Monday, October 01, 2007

Chris Crocker On Maury Povich (Well, on Maury's show anyway...)

Let me start off by saying, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm putting this out there. I'm sorry that I'm advancing the celebrity of this horrific, little twinkie-fag. It's like a car wreck on the side of the road; I just can't stop watching it.

But really, I should be thanked for promoting this psychotic moron. Anything I do that runs down the clock on his 15 minutes of self-induced fame should be considered an act of kindness to the world as a whole.

I just stumbled upon this on YouTube and I am amazed by it. Amazed. As in "jaw hanging open / hand covering my mouth / eye wide open" kind of amazed.

The same kind of look I get when I see an extra-large penis.

Or that freak, Chris Crocker, on the Maury Povich show.

And believe me, Ms. Crocker doesn't have an extra-large penis. The leopard-skin, low-rise, "Laura Petrie" pants he's got in this video on leave NOTHING to the imagination.



For the record, Chris Crocker's freaky-assed quote of the week is...

"America, I want you to know that before I'm an American, I'm a Britney fan."

What the fuck does that even MEAN!?!?

Update - 10/1/07 - 7:18 PM - Thanks to David from HELL IN A HANDBAG for proving, once again, that I'm right. Click here (if you dare) for naked pics of Ms. Crocker.

His cock is not extra-large.

"Chris Crocker's Cock." Try saying that three times fast while wearing leopard-skin stretch pants and talking to Maury Povich. It ain't pretty.

25 comments:

YARD said...

That boy ain't right!

Stephen Rader said...

Yard - That's the understatement of the decade!! :)

Michael said...

Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ on a Pogo Stick.......make it go away!!!

Stephen Rader said...

Michael - She's so scarey! It's like a Dane Cook movie. The horror!!! THE HORROR!!!!!

David said...

You DID see his nude pics, right?

http://www.omgblog.com/images/chris-crocker-nude.php

Dana said...

Huh.

Master Aaron said...

I avert my eyes from that general direction.

Master Aaron said...

And now that the court has rescinded her custody rights, are we really busy with her anymore? GOD, those kids are in the rough, aren't they? Sucks to be them, I'm thinkin'.

Mary Ann Summers said...

Sorry , your NOT sorry !! I feel touched by mental illness watching that and alittle more of my hope for the human race has been erased! Jeez , Mondays are hard enough to get thru with out that.

Stephen Rader said...

David - Thanks for the link to the nude pics. I was right. It ain't extra-large.

Dana - "Huh?" is absolutely right.

Master Aaron - Sucks to be them is the understatement of the century.

Mary Ann - I hope you're joking with your comment. You are joking, right? I mean, he is psychotic, but I hope you're not giving me shit for putting it out there.

Michael said...

huh indeed.......

Aaron said...

I'm afraid to watch the clip for fear of seeing his nelly little nose and eye-liner running again. He looked like he was trying for Ann-Margret in "Tommy," but ended up a really bad imitation of Shirley Manson from Garbage.

Palm Springs Savant said...

OK THAT WAS SCARY!!!!

Stephen Rader said...

Michael - Yep. "Huh." Indeed.

Aaron - Once again, you've taken a complex social insanity and distilled into one beautifully funny and truthful sentence. Can you imagine actually WANTING to look like Ann-Margaret in TOMMY!?!? I mean, SHE looked good in it, but that's because she's the ONLY person who could pull that off!!!!

Rick - As my mama would say, "That boy ain't right."

Shirley Heezgay said...

tick. tick. tick. tick....

just me said...

Nope, looking at the pics, he ain't nothing to write home about....

Mary Ann Summers said...

Yes , Mr. Rader I was giving you shit for putting it out there, but not to worry thats my problem , I just don't like to admit to myself that I also slow down to catch a glimse of a car wrecks .. How long do you think it will take before Mr. Crocker gets together with Bobby Trendy ? And why oh why if this little shit loves Britney so damn much , why is he sporting the Victoria Beckham Bob?

Michael said...

SWEET JESUS - Crocker and Trendy IN THE SAME PLACE TOGETHER? Isn't that one of the signs of the gay apocolypse?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Stephen Rader said...

Shirley - Amen, baby! Counting those seconds DOWN!!!

Just Me - Nope. He ain't. Bless his heart.

Mary Ann - Chris Crocker and Bobby Trendy. Together. Oh, my eyes!!! MY EYES!!!!!

Michael - What happens with the coming of the Gay Apocolypse? Cher stops touring?!?!?!?

cb said...

What.

THE fuck?

That is one BIG OL' Girl.

Stephen Rader said...

CB - You said it! He opens his mouth and a vagina falls out. It ain't pretty.

khbronson said...

That boy's mama must have dropped him on his head! Po' brain damaged chile!

Stephen Rader said...

Karen - Trust me, that kind of damage ONLY comes from being dropped on your head REPEATEDLY!!!! :)

Michelle Moran said...

The link is no longer working... is there another one somewhere that someone can update? Or did someone save the file to their pc? please update this blog if you know where this picture is or if you have the picture on your computer. ALSO PEOPLE CHECK THIS OUT... THERE IS ACTUALLY A GAY MAN WHO HATES CHRIS CROCKER!!! LOL HE IS COMING OUT WITH VIDEOS SOON ON YOUTUBE AND SEEN THAT HE IS IN THE PROCESS OF LAUNCHING HIS MYSPACE WHICH SEEMS TO BE ATTACKING AT A LOT OF CONTRAVERSIAL SUBJECTS SUCH AS CROCKER, BUT YET HE MAKES GOOD POINTS. I CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE HIS VIDEOS WHEN THEY GO UP AND RUMOR HAS IT THAT THIS GUY PHILLIP DAGGETT AND CHRIS CROCKER ARE RIVALS AND WILL BE CONFRONTING EACH OTHER FACE TO FACE ON VIDEO AS WELL! NOW THIS IS GOOD ENTERTAINMENT AND A CAT FIGHT IN THE MAKING LOL! ANYWAYS THE MYSPACE PAGE IS WWW.MYSPACE.COM/PD1202TP AND MYSPACE IS REPORTING THAT THE PAGE IS ALREADY GETTING OVER A MILLION HITS AND YET IT HAS NOT EVEN BEEN LAUNCHED OR COMPLETED YET BECAUSE I KEEP SEEING CHANGES ON IT IN THE PAST DAY OR SO. CHECK IT OUT... THERE IS ALSO A PETITION TO SIGN ON THIS PAGE BOYCOTTING CROCKER! SIGN IT ALL!!! LOL

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/PD1202TP

Stephen Rader said...

Michelle Moran - What's your email address?