I mean, other than my usual tardiness, procrastination and my Scarlett O'Hara, "I'll worry about that tomorrow" way of coping with life.
I think the picture I chose was just too freaky. I wanted to choose a winner for the #41 contest, but the picture kept reminding of that creepy Anthony Hopkins film, Magic.
The caption contest picture shows a bargain basement ventriloquist's dummy hugging a poor man's Ann-Margaret impersonator, and the movie Magic featured both a ventriloquist's dummy and Ann-Margaret.
You could tell them apart in the movie because one of them gave a very wooden performance & couldn't even make it to the set without a hand up their ass, and the other one was a ventriloquist's dummy.
So, with all that, I chose to block the picture from my mind. In the same way that I block out certain ex-boyfriends, the crazy-assed Cosby sweaters I wore in the late 80's and most of the lyrics from the musical, Wicked.
But I can't keep blocking it from my mind. The picture, not the Wicked lyrics, I mean.
It's time to choose a winner and I'm going with the caption that Angel from Angel's Crash Pad wrote...
"Watch, when his dick talks, her vagina moves."
I love it! So wrong, it's right. And I know it's true because that's what I do with my Carol Channing ventriloquist doll.
Well, I would do that if I actually owned one. And if my ass could be substituted for the vagina mentioned above (Don't say it). And if Carol had a penis. I mean, if the doll version of Carol had a penis. Wait, DOES Carol have a penis? We know she ate corn, but a penis?...
Well, all this "Carol Channing in The Crying Game" nonsense aside, I've chosen a picture for the #42 Caption Contest that is both current, artistic and yet continues the previous contest's theme of a ventriloquist who can't quite keep her hand out of a familiar hole.
Only this time, it's not Ann-Margaret, it's Chita Rivera. And as you can see, Chita has her hand around (and quite possibly in) Karen Olivo.
Karen is in the Broadway revival of West Side Story that just opened last week. She plays Anita, the role Ms. Rivera originated.
Chita met with Ms. Olivo and the rest of the cast last month. And, as you can see in the picture, Chita did... something... with her hand... to Karen...
Did Chita do that to Rita Moreno when the cast list for the movie version hit the press? Did Rita like it as much as Karen seems to like it?
I'll call Karen and Rita ("Hey, you guys!"). You give these girls a caption. And some lube.