"Why Is It Only My Ass That Gets Invited Places?"

Today, Amy Matheny is taking me to the matinee performance of A Chorus Line. 

We'll be podcasting before and after (and possibly, during the intermission) for The Windy City Queercast.

I've never seen A Chorus Line on stage before. Never seen the show. I've only seen the movie, which I loved but I've been told is far inferior to the stage version.

I don't know about that. All I know is that I want to play Sheila someday. 

Actually, I don't need to play Sheila. I've already introduced her lines into my everyday life. Lines like...

"Can we smoke? Can the ADULTS please smoke?"

Or in an audition, when choreographers ask me if I don't know the combination, I strike my best Sheila pose and say...

"I knew it when I was in the front."

Then, after the matinee, Amy and I will be hitting Sidetrack for showtunes in the afternoon for more podcasting, and at Sidetrack, they will inevitably play the clip below, which is from the film version of A Chorus Line.

If you live in Chicago and you go to Sidetrack, you know this little piece of film blooper history, but if you don't, watch the clip until almost the very end. Around mark 3:30 or so, look at the bottom righthand corner of the screen. Now, look at the third dancer from the right on the second row. This particular dancer is a little shorter than the ones around him or her.

Keep your eye on that dancer (third dancer from the right on the second row) and at mark 3:33/3:34, that dancer falls. Just goes down, as if a trap door has been opened and he or she disappears. But in a second or two, that dancer pops right back up as if nothing happened. 

At Sidetrack, the bartenders have flashlights to circle the dancer that's about to take a tumble. And just before it happens, a room full of drunk, gay men begin chanting, "Fall! Fall! Fall! FALL!"

It's a little piece of Heaven on Earth.

Also at Sidetrack, the gay men add a line to the lyrics of this song. You'll hear the movie cast sing...

"One singular sensation,

every little step she takes..."

And the gay men scream in time with the song...

"She's a lesbian!"

And the movie continues...

"One thrilling combination, 

every move that she makes..."

And the homos...

"She's a lesbian!"

Try it at home. I think you'll like it.