Thursday, January 24, 2008

Packing a Musket by Jerri Blank

To cleanse my blog of the bile left by just writing the name "Fred Phelps," I thought we could use a little poetry by my favorite 46 year old high school Freshman, Jerri Blank...

Packing a Musket
by Jerri Blank

When you work from your home,
And johns call on the phone,
You're a Call Girl

When you walk to your limp,
And give a cut to a pimp,
You're a Street Whore

When they're beggin' you please
To get down on your knees
Near their groinage

'Scuza me
But you see
Don't you touch
Where they pee
Without coinage

When I straddle and squat
To show you my...


dirk.mancuso said...

I love me some Amy Sedaris and Jerri Blank.

(And Stephen Rader, for this afternoon giggle...)

Anonymous said...

I blew Stephen Colbert in the bathroom of Second City in 1984.

I'm just saying.


Doug said...

Leave it to Stephen! Amy / Jerri always does the trick!

I can't say why, but I feel gayer than usual today... gayer than... gayer than...

Gayer than JM J Bullock and Liberace playing mahjongg with Martina Navratilova and Billie Jean King while listening to Charles Nelson Reilly, Paul Lynde and Nathan Lane sing "The Trolley Song" dressed as "Judy! Judy! Judy!"-- Judy Garland, Judy Kaye and Judy Tenuta, while accompanied on the piano by Elton John as Michael Kors turns pages for him.

Mark in DE said...

What was Comedy Central thinking when they cancelled "Strangers With Candy"??? She's awesome.

Mark :-)

Aaron said...

My favorite episode was the one where her step-mother was an alcoholic and Jerri got the lead in "A Raisin In The Sun," and had to call "line!" all through the performance.

Alex: Had the electric hand-dryer malfunctioned or something?

OH!! Oh, you mean you...oh...and he...oh! Oh, dear God...! I never...oh God, I don't know where to look...

Stephen Rader said...

dirk - Afternoon giggle. Afternoon delight. I aim to please. :)

Alex - Something tells me that Paul Dinello was in the next stall ACHING for it to be a three-way. Am I right?

doug - You have moved beyond gay. You're now in the Land of Enchantment! And by the way, does Michael Kors look more haggard with each episode of PROJECT RUNWAY or is it me? How hard is it to sit around and make bitchy comments about things? Sure, that's what I do on here all the time, but it's not aging me THAT fast. At least, I hope it's not!!!

mark - I wonder why it stopped after 3 seasons. Do you think Amy wanted the show to end? The woman can do no wrong!

aaron - The RAISIN IN THE SUN episode is my favorite!!! Doesn't she say she's so excited about the production that, "I'm considering memorizing my lines." Genius!

joe*to*hell said...

i feel like jerri must be over 50 by now

we missed her bday. sad. no cake

Stephen Rader said...

joe*to*hell - She can't be over 50! That would make her the laughing stock of Flatpoint High!!! :)

Gregory said...

Megawatti: Are you thinking about the Science Fair?

Jerri: I'm thinking about pussy. Science fair is for queers.

Even though it's from the movie and I missed Orlando and I still love Stew the Meatman's original joke, I still love this part in the movie. Because Jerri gets to deliver it.

Stephen Rader said...

gregory - I think my favorite Jerri scene is when she's with "Copperhead" in the lunchroom and they are sharing Dizzy. A line like...

"Where were you? I'll repeat the question. What took you so long?"

...makes me horse laugh every time!!!

Anonymous said...

Rather amusing answer