And why am I no longer a high schooler?!?
PITTSBURGH - A high school wrestling coach accused of biting a wrestler in the leg has agreed to resign rather than face possible criminal charges, police said.
Mike Marshall bit the Central Cambria High School wrestler at practice on Jan. 21, Cambria Township police officer James McGough said.
"The coach was wrestling with him and bit him in the leg, the upper thigh," McGough said.
The bite caused bruising but did not draw blood, McGough said.
The student, who McGough did not identify, did not want to prosecute and opted to drop the matter if Marshall agreed to resign, police said.
Marshall's attorney, John D. Messina, said the incident was "completely innocent" and not malicious.
"The incident occurred while he was joking around with one of the wrestlers," Messina said. "Certainly it was poor judgment and it cost him his job."
Oh yeah, when I'm joking around with an underage boy half-dressed in lycra, I always punctuate my joke by placing my mouth on his upper thigh. And then biting.
It reminds me of what I sometimes say about being gay...
"I'm not gay. I just like the taste of them."