Sunday, January 27, 2008

"The Mystery of the Disappearing Hand Towels"

This morning, my brother Jeff is running the Miami Marathon.

At the present time, it is 66 degrees in Miami and 12 degrees here in Chicago.

Of course, 12 is a heat wave for us, seeing as how just two days ago, it was -9 degrees. And that's not the wind chill factor, that was the actual temperature.

So, I wish I could be in Miami right now for a number of reasons - - to enjoy the weather and to cheer my little brother on.

Here's a picture of the two of us taken after he ran his first marathon here in Chicago a couple of years ago.

He could barely walk that night, but he managed to limp over to Hydrate for a couple of cocktails.

He also managed to bring a handsome man FROM Hydrate to my apartment to trick with that night. On my couch, no less.

Curiously enough, when I woke up the next morning, both the trick and the hand towels in my bathroom were gone.

Jeff, of course, lied and said he didn't know anything about "The Mystery of the Disappearing Hand Towels." But after a little interrogation from me, he cracked, admitted what he had done and pulled the significantly soiled hand towels out from under my couch.

"What?," I said. "Wiping up your spunk with some tissues is too good for you?"

So Jeff, best of luck today in the marathon. And best of luck tonight with your post-marathon trick.

Go ahead and use the hotel's hand towels. They won't mind.

9 comments:

Aaron said...

You hadn't bought the towels at Crate and Barrel, had you? They're crazy expensive--I have some kitchen towels from there that I STILL won't use...

(I really don't know what else to say here...anything else would take me to a place that's just icky-ocky.)

Lance Noe said...

the fact you have a gay brother, weirds me out a bit. i am not totally sure why but it do!

" my cousin, he done got...."

Stephen Rader said...

aaron - Nope, they weren't Crate and Barrel hand towels. If they had been, my brother would have been taking a little trip to C&B before he made it back to Atlanta that day!!!

lance - I doesn't weird me out at all. Well, it did that one time in ATL when I slept with a guy who told me, after it was over, that he had tricked with my brother just a couple of weeks earlier. That weirded me out. But just a little.

Em said...

That is such a sweet picture!

Michael said...

hmmmmmm.....I see that naughty streak runs in the family.....and I blame Wanda.

Master Aaron said...

One day I will tell The Tales Of That Couch. Anonymously. GO JEFF!

Stephen Rader said...

em - Thanks! I love it, too!!

michael - No blame needed. We ASPIRE to her greatness!!

master aaron - If that couch could talk, I wouldn't have to write my memoirs.

philip said...

It wasn't "some trick", it was my good good friend who was in from out of town and staying with me. . . and my sofa bed and hand towels were left unrumpled and unsoiled that night. You got extra company, and I got a quiet evening at home.
Oh, and I took that picture, bithcezzz!

Mark in DE said...

Aw, thanks for sharing that warm, family story!

Mark :-)