Tuesday, March 18, 2008

TMI Tuesday

A Hooch-Filled TMI Tuesday. Hooch, not hoochie. Alcohol, not Mariah Carey.

1. In the midst of a hangover have you ever promised to "never drink again?" How long until you broke that vow?

I never really get "that drunk." Occasionally, I have too much tequila from too many banana margaritas and I regret it on the walk home, but I have a relatively easy time not getting so drunk that I swear to never drink again the next morning.

You see, once your father has stumbled naked and drunken into the living room in front of you and your best friend when you're 14 years old - - incoherently talking in his own alcohol-inspired language that sounds like Captain Caveman with a mouth full of vomit - - you decide early on that you're not going to be "that guy."

And you're not going to date "that guy" either. Just sayin'...

2. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done while drinking (or not if it is really stupid) but thought it seemed like a good idea at the time?

Fell asleep at a Caribou Coffee while a friend read me Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus.

Seriously. That's about it. I'm friggin' off the hook, aren't I? You shoulda seen me New Years...

3. On a scale of 1-10, where do you rate green beer?

Why don't you just lance a boil off of some random guy's neck and be done with it.

4. Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn't have (drunk or sober)?

Yes I have, and the thing is, when you're not blotto, the action of kissing your boss' boyfriend or your boyfriend's father or your father's boyfriend's boss is just enough of a shock to your system ("Danger Will Robinson! Danger Will Robinson!") to help you stop the insanity and walk away without totally ruining what's left of your reputation.

But when you're hammered, that same shock to your system is misinterpreted ("Hey, Will Robinson! Dr. Smith is TOTALLY hot for you!") and you end sleeping with your boss' boyfriend, or your boyfriend's father, or the creepy, fey scientist you're lost in space with.

(That's some slash fiction I've never seen. And REALLY don't want to see for infinite reasons.)

5. What is the stupidest thing you have ever seen a drunk do (besides driving a car)?

See "My Father" under Question #1

Bonus (as in optional): How do you cure your hangover(s)?

I suggest going to Caribou Coffee and having a friend read Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus to you till you fall asleep.

But hey, that's just me.

Mr. Off the Hook!


I Smile 2 Much said...

holy heck. you seriously crack me up. i luv it! esp your #4 answer. u are soooo funny & cute. luv reading your answers ; )

happy tmi! ; )

Aaron said...

Does Mo Willems have a twin brother named Les? I just wondered...

The worst book title I ever heard was "Who Moved My Cheese?" It became THE corporate cop-out fluffy-read-in-lieu-of-some-real-leadership book of the late 90s. I remember upper management where I used to work passing it out to all the managers while my boss was on vacation. And one day, while I was leaving him my daily update voice mail, I couldn't remember the title and was too far away from his in-box. So I said, "They're passing around this book for everyone to read called 'Who Cut The Cheese' or something..."

Anatomicsd said...

We see eye-to-eye about the Green Beer.

Or any beer for that matter.

Polt said...

Off the hook indeed! Um, do you even know where the hook is?


the joy said...

Lol I would have died if that was my dad. Just croaked right there. My dad's a happy drunk.

I'm really interested to read this pigeon\bus book. Sounds like a page turner.

the joy said...

PS: Aaron, my friend and I in high school re-titled the book, "who moved my tampon," when her mother tried to explain the premise of it to us. Who, indeed.

cb said...

I think I can beat your "stupid things I have done while drunk" stuff... but I don't want to detail them here.