Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Wanda in Chicago

Wanda is coming.

You comic book fans probably think I'm talking about the Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximoff.

Damn this cover is hot! I'm a Kinsey Six and I wanna do her!

You Comedy Central fans probably think I'm talking about Wanda Sykes.

What in the Hell is Wanda Sykes doing with Elaine Stritch? Hey Elaine, lose that damn hat!

I would rather see you wearing Jennifer Hudson's "Kneel before Zod!" silver jacket from the Red Carpet than see you in the same hat you wore when your drunken ass recorded the Original Cast Album of COMPANY in 1970!!!

You music fans probably think I'm talking about Wanda Jackson, the Queen of Rock- a- billy.

"Fujiyama Mama," anyone?

Sorry. None of the above.

But to be fair, you music fans are close.

As this picture from this past Halloween proves, the Wanda that I'm talking about is DEFINITELY a Country Queen.

My mom is coming to Chicago from Friday, March 9th to Tuesday, March 13th!

For those of you who live in the Windy City, the scheduling of dinners and cocktails with Mama Wanda begins now!

I have to tell you, I'm nervous. My mother hasn't visited me in Chicago in nearly four years, which means she hasn't seen me perform in four years. She will be attending SEUSSICAL on Saturday, March 10th at 10:30 a.m.

I rarely if ever get stage fright any more. I can perform in front of just about anyone and not be nervous at all, but since I so rarely perform for either of my parents or my brother, "nervous, happy, scared, excited" describes exactly how I will feel the morning of March 10th.

I can't wait!!


Mike said...

Wanda - the woman, the myth, the mother. Is the Windy City ready? I sure am!

Stephen Rader said...

Mike - Are you sure you're ready for Wanda? Can anyone ever truly be ready for Wanda?

As you know from hearing the story about not wanting to live in a certain section of town, I don't think anyone can ever be ready for my mama!

PunkAndy said...

mike and i were just talking about going to see suessical again and maybe doing brunch with you and your mama after? perhaps if others wanted to join you could reign over the meal like a princess and the queen (you and wanda can arm wrestle over titles) and us your hordes of minions...think it over and let us know...or pencil us in for a dinner reservation

Michael said...

If I do not get invited to a meal with you and Wanda and others for protection, I SHALL BRING THE PAIN!

Stephen Rader said...

Andy and Michael - I think Andy's idea is EXCELLENT! We'd have to think of a place that could hold a group of us that's close to the Apollo and then go there after the show.

Or we could try to get the Pope Room for later in the the day at Buca di Beppo. That's the one place my mother said she wants to go back to! She loves it. :)

Master Aaron said...

I can't BELIEVE I had to hear about this on a "blog." I've been sick for a week, just a little out-of-touch, and WANDA is scheduled and no one calls Me, no one writes Me about this, there isn't a Broadcast E-Mail, NUTHIN'. All day long complete strangers send Me emails about purchasing tickets to Jersey Boys, procuring various pills and ointments that will insure my personal, maximum penile magnificence, and providing introductions to nice, clean Catholic girls IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, but no one has told Me that Wanda is visiting.

I think a certain someone knows what this means. DOESN'T he?

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - I hope it means spanking!!! I hope it means spanking!!!!

Master Aaron said...

If you want it, it isn't punishment. So let's leave it at, I COULD spank you. But I'm not gonna'.

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - Damn. I've really got to start learning how to manipulate you tops.

Rule #1: Whatever you want, beg for the opposite.

Got it! I won't be making that mistake again. :)

Master Aaron said...

Everything boils down to the veracity of the begging, doesn't it? Polish the begging, and even a bottom can rule the world. As long as he doesn't let on. But then, all good Southern girls KNOW that, don't they? I believe they are taught this simple truth from birth.

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - Damn right! We learned that and we also learned to cross our ankles, keep our knees together, say "Bless your heart!" when someone is stupid and to NEVER wear white after Labor Day.