Friday, September 28, 2007

Leave Jaime Somers Alone!

I am really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY DISGUSTED by critics - - both professional and blogger - - who watch one episode of a new television series and tell us how horrifically BAD the entire series is going to be.

I very much enjoyed Wednesday night's premiere episode of BIONIC WOMAN.

And apparently, the nation was just as intrigued as I was, since it won a 5.5 rating among adults 18 to 49, beating the show it played opposite, PRIVATE PRACTISE, which received a 5.1 rating.

My favorite thing about the episode was the storytelling. The scenes were cut in and out, back and forth, in such a way that the "establishing of location" shot - - one long shot showing a building, then an internal shot showing the character in a room in the building and THEN starting the scene - - was not used very much.

This lead to rapid advancement of the story, yet it didn't lead to confusion, either. I loved it.

And I loved the new Jaime Somers, Michelle Ryan, for all the reasons that some other "online critics" hated her - - she underplayed everything.

In contrast the "bad bionic woman" - - Katee Sackhoff playing "Sarah Corvus" - - ate so much scenery, I was afraid I was watching a Disney villain. One sure way to make an audience know that you're crazy is to play KAH-RAY-ZEE!

Well, she did. And even though I'm a big ol' fag who loves camp, I wasn't looking for camp in my new BIONIC WOMAN series.

And from what I could tell from the rest of the episode, neither were the creators. Ms. Sackhoff, however, gave the people what they wanted; she brought in the KAH-RAY-ZEE and apparently she was the hit of the episode.

This pilot episode had to establish Jaime, her family, her boyfriend, her relationship with her boyfriend, her boyfriend's secret government agency, that agency's agents, that agency's first bionic woman, how Jaime becomes the new bionic woman, how those bionics work, how a civilian gets is forced / convinced to work for this agency, how the new bionics affect her life, her body and her relationships AND most importantly, this episode had to give us a kick-ass bionic battle.

It had to do ALL of that in 40-something minutes.

So, all of you who thought that Ms. Ryan wasn't up to snuff or the script was lacking or the acting was bad or whatever - - write your own fucking script, go to Hollywood, sell it, get it produced and see it made into a pilot.

If all of your BRILLIANT ideas make it into that pilot, then by all means, give us your opinion on EVERYTHING.

Until then, give the series a little breathing room and let it find it's voice.

****

Oh, and if you really want something to compare this to, go back and watch the two-part episode of THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN where Jamie Somers was introduced in the 70's.

It ends with Lee Majors singing - - SINGING!!! - - a song about how much he loves Jaime...

...in a song called "Jaime" or some such bullshit...

...it's sung over the credits of the second episode of this two-parter...

...because she DIES at the end.

Yep. Jaime Somers died at the end of the two-part SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN episode in which she was introduced.

They brought Jaime back from the dead to be THE BIONIC WOMAN and star in her own series.

And since she was introduced as a Steve Austin's old girlfriend, she also gets a case of - - you guessed it - - amnesia.

So the writers wouldn't have to deal with too many crossovers between the two series.

Back from the dead with amnesia.

Can you imagine how the bloggers would have reacted to THAT back in the day?

12 comments:

just me said...

My nephew called the Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar man the six dollar man. He was 5. Out of the mouths of babes....

Haven't seen the new one yet. It brings back such gruesome memories of Lindsay Wagner, and all those incredibly boring movies she made.

What's your sleep number?

Stephen Rader said...

Just Me - The Six Dollar Man. Now THAT'S what I call a television show!!!

I fell in love with THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN because his name was Steve and I could easily pretend that I was him. Plus, Lee Majors wasn't so bad to look at, now was he? :)

My sleep number: 22. Which is also my age.

What's so funny?

Mike said...

I haven't watched Bionic yet -- it's on the TiVo. But I'm glad you like Michelle Ryan.

She used to be on my British soap EastEnders and the scenes where she found out that her slutty older sister was actually her mom (and that her biological father was actually her favorite uncle (her dad's brother!) who'd molested her mom/sister) -- trust me, they were classic.

She was also really awesome on Jekyll -- which I cannot tout enough.

Thanks BBC America!

Stephen Rader said...

Mike - Thank God for BBC America!!!

I can't wait to hear what you think about it. I really enjoyed it. That first bionic woman, though, is off her rocker. Richard Simmons would have been more subdued in the role!!!!

Kristie said...

I liked the show and am looking forward to where the show takes her character. I loved the attitude that Michelle put in at the end . I already have this set for a season pass

Stephen Rader said...

Kristie - I'm right there with you. This DEFINITELY has a Season Pass on my S'Tivo. :)

SimplySex said...

I watched the Bionic woman and overall liked it. The actress playing Jamie pretty much sucked!!! The guy playing her BF was very yummy!!!!

Stephen Rader said...

Simply Sex - I'll agree with you on the "yummy BF" thing, but I really liked Michelle Ryan as Jaime Somers. And I was raised on Lindsay Wagner, so that's saying something!!!!

Castle of Stink said...

I would not go so far as to say a whole season would suck based on one episode, but that first episode, though I enjoyed it very much, did not seem to set up a storyline that would maintain my interest for very long. That may be because of my dislike for the villain, too. A stronger storyline might appear in the next episode, though.

I definitely like Michelle Ryan, though, and would also tout Jekyll as well.

Stephen Rader said...

Castle of Stink - I agree wholeheartedly! I didn't "love" the episode 100%, but it seemed like every review I read was discussing it's weaknesses without praising it's strengths.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one who thought the "Bionic Villainess" was over the top. That performance made Cher look subtle!!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah. The series was sooooo good, it got canned.

Stephen Rader said...

anonymous - First of all, whey is that everyone who chooses to leave snarky, smart-assed, "bitchy fag with s cigarette held over his shoulder" comments always does so anonymously? Oh, I know why - - because you're all spineless, moronic pricks. See, if you weren't a spineless, moronic prick, you'd use your fucking name.

Secondly, the list of television shows that were dead last in the ratings in their debut season, but for one reason or another, were picked up for a second season to then become a long-running, highly successful, fan favorite, money making show is long and varied. Would BIONIC WOMAN have been one of those shows? Who can tell, but I enjoyed it and I think others did too.

You didn't, but then your opinion doesn't count, because you're anonymous. So lick me where I can't reach.