Friday, September 28, 2007

One of Tonight's "New Rules" from Bill Maher

I just finished watching tonight's episode of REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER and I laughed my ass off at this - - tonight's next to last "New Rule": (these are his words, not mine)...

New Rule:
Stop playing "
Matchmaker" to your gay friends.



If there's anything gay men hate more than clutter, it's when one of their straight friends says...

"There's this new guy at work and he's gay. You two should totally go out!"

Like that's the only requirement for two gay men to date...

"You like penises? I like penises. Let's get married!"

Just once, I'd like to hear a gay man tell a straight girl...

"Hey, I met this guy yesterday and he's straight. You should fuck him!"

11 comments:

Dana said...

OK, in our defense, our gay friends are always coming up to us saying, "I wish I could just meet a nice guy." ALL OF OUR GAY FRIENDS ARE NICE! THAT'S WHY WE WANT TO SET YOU UP! Ya want nice, we give you nice, and then ya slam us for it. THANKS!

:)

Tina said...

I would completely appreciate it, if you offered me some straight guy you know. Just to fuck him.

Dana said...

Ditto.

Shirley Heezgay said...

Ah, the ladies tell the truth...

Well, truth be told, back in the day (I'se married noaw) if it was just for a simple 'hook up' then ok.

Lookin' for love??? He needs to be more than just gay....but it's a great start!

Stephen Rader said...

Dana and Tina - - By all means, keep those "Potential New Boyfriends" rolling in. Far be it from me to say "no thank you" to a possible love connection.

It just struck me as funny and I hope it didn't offend either of you. I always shy away from blind dates like that, though. Usually the guy is not interested when he takes a look at me.

Also, I'm much more of the "see a stranger across a crowded room" kind of guy. That's rather foolish, I know, but I still believe in romance and love at first sight.

So, bring on the "gay guy from work" for me and I'll start finding the "straight guy who just wants to fuck" for y'all. How's that?!?! :)

Shirley - Gay is a good start. Someone who has perfected his oral technique is helpful, as well.

YARD said...

Well, a penis is on the must have list...

Stephen Rader said...

Yard - Oh, yes! Mustn't forget the penis!!! And one of the "Goldilocks Variety" would be best. You know, not too big, not too small - - JUST right!

Granted "just right" for me is probably "too big" for some people, but I'm sure he / it is out there somewhere.

Love your blog, by the way!!!

Master Aaron said...

"I met this guy. He's straight. You should fuck him." I say this to my straight female friends ALL THE TIME. HELL, I use to say this to my sisters. Of course, we're from Kentucky...

Stephen Rader said...

Master Aaron - It's a Southern thing. I said the same thing to my women friends in Tennessee. :)

Master Aaron said...

I read this again, and I have a new take on it: The Wonderful Mr. Maher is baiting the collective gay universe to set him up with our straight girlfriends. If he doesn't have herpes, I think we should do it! How do we find out? Stephen, YOU ask him.

Stephen Rader said...

Master Aaron - I'm on it. Or him. Or whatever. :)