"You Are an Anonymous Bitch!"

The Chicago Redeye...

...a free version of the Chicago Tribune, scaled- and dumbed-down for the on-the-go, 20-something who never reads newspapers, even when they're free, scaled- and dumbed-down just for them...

...has a section where a "panel of experts passes judgment on the fashion choices of celebrities and Chicagoans alike." It's called Redeye's Wearwolves.

Get it? "Wearwolves" and not "werewolves." God, they're clever and trendy! Careful not to step in my sarcasm.

I despise the Redeye's Wearwolves. Both the section and the "panel of experts" themselves.

Some photographer from the Redeye goes to a bar on a certain night and takes pictures of a few people; people who just wanted to go out and have a good time with their friends, not walk the runway in Bryant Park. 

From the look of the pictures, these people know they are being photographed, but God only knows if the photographer told them that their photograph will be sent to a selection of fashion nobodies who will then judge, critique and/or mock their clothing choices inside a free, widely distributed "newspaper," for lack of a better word.

For example, this is what Fasano & Worth (who, I believe, own His Stuff in Andersonville) had to say about this gentleman's outfit...

"I have that same outfit— to walk my dog in."

Wow. That's so not funny. At all. Insult comedy is hard, isn't it, guys?

You know, Fasano & Worth, if you were even slightly funny or if your critiques were more helpful than hurtful, it might make me forget what incredible douchebag assholes you both are. 

The two of you have been making mean-spirited, nasty "What Not to Wear" comments from behind the curtain of the Great and Powerful Oz for far too long.

So, here's what I propose. The next time that Fasano & Worth are out walking their dog, someone needs to take their picture, upload it on the Redeye's site and allow the people of Chicago to give them our opinion of their fashion choices. 

And not just when they're walking the dog. I want to see what these fags wear at a bar, at the supermarket, as they leave the gym, as they leave the emergency room where they've been screaming at the ER doctor, "I don't know how it got there, just get it out!" - - everywhere.

After all their bitchy, catty critiques, it's time for these queens to take their medicine. And as my Dad says, "Paybacks are a motherfucker."

While we wait for the day when we'll be able to judge the local fashion judges, let's enjoy Whoopi Goldberg's response to an article in TV Guide by Ingela Ratledge that criticized Whoopi's clothing choices saying...

"You come to work looking like you're ready to make a run to Costco."

You can imagine what Whoopi had to say about that on The View.

This made me cheer...