Monday, February 26, 2007

An Oscar Surprise

There was no walking over the top of the seats to get to the stage.

There were no "One Arm Push ups" by Jack Palance.

No one said, "Hello gorgeous!," or "I'm the king of the world!," or "You like me! You really like me!"

Oscar, for all the hype of him being at his "most diverse," was about as interesting as Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread.

The biggest and most pleasant surprise of my evening was that the Oscar party I attended with Kelli and her boyfriend was hosted by none other than fellow blogger, Jeremy. Thank you, Jeremy, for hosting a wonderful party. It was perfection.

And Ms. Mortified herself, Bea, was in attendance. What more could a boy want?

Of course, we were all excited that our Chicago girl went home a winner...

...and thank the Lord she lost the "Ming the Merciless" demi- jacket she was sporting on the Red Carpet...

...did Beyonce's mom make that for her? Geez...

But we all recoiled in terror at "The Bow That Drove Keith Urban To Drink" worn by Ms. Nicole "pulled so tight she has to bend her knees to chew" Kidman.

Fashion Tip: Never wear a bow bigger than your ex- husband.

6 comments:

Alex said...

"Pulled so tight she had to bend her knees to chew..."

I'm stealing that.

Stephen Rader said...

Alex - It's your's if you promise to hire me very, VERY soon as your own, personal cabana boy.

You already know how I look in a g- string.

I'm older now and my ass is starting to resemble cottage cheese, but my milkshake can still bring a couple of boys to the yard.

Well, at least one boy to the yard...

Ok, I gave that boy a twenty to step into the yard for 5 minutes, but that should count...

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

"Never wear a bow bigger than your ex- husband."

LMAO! I guess hair bows are out for her too then.

Stephen Rader said...

E - Exactly!!! When Tom and Nicole's divorce was final, someone from the press asked her for a statement and I believe the said...

"Well, I can wear heels again."

She was funny and charming then. She's teetering on the brink of "Joan Rivers" now.

jer said...

i had such a good time...i hope you did too. i'm so glad you came. maybe next time i'll drink a little less champagne and watch a little more of the show. xo

Stephen Rader said...

Jeremy - Never, ever, under any circumstances "drink a little less champagne!"

Your party was so wonderful. Thank you for a really great evening.

And for your posting about visiting the O. I loved it!!