Because if I had, I would have known that today is my friend Chris' birthday.
You know Chris. He's the blogger behind As Seen From Up Here...
And Chris, speaking of "the blogger behind," wouldn't it be lovely if this genetic lottery winner was the man giving you your birthday spankings tonight?
Or better yet, remember that commercial asking "How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
Well, what a wonderful birthday it would be if your goal this evening was to find out how many licks and bites it takes to make your way through that cake to get to... the...
Well sure, after all those steroids he's taken, his penis would probably make a baby gherkin look like the Hindenburg by comparison, but remember...
Madonna is apparently crazy in love with A-Rod and A-Rod's steroid-shrunken "a-rod." And you know, you'd think that size would REALLY matter to the Material Girl, considering all the added wear and tear she's put her stuff through over the years, but I guess not.
I can't wait for the Madge & A-Rod homemade "stolen" porn dvd. I see it as A Star is Born meets The Graduate combined with Hotdog Thrown Down a Hallway. That would be funny, right Chris?
Chris knows the funny. We met in a standup comedy class - - the only two gay boys in a sea a straight "bros." After a few minutes of trying to figure out how we knew each other, we laughed our asses off when we realized that we knew each others' Manhunt pictures. It was a great way to begin a comedy class and Chris was a great class partner. He's so funny.
He's also uber-talented, sexy, smart, an event planning genius and a fundraising guru. Chris is the man who suggested that Season of Concern form a team in the AFC's AIDS Walk. In the 3 years since, our AIDS Walk teams have raised over $37,000 for SOC. We have Chris to thank for every dime of that.
So, go show him so love - - on his blog or live and in person. And if you're showing him some love "live and in person," somebody better take some pictures, damn it! So we can post them on Facebook. Happy Birthday!