Sunday, September 07, 2008

My New Favorite Caption Contest #33

There were several really funny captions for the #32 Contest, but my dear friend Lance over at Yokel Boy Makes Good really summed it all up...

And by "it all," I mean the guy on the left's clitoris-sized penis...

"Hey, what up Ken doll!"

Superb caption, Lance. But you know, even though I'm not a big fan of miniatures, I'd still keep that boy around. I mean, his hand works, doesn't it?

If that didn't gross you out, this will - - Republicans REALLY like Gov. Sarah Palin. They have been re-energized by, as Bill Maher dubbed them, "The Maverick and the MILF."

What was touted as a ridiculous choice a week ago is now hailed as a brilliant campain decision. WTF? In the spirit of keeping my enemies closer than my friends, I was reading about this week's Republican National Convention and found several pictures that seemed perfect for the Caption Contest.

For instance, I thought about using this picture of Cindy McCain wearing $313,000 in couture as she spoke on behalf of the political party said to be comprised of and fighting for America's working class citizens.

Real people. Wearing Oscar de la Renta. To go bowling.

Nothing says "I'm not like that uppity Liberal guy" quite like the tailored fit of high priced couture. And 25k in pearls.

She looks fantastic, but why is the rich woman in couture "working class" while the man who worked hard all his life to better himself and his situation considered "elitist?"

Cindy McCain: a Wal-Mart message in a Louis Vuitton bag.


At the other end of the fashion spectrum, there is this woman who also attended the convention.

Believe it or not, the estimated cost to create her "Dumbo By Way of The Lion King" look is significantly less than $313,000.

I'm assuming that this Marjorie Main Look-a-Like made that "elephant hat" all by herself.

I know it's the symbol of the Republican Party, but a woman of a certain size wearing an elephant face on her head... well...

...When I wear my t-shirt that says "You Are What You Eat," I know someone will say "That makes you a dick!" I'm just asking for it.


Then, there were the full-out costumes at the convention. And even though costume is the Serena to fashion's Samantha, I think this convention picture is the most interesting and the most challenging to caption...

No, that's not the American Indian from those "Every Time You Litter an Indian Sheds a Tear" commericals. That's Missouri delegate George Engelbach.

As you can see, Mr. Engelbach attended the convention dressed as "Honest Abe - In Pinstripes!" To me, the choice of the pinstriped suit turned this Abraham Lincoln convention ensemble into a half-assed, badly planned Halloween costume.

But "half-assed" and "badly planned" are phrases that today, symbolize all things Republican, so I'll give him a pass.

Especially since it makes me wonder what Honest Abe would think if, sometime in the 1860's, he hopped in a DeLorean and drove 88 miles per hour to attend this year's Republican Convention.

There's at least an Our American Cousin joke in there somewhere, right? Give Abe a caption.

14 comments:

Polt said...

"After less than an hour at the convention, Abe realized he really DID prefer the theater."

"As he sat, listening to boring speech after boring speech, Abe only had one thought in his mind, 'Where's a Boothe when you need one?' "

HUGS...

Steve said...

"This is the last time I use Levi Johnston's stylist."

Anatomicsd said...

"And to think I died for this shit..."

Aaron said...

"In my day, this party knew how to have a PARTY! Wake me up when that old man leaves with his blonde harlot and his concubine."

Lance Noe said...

I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON!

yeah me!

Angel ABC said...

Shoot me now.

Project Christopher said...

"And just as oblivious to the bullshit being shoveled on stage, the attendees at the RNC didn't notice the actual mummified remains of Abe Lincoln"

Shirley said...

"What. The. Fuck?"

Joie Mayfield said...

Here's my lame submission:

Coming soon to a theater near you... "Weekend at Abe's" from the makers of "Weekend at Bernie's" and "Weekend at Bernie's 2."

dollar said...

I knew the first time I met little Johnny McCain at Gettysburg, that one day he'd grow up and run for President!

Mark in DE said...

Oh, those wacky Republicans...

Mark :-)

erik said...

"Abe couldn't put the thought of the 'elephant' hat out of his mind."

Mike Ellis, The Jolly Reprobate said...

Despite his advanced years, Mr. Lincoln felt an obligation to his childhood friend John to stay through the whole convention.

kansastock said...

'Dear God! I wish I would have brought my Preperation H wipes.'