Monday, January 14, 2008

Clay Aiken on Broadway: "Now THAT'S Faggy"

We all know Clay Gay-ken is a closet case...

...albeit a closet case with pretty hot taste in tricks, as my friend Mike's blog showed us back in '06...

...and we all know that his behavior borders on being Britney-esque...

...I mean, we ALL know what he did with this American Music Award when he got it home, don't we?...

...and we all know that I personally can't stand the drivel he passes as music to all the "Claymates"...

...or maybe we should call them "Gaymates" - - a much nicer term than what we've been calling them: "Middle Aged Fag Hags"...

...but now we know for a fact that Clay is a severe and pathetic dumbass.

This just in from the Associated Press...

NEW YORK---- Clay Aiken, who joins the cast of ''Monty Python's Spamalot'' this week, says its humor was initially lost on him.

''The first time I saw it I thought it was the stupidest thing I'd ever seen in my entire life,'' the ''American Idol'' runner-up told Newsweek.

''I thought Monty Python was a person until three months ago,'' Aiken told Newsweek.


Aiken plays one of the leads, Sir Robin, in the Tony Award-winning musical in a stint from Friday through May 4. He told the magazine he was so sore from rehearsals he ''couldn't even get off the toilet the other day.''


''It hurts so bad. I don't know if it's I'm not coordinated or using muscles I never had to use before,'' he said.


Yeah...

I guess when you've spent an entire evening shoving a set of billiard balls up your ass - - or as the Claymates refer to it, "Up his Clay-Hole" - - it's a little hard to get off the toilet.

I mean, how else can an impatient, pushy bottom like Clay get all those balls to come out?

And Clay, if it "hurts so bad" to dance standing up, why don't you try the combinations on your knees. You're used to being in that position for hours, right?

And as for thinking the show was "the stupidest thing" you'd ever seen in your life and believing that "Monty Python was a person," maybe it's ok to think that stuff, but when you get hired to work for those people, DON'T ADMIT IT IN PRINT!!

For awhile, I couldn't wait for the closet doors to swing open after you were found blowing George Michael in an LA bathroom, but now, after those incredibly stupid comments, I don't want you on our team.

Give back the shoes, bitch - - Dorothy isn't your friend anymore.

Of course, the straight people don't want you either. Although, I'll bet Mitt Romney would welcome you onto his team. He needs all the help he can get these days.

P.S. Does this photo frighten anyone else as much as it frightens me?

I'm not saying that homosexuality equals pedophilia, but that look on Clay's face... well... oh, Jesus...

Where the Hell is Chris Hanson when we need him?

11 comments:

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

So he is awful and stupid then.

Dana said...

Sheesh, I'm the whitest, most out of the loop person in the entire world, and I knew what Monty Python was. Gee whiz, I feel better now.

Aaron said...

I'm sorry, but now that he's admitted his incredible dumbfuckery in print, he should be fired from the show. Did he actually fucking audition? In front of people? And they still cast him?

Maybe HE'S not the dumbfuck after all...

Michael said...

Oh shit, we blogged about the same thing. Somewhere, a kitten died...or something....right?

Tina said...

Aw, don't pick on Clay. ^_^

If he's telling the truth about being straight, that makes him prize winning bend-over boyfriend material. He's a peggers wet-dream. 4Reelz.

Shirley Heezgay! said...

eww.

Sly said...

If Patti LaBelle is white, what does that make Clay?

supertiff said...

he should have been kicked off the cast.
spamalot DOES NOT have to lower it's standards to have 'a name' in the cast.

Mark in DE said...

That pathetic southern draw of his should be a nice compliment as Sir Robin. Oh, and BTW, this post is sheer brilliance! I sparkle it so much.

Mark :-)

Stephen Rader said...

whim - Yep, but not necessarily in that order. Oy...

dana - Apparently, it takes Clay an hour and a half to watch 60 MINUTES.

aaron - I'm sure he auditioned and you're damn right that he should be fired after admitting that in print. That's like insulting the copy at a commercial audition. It's not only stupid, it's in poor taste. What a schlub.

michael - Jinx. Buy me a coke! :)

tina - You said it, baby! And the truth is the truth!!!

shirley - I'll second that.

sly - That makes Clay a friggin' albino!

supertiff - So true, but I'll bet the producers are hoping that all the Claymates will travel to NYC to see the show. And they will. "How do you get on Broadway?" "Become a C+ level, mediocre television star, man."

mark - Thanks, baby! I sparkle you so much. :)

Valyna said...

"Give back the shoes, bitch - - Dorothy isn't your friend anymore."... that's the funniest thing I've heard all year so far :)