Wednesday, January 16, 2008

"38? Stephen Doesn't Look a Day Over Gorgeous!"

In less than a week, I turn 38.

In the movie ALL OF ME, when Steve Martin's on-screen girlfriend wishes him a Happy 38th Birthday, he responds with this brilliant piece of sarcasm...

"In two years, I'll be 40.
In twelve years, I'll be 50.
I'm really excited about this."

While it's well known that I love sarcasm and have occasionally raised pessimism to an art level, I'm actually extremely happy about turning 38.

Lots of change taking place in my life right now and l have the extraordinary love of friends, both old and new.

To keep this from sounding too much like a Precious Moments card, I'm not getting laid all that much, so if you can help me out with that, let me know.

I would love to take some time on my actual birthday (and the day before) and just hang out with my friends. And my favorite place to hang out is Sidetrack on Showtune Monday.

But last year, my friend Mike mentioned that he only darkens the door of "Showtunes at Sidetrack" once a given year - - when he's celebrating my birthday - - so I thought I would change things up a little. Present a couple of options.

That said, I will be celebrating my birthday - - by drinking lots of vodka and singing a few rounds of "That Old Gray Mare, She Ain't What She Used To Be" - - at and on the following:

A) Monday Night, January 21st - Stephen's Birthday Eve at the Inevitable
(3349 N. Halsted).

I'll get there around 8:30 p.m. or so, and I will park myself in the area my inner-Trekkie refers to as "Ten Forward."

When you go in the door, if you keep going straight forward, you will go up a couple of steps and then you'll walk into a small room. You'll know you're in Ten Forward if there's a huge Warp Core in the center of the room surrounded by banquettes.

I will be seated on one of those banquettes scream-singing I'M STILL HERE with Elaine Stritch.

- or -

B) Tuesday Night, January 22nd - Stephen's Honest-to-God Birthday at
's (5025 N. Clark).

Why T's? Well, there's tons of room, the bartenders pour a mean vodka cranberry and four little words: Garlic Mayo Cheese Fries. 'Nuff said.

I will arrive at T's around 7:30 p.m. or and head straight for the back room (don't say it). And once again, I will be scream-singing I'M STILL HERE. This time a capella and without Strichy's help

Please, no gifts. If you want to give me something that I will love, join me at either Sidetrack or T's - - or both. Hanging out with my friends is exactly how I would like to celebrate my two year sprint towards 40.

That or a nice spanking. I'm easy.

P.S. In the picture at the top of this post is from one of my dual birthday parties with my cousin Rhonda. She was born on the same day that I was. In the same hospital. By the same doctors and nurses. Four hours before me.

I'm one smiling with his front teeth missing and no, the pink cake was not for me.

It was for Rhonda. I wanted a pink birthday cake, but my father said, "Hell no!" Imagine.


Aaron said...

I will look forward to seeing you either at T's or Sidetrack...maybe both! (Any excuse to drink)

cb said...

I turned 38 earlier this year, and all i have to say is "meh".

I hope yours doesn't suck at all.

And you really don't look a day over about 34... squared.

Brigitte said...

This is why we are soul sisters. Garlic Mayo Cheese Fries. I get those once a year on my birthday too! Who knows, I may make an appearance since I LOVE T's and their cosmoritas.
FYI, I got the Paula Deen dessert book for Christmas. Perhaps there will be a butter laden treat for you.

Master Aaron said...

I included my comments in a personal email, so as not to incur the wrath of the aging-gorgeously. Happy early birthday. Don't birthdays last for an entire month if you're gay and will admit to more than 35?!?!? Well, they SHOULD.

Mark in DE said...

Ah, wish I lived closer to Chicago so I could be there for the songs and birthday spanking.

Mark :-)

Mike said...

I was going to respond to your email with this comment via email but since you called me out publically here, I'll just go ahead and post it.

Last Monday, Allen was meeting someone at Sidetrack and asked me if I wanted to join them (knowing I probably wouldn't but anyway...); I told him I would but I couldn't since it was close to Stephen's birthday and that's when my annual trip would be.

That said, Andy and I will certainly be meeting you at T's next Tuesday. :)

Stephen Rader said...

aaron - Both?!? WOOHOO!! I'm loving that!

cb - As Harvey Fierstein said in TORCH SONG TRILOGY, "I'm aging about as well as a Beach Party movie." But it don't stop the boys from coming. So to speak. :)

brigitte - I would LOVE to see you at T's. It's been WAY too long since we've hung out and chatted up about all things Paula. Bring on the butter, baby!

master aaron - I think you're absolutely right!!! Where should my celebration take place on Wednesday? Backroom of Cellblock? The whirlpool at Steamworks? Choices, choices, choices...

mark - You had me at "spankings." :)

mike - How much do I love that you keep my birthday in mind as a date NOT to plan a trip to Sidetrack around. That's friendship, ladies and gentleman. When a man is as under-whelmed by showtunes as Mike is, THAT is FRIENDSHIP!!!

See you and Andy at T's. :)

Project Christopher said...

OK, this inner trekkie wishes to thank SOMEONE for not allowing me to be out on that limb alone in calling that area of sidetrack's 10 Forward. But I do have to give you kudos, I've never thought of that as the warp corp... but I will now!

I'll be flying in from LA on the 21st so if my liver makes it through airport security after a long holiday weekend, I'll be there!

By the way... if all this is going on about turning 38.. what in the world are you going to do when you DO hit 40... it ain't that bad...

Polt said...

I have never wanted to be in Chicago anymore in my LIFE than I want to on the 21st!

Happy Birthday, sweetie. but take it from a newly-40 40 year're only as young as you feel...and I like to feel myself several times a day!


mrpeenee said...

I'm sending you a telepathic pink birthday cake, via the Psychic Friends Network.


Java said...

HA! I figured as many folks as I've met on these blogs someone would share my birthday!!! But hey, I had it first. You turn 40 in two years. I turned 40 6 years ago.

the joy said...

Woo aquarius!!! (Feb 12 here) I'll have a vodka in solidarity.

the joy said...

Woo aquarius!!! (Feb 12 here) I'll have a vodka in solidarity.

the joy said...

Woo aquarius!!! (Feb 12 here) I'll have a vodka in solidarity.

just me said...

My birthday is the 23rd, which is one day more than yours. Duh! If only my oldest were gay, I could hook you, kid.

Valyna said...

*virtual birthday spankings for you, my dear =)

Kristie said...

Sorry I was going to be there and surprise you on your bday but I had to go and get myself sick so my trip to Chicago was canceled. Hope you have a wonderful time.
Love ya cous.