Monday, October 08, 2007

My Favorite Caption Contest Week #13

I just returned to Chicago this morning from an incredible weekend celebrating my mother's 60th birthday.

I have a few pics from the surprise party that I will try to post later this week, but I thought I would kick-start ARE YOU THERE, BLOG? back to life from it's weekend nap by announcing the winner of Week #12's Caption Contest.

There were MANY brilliant ones - - several that made mention of the nurse's cap by way of Heimlich Maneuvers and Anal Thermometers - - but the final entry by Shirley Heezgay is funny because I'm pretty sure this is EXACTLY what was being said when this picture was being taken.

Shirley Heezgay's winning caption is...

"Uh, guys? Tim? Tommy? I don't think I want to do-- um, guys, I'm flattered but-- Fuck it. Here, hold my beer."

Tim and Tommy. Ah yes, I remember them WELL!

For Week #13's picture, I thought we'd go back to a picture similar to the very popular one used in Week #2.

This one will be popular, as well... for obvious "easy on the eyes" reasons...

Now, I know it's tempting to just sit and STARE at this twinkie in a mankini, but take a moment to actually give the boy a caption, ok?

Deadline for possible captions is this Friday, October 12th at 5:00 p.m. (CST).

Why, oh why, did my high school not have a swim team? Sure, we didn't have a pool, but we shouldn't have let THAT stop us...

24 comments:

cb said...

Rudder? Check.

Stephen Rader said...

CB - Love it!!! I would LOVE to see that rudder! :)

Lance Noe said...

"Fuck i left my cock at derrick's house, AGAIN! Coach Percy is going to kill me!"

"i KNOW i put my car keys in her somewhere."

"Oh, what was that code again? Left side is straight, right side is gay or right is straight and left is... Oh screw it, i'll just do the spring musical?"

"Goggres, chep, hah chep, flipppppeers....?"

"Even if i do go blind i can still FEEL the wall."

"Oh mickey, he's so fine. he's so fine he blows my MIIIIIINNNNNDDDDD!" (OK THIS ONE IS LAME - NEVERMIND! FUNNY IN MY HEAD)

"HOLY SHIT! i finally grew hair! AWESOME!"

UprightGuy said...

"Drop damn it, Drop! I'll never get into the Glee Club this afternoon." Bart thought to himself. He didn't want to spend another year in with the Alt-Ho's.

or

My Bologna has a first name, it's... Hey who took my gum.

Michael said...

Keys....wallet...cellphone....Yup, I'm good to go!

Stephen Rader said...

Lance - I would LOVE to spend the night in your mind!!! Great captions! :)

Uptight Guy - Alt-ho's is brilliant, but I love, Love, LOVE the Oscar Meyer theme song caption! That is hilarious!

Michael - Love it! I think we've both known men who could stash some extra items in their Speedos.

Hell, one of my ex-bf's could have stuffed three text books, an electric typewriter, two end tables and a futon in his man-kini and still had room to... ahem... grow...

Master Aaron said...

Kenneth discovers that cockrings are ineffective in cold water.

Stephen Rader said...

Master Aaron - Funny because it's so friggin' true!!

What DOES work in cold water? Those rubber bands that come wrapped around the newspaper? Hmmmm...

Master Aaron said...

Viagra. Viagra will work in a snow drift. Trust me.

Stephen Rader said...

Master Aaron - Vitamin V: When You Absolutely, Positively Have To Stay Hard Overnight.

Polt said...

I'm just gonna defer to master aaron here, cause his response had me laughing out loud, and I feel sure I couldn't top it. I'll just wait until the next caption thing.

Way to go, master aaron!

HUGS..

Michael said...

Damn you Master Aaron!!!!! That is some funny shit!

Master Aaron said...

Aw, shucks, boys! You'll make an old guy blush! Give me just a minute to look up "blush" in the dictionary, and I'll be right back with you!

Stephen Rader said...

Polt - Master Aaron is definitely one of the smartest, most talented and funniest people I know. I'm trying to convince him that he should start his own blog. You'll still read mine if he starts one of his, right? :)

Michael - Looks like Master Aaron has struck a comedic gold mine!!! WOOHOO!!

Master Aaron - I've only seen you blush once and that was when I walked in on you and that guy... oh... nevermind... :)

Shirley Heezgay said...

Oh, poodle, thank you!

Next caption comin' up!

Stephen Rader said...

Shirley Heezgay - You are more than welcome, cute boy. Keep those captions coming! :)

Shirley Heezgay said...

Here we go...I got three. I know I shouldn't, but somehow this image has inspired me.

In no particular order:

1. "Pitchers spit. Quarterbacks spank. Apparently, THIS is what WE do."

2. "Coach said this black thing would make me more watertight and streamlined. I guess we shoulda practiced IN the water."

3. "THERE'S the gerbil!"

Stephen Rader said...

Shirley Heezgay - All three brilliant, as always. "THIS is what WE do" - - genius!!!

Eric said...

The new ipod attachment isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Stephen Rader said...

Eric - You did it to me again. You made me literally laugh out loud so hard, I'm sure the woman in the office next door is going to file a complaint! Great caption!

Stephen Rader said...

Philip just emailed me these potential captions:

1) for the caption contest: "Ever the boyscout, Eddie never failed to employ his signature "forget nothing" ritual before entering the pool: Spectacles, Testicles, Swimcap, Crotch."

or

"New to watersports, Jared, a former quarter back, was pleased to find a spot to put his lucky gym socks."

or

"Never deterred by poor box office showings, M. Night Shayamalan releases his sequal to LADY IN THE WATER. HAND IN THE SPEEDO."

or

"I don't care what Marion Jones says, all that boy needs are some performance enhancing drugs, and he's got himself a parrr-tayyy!"

khbronson said...

"Swimcap....goggles....where did I put those nose plugs?"

Stephen,
I was lucky enough to go to high school in southern California....swim team and water polo team thankyouverymuch. And yes, I did volunteer to be a timer at the swim meets!!! Lovely eye candy!

Stephen Rader said...

Karen - "Where did I put those nose plugs?" EXCELLENT!!!

And I'm so jealous of you volunteering for the swim team at your high school! Nice. Very nice!

Dana said...

God, I'm not even going to try. I'm deferring to the pros for this pic.