Saturday, January 12, 2008

"Short People Got No Reason..."

In my opinion, Craig Ferguson is the funniest man on late night television. Every time I watch THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, I belly laugh through his opening monologue.

This quote from this past Thursday's monologue made me horse laugh in addition to the usual belly laugh...
"Nicole Kidman is pregnant. Isn't that lovely? Congratulations to Nicole.

"And here's the great news. She still has that little bed that Tom used to sleep in."


Tremendously funny.

Almost as funny as what Nicole herself said the day her divorce from Tom Cruise was final. When asked for a statement from the press, she said...

"Now I can wear heels."

See Katie, there will be life after Tom Cruise. And not only life, but life where you have sex with Keith Urban every night.

There is hope, Katie. There is hope.


P.S. I never noticed it before, but Randy Newman's song SHORT PEOPLE kinda calls Tom a closet case right in the first verse. Newman describes short people (a.k.a. "Tom Cruise") by saying...

"They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies"

Hey Tom. Come out, come out, where ever you are.

8 comments:

Sly said...

I always wear my Lucky Jeans when I watch Craig.

hello, my name is danny. said...

you made me belly laugh!

thanks, stephen...now i have to get to the gym to get rid the belly you just made me realize that i have.

LOL

Anonymous said...

Sex with Keith Urban every night, yes, some things are definitely worth waiting for. Hope floats.

Anonymous said...

Sex with Keith Urban every night. Definitely worth waiting for, hope floats.

Project Christopher said...

I refrain from any comment on short people as a 6foot 7inch tall person. I get a lot of backlash.

However, there's one 5'3" person that's WELL worth commenting on. It WAS like a chihuahua mounting a great dane... but the dane was happy!

You know.. he's so weird, do we really want to count Tom on our team?

Aaron said...

Love Craig Ferguson...I loved him in "Saving Grace," as Brenda Blethyn's friend/neighbor (it's the first time I ever noticed how hot he was, too, since he was such an asshole on "Drew Carey," albeit a funny one.)

Tom can stay IN...I always found him repugnant and annoying, even in "Risky Business," despite everyone's universal accolades (playing a smart-ass North Shore kid and lip-synching in your underwear? Wow--THERE'S an acting stretch...) Don't even get me started on "All The Right Moves."

Gregory said...

I can't relate...

;)

Stephen Rader said...

sly - Well, if you get bed Craig, I want to know all the dirty details. That man is funny AND sexy.

danny - Glad I could make you laugh, but don't go to the gym on my account. I haven't been in so long, I'm ashamed for the guy at the desk to swipe my membership card and see just how long my lazy ass has been sitting on the couch waiting for Tom Cruise to come out of the closet. :)

anonymous - I'll hope for sex with Keith Urban every night. That's definitely a wish to build a dream on.

christopher - I just want Tom to admit it and THINK he's coming over onto our team. We ain't gonna let him become a Friend of Dorothy's. No way in Hell.

aaron - Did you see MAGNOLIA? I HATED him in that movie. And he got an Oscar nomination for it, didn't he? No accounting for bad taste.

gregory - I've seen you, baby. You are a cute-as-Hell boy. That bf of your's is quite lucky!