Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Super Tuesday

Blanche had Baby Jane.

President Jimmy Carter had his brother, Billy.

Lindsay Lohan has her father. And her mother. And herself.

You think maybe, just maybe, this is Christian Bale's brother?

Little Billy Bale? It could happen.

And if so, do you think if I slept with him and suffered through being intimate with that "I Showed My Miniature Batpole at Mardi Gras and All It Could Get Me Was One Crappy Strand of Beads" golf pencil he's sporting under those Bat-Briefs, he introduce me to his brother?

Probably not. But maybe Little Billy and his "Lil Billy" are truer to the real Batman than we've ever considered.

Maybe Bruce Wayne dresses up like a bat with all the black rubber and gadgets and kick ass cars because he's overcompensating. And with that much "compensation," can you imagine how small it is?

Then, the first boy he brings into his Bat Family is named what? Dick.

And there's definitely a little male-to-male penis envy behind Bruce turning Dick, not into "Batboy," but into "Robin," and making him wear a brightly colored costume for night time crime fighting that looks like Peter Pan as played by Austin Scarlett.

I always knew Robin was hung.

1 comment:

dirkmancuso said...

Mother. Of. God.

That man is FINE.