2 points ahead of me. Hmmmmm.

McCool said...

157 here and i agree with anonymous -- too short and they didn't even ask if you knew what feltching, spit-roasting, dirty sanchez or many many others are...

Mark in DE said...

WTF? It seems that everyone who takes this quiz gets a similar score, ranking them 'super geniuses'. Personally, I have a lot more knowledge of stuff (thanks to porn) than I have experience, though I am also a 'super genius'.

Mark :-)

whimsical brainpan said...

I got a 144 as well. No way it has anything to do with the sex ed we got. ;-)

UprightGuy said...

That's right. just ask my date last night. Super Genius!

Palm Springs Savant said...

OH MY GOSH STEPHEN, I scored a 160! I thought everything I know I learned from you????