Thursday, February 01, 2007

"Does Anyone Still Wear a Hat?"

Open Letter to Elaine Stritch

Regarding Her Rhetorical Question

"Does Anyone Still Wear A Hat?"

Right here, dude.

If this doesn't convince you that the mind is the first thing to go, I'm not quite sure what will.

But ya'll, isn't it great that the mind IS the first thing to go. I want other... things... to hang on for a long, LONG time.

Now, let me explain the Uncle Sam drag.

No, I'm not running for President on the Democratic ticket...

...although I think I'm just about the only person who is NOT announcing his bid for the Presidency...

...right now, I wouldn't be surprised if Vic Tayback made a run for the Oval Office.

In fact, this country could use a little Tayback right about now.

Just think about it...

Mel Sharples
debating Hillary.

Hillary: "It takes a village."

Vic Tayback: "Stow it, blondie."

And hey, Hillary, one thing.

You took your husband's name when you married him... stayed WITH your husband after that whole "jizz on a dress" thing... how about dropping the Cher / Madonna / Oprah one- name bullshit and put CLINTON somewhere on your campaign posters!!!

Come on, Hillary! Al Gore distanced himself from your husband in 2000 and look where he is today.

Ok... yes, he's the center of an Oscar-nominated documentary, but that's not the point.... Ummm... Well...

I digress.

In order to encourage people in the Chicago theatre community...

...actors, designers, directors...

...audience members, crew members, staff members...

...that hot guy with the mohawk wearing a black jacket lined with safety pins who sat behind me a the Goodman's opening night performance of A CHRISTMAS CAROL last November...

"Near. Far. Where ever you are..."

Sorry. I'm back.

In order to encourage anyone and everyone to go to Season of Concern's new web site and join our online community, SOC's brilliant and oh, so hot web mistress, Jodi, created the above image to head an email blast that hopes to reach every single theatre artist in the city.

"Uncle Stephen Wants YOU to
Join Season of Concern's Online Community!"

That kind of thing.

It's a brilliant way to make people laugh and encourage them to register with our site...

...but I can feel my career veering dangerously close to a production of LIL' ABNER starring me as Pappy Yokum.

Yeah, that's Pappy. The bald guy being held horizontal. Fuck.

The thought terrifies me.

So, make me feel better. Log onto Season of Concern's web site and register with our online community. Soon, that VIP section (no velvet rope, yet but we're working on it...) will have cool auctions, ticket discounts, information on great parties and events - - the works.

So, please register. For me. For Pappy Yokum.

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