Tuesday, July 29, 2008

TMI Tuesday

This week's TMI Tuesday says, "This is a tribute to the late great George Carlin." This should be fun.

1. What is your language pet peeve.

I despise - - truly and utterly despise - - when adults spell and/or change words as if they were 8 year old girls.

You know what I'm talking about. You're not "best friends," you're "besties."

"Whatever" becomes "whatevs." "Hot" becomes "hawt."

In the movie Arthur, Liza Minnelli says to Dudley Moore, "Don't be a lover, be a person."

So, to all my "besties" who think it's "hawt" to say "whatevs," I say...

"Don't be cute, be a person."

2. What is your favorite word? Both dirty and clean?

Okay. If this is truly a tribute to George Carlin, then there are no "dirty words" or "clean words." Words are words. Period.

If a word can be "dirty," then it can also be "bad." And I don't believe in bad words. Just bad people. And usually, it's bad people who are offended by and want to ban "bad words."

That said, my favorite word - - dirty or otherwise - - is COCKSUCKER. For so many reasons.

3. What is the one word you cannot spell?


4. What is the one word you always pronounce wrong?

"Lawyer." I'm not sure how I'm SUPPOSED to say it, but apparently, whenever I say "lawyer," I sound like Jeff Foxworthy telling a "You might be a redneck" joke.

Solution? I simply say, "Attorney." Blow me, bitch.

5. If you could erase one popular catchphrase from the English language, what would it be?

"Defying gravity." Erase the catchphrase, erase the song. Erase the friggin' show.

Every time an Elphaba sings that song, God kills a kitten. It's true.

Can you blame God? The song SUCKS!

Bonus (as in optional): The late, and very hot Michael Hutchence (INXS) once sang, "Words are weapons, sharper than knives" . What is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to anyone? Was it deliberate or accidental? What was the most hurtful thing ever said to you? Do you think it was deliberate or accidental?

Cher sings that "Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes." Not kill, they wound.

So, I prefer Cher's take on words as opposed to a guy who strangled himself while jacking off.

The most hurtful thing I ever said was when I screamed at my then boyfriend who was walking down my street with a trick, "Be careful if you fuck him, he gets around."

My then boyfriend turned around and said the most hurtful thing ever said to me...

"Why don't you go home and
put a knife to your throat."

This was just days after I had stayed up half the night with a knife to my wrist planning to end my life, mainly because of the disastrous, painful and destructive relationship I was in.

If only words were knives. If so, I would have killed that son of a bitch ages ago.

Well, this blog can't always be Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows, you know!


fake lottery tickets said...

All I can say is nothing because your blog is not interesting to read.

Stephen Rader said...

Oh, I do so love Spammers.

So to you "fake lottery tickets," all I can say is "Fuck you, cocksucker. Lick my raw, blistered asshole."

That interesting enough for you? :)

Aaron said...

Oh my...apparently Stephen Schwartz has found your blog and is selling fake lottery tickets under a fake name!

(I thought I was alone in my hatred of that song--it's the new "Seasons of Love." Christ Almighty, make it go away...)

My favorite word is "motherfucker." I first heard it when I was six and I laughed my ass off...it's never lost its charm.

Project Christopher said...

ROFL!!!!! YAY! give it to him Stephen! He's just mad because you busted him for nearly hanging himself while jacking off!

(and lay off Elphaba....)

David said...

Can God kill your old boyfriend instead of a kitten? I'll belt that awful ballad from the rooftops. What a prick.

Polt said...

blow me bitch...love it! Never knew you could be so...domineering? No I mean, butch, never knew you could do that! :)


Honey said...

Great answers! And onomotopeia is one of my all time fave words to say... it just rolls of the tongue. ;)

jer said...

i totally have the same problem with lawyer. i also can't say sawyer...the dude from LOST? it's weird the words that trip me up. i also have hard time with sale and sell.

Jen said...

That was wonderful! I apparently can't say the words "manicure" and "pedicure" I meld them into "medicure". Luckily since I am holding out my hands and one foot people know what I am talking about.

UprightGuy said...

I hate when people say "dy" sense of humor. It's WRY.