Monday, December 15, 2008

"Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Today in Chicago, the windchill factor is expected to reach as low as 20 to 25 degrees below zero. When I read that, three things popped into my mind...

1) I really need to move closer to the equator.

2) Can't we have just a LITTLE global warming? If a Chicago winter was warm enough so that my testicles stayed outside my body - - instead of retreating to a cozy, uncomfortable spot just beside my left lung - - would that be such a bad thing?

3) I remembered that David Sedaris once said...

"In Chicago, you have real winters. Anywhere you go after living in Chicago the winters are a joke, even New York and especially Paris. 

"In Chicago, you have life or death winters. A trip to the store or the commute to work is like a life and death struggle. 

"In Chicago, there were always times where, if the bus did not come in 5 minutes or less, 
I knew I was going to die." 


When I actually walk outside in all of this, only one thought will pop into my mind...

1) Holy Fuck, is it cold!!!

11 comments:

anatomicsd said...

Current temp is -13F with a wind chill of -39F. I had frost on the inside of my truck windows.

F6's Editor said...

loved #2

Java said...

Minneapolis/St. Paul, Fargo, and most of Wyoming might rival Chicago for wicked cold. I wouldn't know from experience. Our forecast for this week includes a couple of days at 70 degrees. I am currently sitting comfortably in front of the open window. Come on back down south, my friend. Just beware of the rabid homophobia here. Also, the summers are unbearably hot.

Aaron said...

I grew up in IL, so I'm very used to cold winters. Also, I lived in a big drafty house where it was not uncommon to see our breath in the winters. Indoors.

But boy, living in a tiny condo with central heating makes for catastrophic temperature variations in my place. I'm surprised I haven't caused a tornado just by opening my door.

Also, it gets harder to deal with the cold the older we get! (Why is that?? Is our blood really getting thinner?? I'll have to stop thinning it with so much vodka, won't it?) ;-)

Mark in DE said...

Don't forget to wear your long johns under your clothes!

Bunny said...

It's 73 here today. I'm not thrilled with South Carolina overall, and kinda miss snow, but I'll take 73 over bitter cold any day.

McCool said...

But everyone's coming to my SOC Rent Party with A Twist tonight from 630-830pm at Duffy's (Sheridan and Diversey) with free domestic draft beer right????

Polt said...

Today here in South Central PA, it was 66 degrees. Tomorrow, however, it's supposed to struggle to get into the 30's. I guess the cold you had today is on its way...thanks. :)

HUGS...

My friends call me Mitzi said...

Oh, it's ironic that you chose that post title. You'll understand what I mean soon.

Kristie said...

I feel for you babe. I'll be up there in a few weeks to freeze along with ya.

cb said...

Yes, I agree. Chicago winters are terrible terrible things. Almost as bad as Minneapolis ones...