Thursday, February 08, 2007

Will The Real Peyton Manning Please Stand Up?

If this is what it means to be a Bears fan, I'm so glad that I'm musical theatre fag...

CHICAGO BEARS FAN BEGINS PAINFUL NAME
CHANGE


DECATUR, Illinois (AP) -- Scott Wiese is a man of his word. But soon his friends will be saying that about Peyton Manning.

Wiese, a die-hard Chicago Bears fan, will legally change his name to that of the Indianapolis Colts quarterback. He signed a pledge in front of a crowd at a Decatur bar last Friday night, vowing to adopt Manning's name if the Bears lost Sunday's Super Bowl.

The final score was Colts 29, Bears 17.

So on Tuesday, Wiese went to the Macon County Courts Facility and started the process of changing his name.

"I made the bet, and now I've got to keep it," said the 26-year-old,
who lives in Forsyth, just north of Decatur.

Wiese will now have to advertise his intention in the local newspaper -- the Herald & Review -- for several weeks and then have a judge give him the OK to become, legally anyway, Peyton Manning.

The men have little in common, Wiese acknowledges.

Manning the quarterback is 30 years old, stands 6-foot-5 and has a contract with the Colts worth more than $100 million.

Wiese is 5-foot-11 and works at a Staples office-supply store for somewhat less.

"I think I kind of represent all Bears fans," he said. "Not that I'm saying they're all idiots like me, but I represent their passion because I really care about my team, you know?"

While he pledged to take on the new identity, Wiese didn't make any promises about how long he would keep it.


Guys, seriously. Stop making Chicagoans look like we all have an I.Q. equal to the third shift at the Sweetwater, TN Waffle House. Come on!!!!

In a related story, if Christine Ebersole doesn't win the Tony Award for Best Actress in a Musical this coming June, I will offically change my name to Kristin Chenowith.

7 comments:

jer said...

FOR FUCKING REAL. She's so amazing...have you seen the video of her on youtube? Sweet Valley High...it's amazing.

Stephen Rader said...

Oh, yes I have seen that clip of her on YouTube and it's a- fucking- mazing! Just in case though, do you think I'll get any work as a bald fag with the name "Kristin Chenowith?"

Lance Noe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lance Noe said...

YOU'RE POPULAR!

Stephen Rader said...

Lance - I friggin' HATE that POPULAR song. Drive me ape- shit crazy.

When I saw WICKED and those two beds rolled out onto the stage, I said out loud, "Oh Hell... here comes that fucking song."

The 48 year old fag beside me didn't appreciate that very much.

Ever notice that the people who love WICKED are 48 year old fags and 14 year old girls???

Alanda said...

Christine Ebersole was pretty amazing in the show...But regardless, don't change your name...it's not worth it, thin nurse!

Stephen Rader said...

Alanda - "I'm Nancy Dee, the thin nurse!"

I have to say, Kristin was pretty cute on THE VIEW yesterday and usually she's so cute that I want to put three ziplock baggies over her head and drain the life force right out of her.

But yesterday, she was just cute enough. :)