What do you get when you're driving drunk on a suspended license because of a DUI arrest - - so drunk in fact that your blood-alcohol level is DOUBLE that of the legal limit - - and you drive your car into and kill a man on a bicycle?
Well, if you're on the phone with a friend after it happens and if you laugh when that friend says that you should be given a medal and a parade for "taking out a tree hugger, a bicyclist, a Frenchman and a gay guy all in one shot" - - well, in that circumstance you get 10 and a half years in prison.
That's what happened to this woman - - Melissa Arrington, age 27.
Pretty, ain't she? Yeah, pretty fuckin' haggard.
Melissa here - - and you just KNOW that she was one of those girls in middle school who dotted the "i" in "Melissa" with a little heart, don't you? - - was convicted two months ago of negligent homicide and two counts of aggravated DUI in connection with the December 2006 death of Paul L'Ecuyer.
And when the judge heard a tape of the phone call where Melissa's friend commended her for "taking out... a gay guy," where Melissa laughed and then her friend said that he knew that was terrible thing to say and Melissa replied, "No, it's not," the judge gave her just one year shy of the maximum penalty for her crimes.
But don't worry, Melissa. You won't be around any "gay guys" in a maximum security women's prison.
That's ok, though. I mean, we gay men, when you piss us off, we just hold you down and fuck with your hair.
But the lesbians in prison? They're our sisters and I'm sure they're none too pleased that you laughed about "taking out... a gay guy."
Here's a tip: Sister Spike likes it when you use your tongue to spell out the alphabet when you're "down there."
Don't know what I'm talking about? You will... very soon...