Tuesday, January 08, 2008

TMI Tuesday

Today is a full day: New Hampshire caucus, Elvis' birthday and TMI Tuesday. WOOHOO!

1) Do you have/ever had any dating or sex superstitions? (Wear 'lucky jeans' on first date, always light a vanilla candle, etc.) If so, what are they?

Nope, I don't have any. With sex, if you're up for it, I'm usually game for just about anything you want to put on the table.

Or the bed. Or on top of the refrigerator. Or in the small clearing in the middle of the park. For, you see, I am a slut.

And I also don't have any when it comes to dating. Maybe that's why I'm still single.

Anybody got any lucky jeans or vanilla candles I can borrow?


2) If you were stranded on the old deserted island, and a genie appeared who could only grant you one wish -- to bring one of the following people to join you, who would it be? - your spouse/significant other - an unrequited love or some person you've had a crush on - an old/past love - your best friend

First of all, I would tell the genie that he or she is a bitch for just giving one wish. What happened? Has the world suffered so much under the Bush regime that we don't even get the standard THREE WISHES anymore?!?

But with just one wish for someone to join me on a deserted island, I wouldn't choose anyone from the list above. I would choose my mother. I can't think of a more loving, caring, compassionate, giving, hilarious, funny, sweet soul to spend my days with.

Plus, she can cook.


3) Tell us "weather or not" you're in the mood -- how does rain, snow, sleet, scorching heat, sweltering humidity etc. affect your libido.

The hotter it gets, the more of a whore I become.

When it gets hot enough for me to go commando without fear of my boys getting so cold they end up somewhere around my left lung, no one on the street is safe. No one. Not even women.

4) Are you a crying drunk, an angry drunk, a 'I'm drunk, let's screw' sort of a drinker? (And, if you do not drink -- which one of those things is the reason?)

I'm not a drunk and I don't drink to excess because my father is a drunk. As was my last boyfriend.

I've done my time with men being assholes to me and then blaming it on the alcohol.

It's not the alcohol that made you an asshole, dear. You're always an asshole. And you always will be.


5) Who turns you on the most & why: [the activist, the author, the care-giver/healer (nurse, doctor, masseuse, herbalist, chiropractor, etc.), the comedian, the educator (professor, teacher, mentor etc.), the model, the musician, the politician, the scientist]

Hands down, the comedian. Just today in the dressing room of LYLE, I said that if a man makes me laugh out loud, I'm his. I can't imagine going through life with someone who isn't funny. I don't care how good the sex is.

Someday, I'm going to regret not picking "the model with a huge cock" on this question, won't I?


Bonus (as in optional): Looking back, what's the one thing you've done which was supposed to be erotic, but didn't quite work out?

Two words: Liquid Latex.

No one told me that you should really shave any area where you will be applying liquid latex completely smooth.

Ripping off hard, rubbery latex along with huge sections of body hair (pubic and otherwise) is a personal Hell that my penis will never let me forget.

8 comments:

whimsical brainpan said...

LMFAO @ the liquid latex!

Mark in DE said...

Where do these questions come from? The grammar is horrible. I'm surprised you don't correct the sentence structure and use of quotation marks.

Great answers though, as usual.

Mark :-)

Anonymous said...

I love your #2 and your Bonus the most, lol. Great answers. Happy TMI!

cb said...

Two things: one- I wouldn't use the wish. why make anyone else suffer being stuck on a desert island?

two- I feel the same way about having a guy make me laugh. Not just a polite "ha ha" but a guy who can make me guffaw with abandon gets my heart (and ass) every time.

Polt said...

Liquid latex...better than Nair, eh?

HUGS...

Renee said...

OUCH!!

That is all. ;)

Renee

joe*to*hell said...

now stephen dear....

darling, you strike me as a common sense kinda gal. this is why its most disturbing that the liquid latex incident happened at all!

certainly anything you apply to a hairy area that starts as liquid and ends as solid is not safe for the follicles. i can only surmise that you were caught up in the moment and your better senses had just left you. one can often be forgiven for poor decisions made under the spell of venus.

the same must then ring true for magic shell ice cream topping, one would imagine.

love, joe, channeling my inner helen gurley brown

Stephen R. said...

whim - It's true. It happened. T'weren't fun at all! :)

mark - They all come from the TMI Tuesday blog. Check 'em out. Join in, cutie.

amorous rocker - Thanks! It's true. I'd love to spend all that time with my mom. Happy TMI!

cb - You and I were separated at birth! It's uncanny how much we have in common.

polt - Better than Nair only slightly!!! Only slightly...

renee - You said it! I said, "OUCH!" and about 463 words much more offensive by the time it was all off me. :)

joe*to*hell - Well, since I'm pretty smooth to begin with, I didn't think about that at all. But trust me, what little I had was GONE all too soon and way too painfully. I learned my latex lession. Magic shell ice cream topping... hmmmmm.....