Friday, January 25, 2008

The Lion Wants Courage & We All Know What Clay Is Aiken For

My friend Michael Ryczek sent me this picture yesterday and the email simply said...

"who's the bigger sissy - you decide"

Well, let's see. Clay is in a rhinestone-studded, "poor man's Porter Wagoner" tux and a red wig- - his costume from SPAMALOT - - but the Cowardly Lion's hair is FIERCE and it's neatly bundled into a red, silk bow.

Then again, Clay's got that whole orange-tan, overly-white teeth, "face pulled so tight he looks Eurasian" thing going on. But the Cowardly Lion's eyebrows have been plucked into a severe, "bitch don't fuck with me" arch.

Let's face it - - it's impossible to figure out who is the bigger sissy. Let's just consider them "Separated at Birth."

Sort of like post-stroke Bette Davis and the Apple Tree from THE WIZARD OF OZ.

P.S. Clay Aiken has a blog on the SPAMALOT web site. Since he's in the show till May, his blog will either be a source of continuous laughs or a cure for insomnia. Either way, someone wins.

But whoever wins, you can be damn sure it isn't the audience members of Broadway's SPAMALOT. Unless he falls into the orchestra pit. Now, THAT would be funny.


Thomas MacEntee said...

Jeez - I though it was Carrot Top! I liketa died!

Mark in DE said...

When I saw that photo of Gay Aiken, I thought it was Annie!!! "Maybe I'll come out, tomorrow..."

Mark :-)

Aaron said...

"post-stroke Bette Davis or the Apple Tree from The Wizard of Oz"

Oh, girl, you did NOT!

That was so horrible of you--

You'll make me laugh all afternoon now...:-)

Michael said...

Yeah, I'm speeding my ascent into Hell by laughing at that too....

Anonymous said...

I can just see "If I were Queen of the Forest". I bet they can even dye her eyes to match her gown. Tra la la la.

Tina said...

Holy hell, he looks like Carrot Top. Doesn't he look at himself in the mirror before going on stage?

Stephen Rader said...

thomas - Have we ever seen Carrot Top and Clay Aiken in the same place at the same time? Have we? :)

mark - Someone should write those lyrics for him! Immediately!

aaron & michael - Well, it's true, ain't it? :)

uprightguy - Another great one! QUEEN OF THE FOREST, indeed!!

tina - I'm sure there are mirrors all around that bitch. She just has no taste!!!

cb said...

Damn, I wish Clay would get over the fucking gay thing. He barefucked a marine down in North Carolina motel... and a friend of mine may or may not have touched his (reportedly large) pee pee.

I did get a kick out of Ms. Davis and the apple tree. that's so cruel its delicious!

Stephen Rader said...

cb - Well, for his sake, I hope Clay does has a big schlong. He ain't got much else.

supertiff said...

i almost had to disown monty python after i found out that clay aiken was going to be allowed to appear in spamalot.

in the end, i could never break up with monty python. but, sheesh.

clay aiken is poop.