Wednesday, March 25, 2009

"I'm Just a Backwoods Barbie, Too Much Makeup, Too Much Hair"

Y'all, I'm beside myself. For so many reasons.

Dolly Parton has started a video diary. She's partnered with Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel has released a collectors edition of Dolly's album "Backwoods Barbie" with THREE NEW SONGS.

And most bizarre/best of all, Cracker Barrel is offering a limited edition Dolly Parton rocking chair. In all pink!!!

Now, before any of you homos get on the warpath about Cracker Barrel not hiring gays and lesbians, let me just say this - - the biscuits. Have you had their biscuits?

Seriously though, I think that the "don't hire gays and lesbians" issue was years ago, but if not, how long do you think they can keep us out if they have pink, Dolly Parton rocking chairs out in front of the restaurant?!?

Their corporate offices may not like the gays, but if you partner with Dolly, you get the 'mos. In DROVES!

I just have to figure out how to go back home, buy my Dolly Parton pink rocking chair and get it back to Chicago before Pride this year. All the fags will be SO JEALOUS!

While I figure that out, here's Dolly's first video diary. God, I love this woman!!!


Teresa said...

Hey there pumpkin...

You know there's a Cracker Barrel up in Gurnee, right? A much shorter schlep to there than Tennessee :)

Project Christopher said...

WHAT? REALLY? (Gurnee!)

mmmmmmmmm hashbrown casserole......

sometimes you just have to say "fuck it" when the antigays have something you want! the rest can be damned!

Anatomicsd said...

Oh Lord. A pink rocking chair. Special Someone is gonna want one for sure.

yellowdog granny said...

I've never eaten at a cracker barrel..but I will now..

Prospero said...

More than once, I 've heard Dolly say that if she'd been born a man, she would have been a drag queen.

And I get to Cracker Barrel once a year while visiting my sister in Florida. Scary, scary place that tries to kill people with carbohydrates and then sell teh survivors the world's most useless crap on the way out. It's kitsch-tastic.

McCool said...

you'd better hurry! "only 1,350 have been made."

AND, (drumroll) they're available ONLINE!!!

just me said...

I heard that Dolly's new CD was being sold at Cracker Barrel, and I said, "What?!" they must have gotten that wrong....but now I understand, sort of.

I remember Dolly when she had smaller boobs, now that tells you how old my ass is...Her and Porter Wagner, singing a duet...that's priceless.

I didn't know that Cracker Barrel sold biscuits...I just thought it was cheese.