Thursday, July 17, 2008

My New Favorite Caption Contest #27

Some people say that comedy is tragedy plus timing.

I believe comedy is tragedy that is happening to someone else.

Call it bitchy. Call it schadenfreude. Call it whatever you want, but you can't tell me that you haven't at least giggled when you've seen a stranger fall flat on his face for no apparent reason.

Laughing at another person's misfortune is simply our way of saying, "Thank the Lord that wasn't me."

I say this because, after I award the winner for the #26 Caption Contest, I am going to give all of you a wonderful gift - - the chance to laugh not "with" me but "at" me and to realize that, no matter how bad things are at present, at least you're not painted blue.

The winner for the #26 Caption Contest goes to one of my favorite bloggers, Polt from Polt's Place. His caption truly made me laugh out loud...

"You think THAT'S something,
you shoulda seen what he did to the ficus."

Brilliant, Polt! And by the by, I would LOVE to know what he did to the ficus. It's the Romantic in me.

But before we can learn about the love of a boy and his ficus, it's time for my gift to you. I gave my final performance as The Genie in Aladdin today, so I thought it only fitting that my personal tragedy should be used to bring enormous amounts of comedy to others.

After all, this could be you...

After you've stopped guffawing and wiped the tears of laughter from your eyes - - or the tears of pain from looking at this picture without safety goggles and a throw up bag - - slap me up a caption.

And you know, now that I think of it, this picture provides some happiness for me as well. Because I never, ever have to wear that costume ever again.

Thank you, sweet Jesus...


Anatomicsd said...

"It's been so long that it's not only my balls that are be careful what you rub...and wish for."

Polt said... honored am I? I actually beat Philip? how did that happen? Now what can I come up with this time?

"Rub my lamp, son...not the one in my hand, the one in my pants."

"Thanks, genie, but I only need ONE wish...see that kid hanging on the tree in the photo above....."

"I know I looked stupid, but didn't Elaine Stitch get her start this way?"

"Sorry to ruin you bachelor party, dude, but Barbara Eden was busy tonight, so you get me."

"And to think I turned down Mr. Potato Head in the Toy Story play for THIS!"

"Dammit kid you try to take this lamp one more time, I'm gonna give you three wishes, right upside your head."

"Not only do I have a flying carpet and a magic lamp, but check out my spiffy JAZZ HANDS!"

"You think this is something, you should seen what I do to my ficus!" (well it was worth another try)


Alanda said...

oh my god. i can't even think thru my laughter to give you quotes. it's a damn good thing you told me to not come to the show, cos i wouldn't have been able to handle that. oh my christ. you waited to share that until the last! LOL

Java said...

Oh you poor, poor thing. You've got the smirk going on, though, baby!

Palm Springs Savant said...

wish I had seen you in are suchh a talent Stephen.

cb said...

"Pippy Temple-stocking"

Project Christopher said...

Oh my lord.... sorry I missed that show! What a hoot! you "skin" has a paisley-esque quality, how gay...

how about

"It doesn't take magic to make this disappear! Abu, pass me that J-Lube"

Mark in DE said...

Wow, Stephen, you've been working out!

Mark :-)

Master Aaron said...

Here is my suggested caption, sung to the tune of American The Beautiful:

O beautiful capacious guise,
That brought such public pain,
For purple ears and skin that’s greased,
And that black yarn-ed mane!

The Genie’s Here! My God, he’s Queer!
I laughed until I pee’d,
Now wash your face, I’m on your case,
My talk you must now heed!

O beautiful garage-sale lamp
That must have given stress.
Is that a skirt you’re wearing there?
In this case, less is LESS!

The Show is Dead! Regain your head!
And end this side career.
They’ll call again, I don’t know when,
You just say, “NO!” my dear.

Angel ABC said...

If Mr. French got Jody, then Stephen got Buffy.

whimsical brainpan said...

You look great!

Bill Hawley said...

With a barely audible *poof*, The Genie made every trace of his dignity disappear.