Michael, Michael, Michael...
(Mr. Phelps, if you're nasty)
Some random asshole with a camera phone captures this picture of you sucking on a bong and now you're in the thick of it.
All those fans, all those sponsorships. I guess we'll soon see what is more powerful - - their disdain for drugs and drug users or their love of you and your "Get Him a Band-Aid, Cause He's CUT!" abs.
But really, you don't need that bong, sweetie.
I mean, if you need something else in your mouth to help you practise your breath control, I'm here for you.
And I'm much thicker than that bong. Just sayin'...