After responding to Shirley Heezgay's meme on Sunday, it feels a little early for TMI Tuesday.
No naked picture this time, y'all. You looked, didn't you? I know you did...
1. If they kept stats of your sex life like they do in sports, what would you lead the league in? what all time record would you hold?
I have no clue if this is an actual stat in basketball, but I'd say...
"Most 3-pointers." Isn't that the one where you shoot really far? Yeah... I'd lead the league in that...
Buckingham Fountain has nothing on me.
2. What song gets you in the mood to have sex? best music to fuck to? best music to make love to?
Ella Fitzgerald's voice always makes want to kiss and touch and slow dance and get lost in the music and my guy.
As far as fucking goes, I don't really have "fuck music." Well, nothing disturbing like "Side One of Led Zeppelin IV" or anything.
However, my first college boyfriend and I were partial to the music of Enigma. And thinking back on those times, I have to say, Gregorian chants are HOT! I know it sounds weird, but trust me.
3. Where is your favorite place to have sex in your house/apartment?
In front of the window.
It keeps a steady flow of "new blood" coming into the orgy, pisses off all those "Gladys Crabtree" nosy neighbors and let's face it, EVERYONE looks good in the soft glow of a distant street light.
Seriously, though. It doesn't matter Where. Who is what counts.
4. (girls) Have you sent or given your used panties to a guy? Do you know what happened to them? (guys) Have you taken/asked for a girls panties before? What did you do with them? (non-breeders) What is the protocol for this "tradition"?
Well, speaking for my "non-breeding people," sometimes we give people our underwear. Or jockstrap. Or a bowling shirt we made INTO a jockstrap or something like that.
But what we really want - - the true goal behind Gay Marriage - - is to find a steady relationship with a man close enough to our waist size so that we'll double our "cute designer" underwear wardrobe.
Or is that just me? Being shallow... yep... it's me...
Still, it's hot to wear your boyfriend's underwear. Or someone else's underwear. A guy at the gym who left his jockstrap on the bench while he showered. This is completely hypothetical, of course...
5. What makes a kiss a great to you?
Slow. Steady. Easy. Hands on face. Letting the passion build. Easily. Never wanting to stop.
Bonus: Who pays for a date? If the girl asks a guy out, does she pay? If you are interested in same sex partners, how do you determine who pays?
Again, speaking for my non-breeding brethren, I think it goes like this: If you do the asking, you do the paying.
Sure some people factor in things like "If you're 20% cuter or 10 years younger, you don't have to pay" or some such "The Rules" bullshit, but the truth is, "You ask, it's your date and you should pay."
And after someone pays for your meal, you should ask them out for another dinner to return the favor.
But then... he'll do the same thing to you... and back again... and it becomes a vicious cycle.
Hmmm... Maybe the "cute" and "young" thing is better math for "date paying."
If that's true, I'm going to be paying for a lot of dates for a long, long time. Oy...