Wednesday, October 31, 2007

To Catch a Necrophiliac

Welcome to a little Halloween game I like to call, "To Catch a Necrophiliac."

If you were to read just this part of the newspaper report...

"A part-time lab technician at Holy Name Hospital was caught having sex with the body of a 92-year-old woman in the hospital's morgue, authorities said Monday."

And then were given this line-up, who would you believe to be the culprit?

A) The creepy entertainer from your 8 year old birthday party, "Magic Bob"


B) Mr. Six Flags


C) Herbert from THE FAMILY GUY


D) One of the guys from the MEN OF MORTUARIES Calendar 2008


Or E) This hottie you found cruising around MySpace

Yep, you guessed it. The culprit is E) Mr. Abs.

Here's the rest of the story, along with a few of the more interesting pictures from Mr. Abs' MySpace page. According to the press...

"Authorities said Anthony Merino, 24, of West 185th Street in Manhattan was working a shift as a histology lab technician on Sunday morning when he asked a security guard for access to a refrigerated area adjacent to the morgue where human tissue samples are stored. The guard complied and then wandered away for several minutes, Bergen County Prosecutor John L. Molinelli said.

"'When he came back, he observed Mr. Merino violating the deceased victim' on a gurney, Moli
nelli said. 'He immediately notified Teaneck police.'

"Merino was arrested at the hospital later Sunday morning. He was charged with sexual pene
tration upon deceased human remains, a second-degree crime that carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison and a $100,000 fine.

"Merino was being held Monday night on $400,000 bail. He was ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation, Molinelli said."

"Psychological evaluation?" Why would he need that?

He's just a 24 year old with rock hard abs, huge guns and a chest you could land a plane on. He could have any woman or man he wanted. But that's just it - - he COULD have all of the LIVING, so he wanted to go for THE DEAD.

Makes perfect sense to me. The freak.

According to Mr. Merino's MySpace page, he enjoys...

"Watching Movies, weight training, playing football, making mix dance/club mixes, going out to the hottest clubs in NYC, and last but not least working hard always cause I know in the end it will all pay off.

"The harder you work the harder you can party."

Apparently, Anthony found a way to party hard WHILE he worked hard. I call that "multi-tasking." Is that a crime?

Well, when "multi-tasking" involves "fucking a 92 year old corpse, yeah. It is a crime.

Suddenly, my sexual practices seem very "vanilla" by comparison.

But if screwing a dead guy is what it takes for someone to think of me as "kinky," being "vanilla" is fine with me.

Thanks to OMG Blog for bringing this insane Halloween story to my attention.


Mark in DE said...

Great post! Weird story, but your treatment of it was really fun to read.


Not that Type of Raven said...

I saw this in the news lastnight! Oy...

btw, Mr. Abs sort resembles your latest Caption of the Week guy, the one in the middle.

...hummmmmm... *arches eyebrow*

jer said...

i wonder if playing dead would work for him...

roborange said...

I wish this tale was made up. I really do. I had heard it this morning on my way to work. The DJ had said he was handsome and had a myspace page as well. Thanks for 'digging' it up.

Thomas MacEntee said...

On the next Maury: Everything you ever wanted to know about necrophilia - but could never get a response.

Stephen Rader said...

Mark in DE - Thank you! Great blog you've got there. I love your memories of Halloween's past.

Raven - I think you're right!!!! MMMMMmmmmm. We need to look into this, don't we?!?!

Jer - I'm sure playing dead would work (he doesn't look that bright), but what are we going to do about the "92 year old" part? And if you tell me that I can pass for 92, I will scratch you!! :)

roborange - I SO wish this story was made up. I don't think it is, but it should be. It's too creepy and strange not to be true.

thomas macentee - Ok, that's friggin' funny - - and probably the real title of a MAURY show!!

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

That is just plain unreal!

Michael said...

This breaks my heart because GODDAMMIT, I would pretend to be a 92 year old corpse for this guy....
Sweet Jesus, what the hell is wrong with people????????

Aaron said...

That snippet of profile reads like one of those MySpace "spam friends" that always try to add me--they're perfect youngsters, doing the perfect things, hanging around the perfect clubs, being seen in all the perfect places. (And oh, by the way, they found this GREAT site where you can make extra money--it's perfect!)

It always makes me smile just a little when I see one of these strutting peacocks fall publicly from grace...but then I'm a hateful beyotch, so whatcha gon' do?

Stephen Rader said...

Whim - I know. But it is real. Isn't that the most disturbing part?

Micheal - If I could figure out how to fake "no pulse," those 24 year old hotties would be ALL OVER ME!!! :)

Aaron - No, baby, you're not a hateful bitch. We ALL like to see those with a bloated sense of self get knocked down a peg or two. Or in this case, knocked to the pavement. Can you imagine the reception that boy is going to get in prison? Oy...

Michael said...

I don't know about the rest of them Aaron, but you are preaching to the choir with me.... ;)

cb said...

Not that I WANT to fuck a dead body- but don't you think the penalty for doing so is a bit harsh??

The person is DEAD. So its not really rape anymore. Geesh.

I could see being sued by the family of the deceased for emotional distress and perhaps cleaning fees... but that's about it.

Plus maybe a misdemeanor charge of vandalism or something.

Stephen Rader said...

cb - You know, I think you're right about this. The penalty is extremely harsh. But then again, it's like that line from SUNSET BOULEVARD, "Funny, how gentle people get with you once you're dead."

Valyna said...


Stephen Rader said...

Valyna - You said it!!