Sunday, January 11, 2009

"Criminals Are a Superstitious and Cowardly Lot..."

Ever wonder why there are no superheroes in the real world?

Well, we're all pussies, that's why.

When a bat flew in Bruce Wayne's open window, he took that as a sign, an omen. He became a creature of the night. He became The Batman.

But when a couple in Chicago's Lincoln Square find a bat in their apartment, they don't become Batman and Batwoman. They don't fight the pervasive crime that infests the corner of Lawrence and Western Avenues. No, they trap the bat in a bucket, call Chicago Animal Control and discover that the bat has rabies. And now, they are undergoing medical treatment for rabies. Bo-oring.

Maybe that bat was radioactive and, if it had bitten the man, he would have become a real-life Man-Bat. Or if the bat had been bitten by a moth and then the moth bit the woman, she would have become Luna Moth. The possibilities are ENDLESS.

Well, the possibilities are endless if you're not a pussy who is afraid of rabies anyway...

5 comments:

Polt said...

Oh Im useless in a bat-in-the-room scenario. Check this out:

http://poltspalace.blogspot.com/2007/08/usin-sawmill-slabs-for-bats.html

See...no good at all. Well, comedy relief, I suppose...

HUGS...

Gallus said...

There just aren't enough radioactive bats or spiders or vats of chemical waste lying around are there?

Mike Ellis, The Jolly Reprobate said...

I'm convinced I was born to be Aquaman. I've got the build and the blond hair; I look good in green, and fish laugh at my jokes.

If my mother's improper bathing techniques when I was an infant hadn't left me pathologically afraid of water, I'd be out there combatting pollution, whaling ships, and the MTV beach house crowd right now.

Anonymous said...

Bats in the belfry are no big deal. my partner and I helped our neighbor get a rid of a bat once with a little hairspray and broom. so if you see a bat flying around far north Roger's park with every hair in place, that is our uninvited guest.

Java said...

Reality often astonishes our perfect scenarios.